this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2025
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I'm going with Danny Devito! That fuck would straighten out the church. He got good morals. He just a nice guy. What about you?

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[–] letsgo@lemm.ee 4 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (1 children)

The guy who's already two thirds pope. Popeye of course! Popeye for Popey!

[–] johncandy1812@lemmy.ca 2 points 8 hours ago
[–] selkiesidhe@lemm.ee 7 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

I vote for whomever Francis had on mind (hopefully he discussed that before passing).

There's little chance of getting someone as decent as him.

[–] boomzilla@programming.dev 3 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

Yes he had one candidate, if I understand correctly: Luis Antonio Tagle. He has a vision of a church adjacent to the poor and the working population in general though he seems regressive on LGBTQ. But going by the sign of times, it'll probably be Raymond Burke. I suppose Vance visited the Vatikan to pave his way.

Personally I concur Danny DeVito would totally be the man for the job. He would gonna get real weird with it and he certainly doesn't diddle kids.

[–] MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world 1 points 9 hours ago

Pope Ringo George

[–] Apeman42@lemmy.world 7 points 20 hours ago (1 children)
[–] MBech@feddit.dk 2 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

I don't know much about him, but he's always seemed super cool. I'm down with a cool pope.

[–] Apeman42@lemmy.world 3 points 19 hours ago

He didn't get to be Spider-Man when it was age-appropriate and people were buzzing about the idea. I feel like Pope is a good consolation prize.

[–] tiredofsametab@fedia.io 3 points 20 hours ago

Bernie Sanders. Christianity spun out of a Jewish apocalyptic sect, so why not, in some very small part, bring it back toward its roots?

John Oliver

[–] InfiniteHench@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Gilbert Gottfried

Deadmau5.

The tapes of some of these Catholic hymns are getting kinda worn- let's get some fresh beats to liven things up. And a laser lightshow in St Peter's Basilica would help appeal to the "hip youths" ensuring a continued Catholic hegemony for the next century.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 1 day ago
[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 1 points 22 hours ago

Eckhart Tolle. I personally think he has a neurological disorder but he'd make life better.

[–] Nasan@sopuli.xyz 37 points 2 days ago (3 children)

I thought the crowd favorite would've been Luigi, though I have no idea what the requirements are for being elected Pope.

[–] Agosagror@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Be male Be a roman catholic Get enough cardinals to vote for you

[–] superkret@feddit.org 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

For each of these requirements there's at least one Pope who didn't meet them.

[–] Nasan@sopuli.xyz 18 points 1 day ago

So you're saying Luigi has a chance?

[–] Freshparsnip@lemm.ee 6 points 1 day ago

I'd vote for him

[–] gothic_lemons@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

Dang I might have to change my vote

[–] missingno@fedia.io 22 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I think we should reelect Francis.

[–] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 4 points 1 day ago

No no no. You aren't allowed to elect dead popes, just prosecute them.

[–] mysticpickle@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

We just gotta set up one of those WH40K Golden thrones for him!

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Guarantee they have something that's already halfway there tucked in a warehouse.

[–] ERROR_100_000_100@infosec.pub 19 points 2 days ago

I hereby crown/appoint Rowan Atkinson as Pope Johnny.

May his Beanliness 🫘 last forever.

Related

[–] RangerJosey@lemmy.ml 29 points 2 days ago

Vermin Supreme.

[–] roofuskit@lemmy.world 24 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Satan. I'm pretty sure he would greatly increase the morality and the accountability in the Catholic Church.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

If nothing else he would send all the pedo preists to hell.

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[–] squirrel@discuss.tchncs.de 25 points 2 days ago (1 children)
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[–] Zagorath@aussie.zone 19 points 2 days ago

The pope goes by AD&D druid rules. The new pope is the guy who killed the previous pope.

So it's J D Vance.

[–] Hello_there@fedia.io 16 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Last one was on the liberal side. Expect a hardcore, gay hating conservative this time.

[–] CaptainPedantic@lemmy.world 19 points 2 days ago

I had read that Francis appointed 80% of the Cardinals who pick the new Pope. So it's possible that the new Pope will have similar views to Francis.

[–] Sixtyforce@sh.itjust.works 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The Gang Bankrupts The Vatican

theme song

[–] EnsignWashout@startrek.website 3 points 20 hours ago

"I'm not going to lead mass. Leading mass is Charlie Work!"

[–] TabbsTheBat@pawb.social 13 points 2 days ago

The pope elections always last long cause every man always votes for himself. Just like the pirate king of brethren court

[–] victorz@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Yeah Danny sounds good. Or Jack Black would pope the hell out of that Vatican, literally.

[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 1 points 4 hours ago
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