needthosepylons

joined 1 year ago
[–] needthosepylons@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Ocd is a nice lead indeed ^^

[–] needthosepylons@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago

Ah, yes you're right. And I think I feel the same. I can strive for perfection and know the best I can do is the best solution within my reach. Then, well, that's the way to go.

[–] needthosepylons@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago

My own philosophy/creed is based on Spinoza. I've seen a few parallels drawn between him and stoicism. I'll definitely read about those. Thank you very much!

[–] needthosepylons@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

But.. There wouldn't be any contradiction between trying your best to do the right thing and rewarding sex/finding a projets you're passionate about. Or is there?

[–] needthosepylons@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago

Well.. If I had a bad day.. that's it. From quitting smoking, I understood this : There's no virtue in guilt. Guilt will always make thing worse. The best and only thing to do is to fix what makes you guilty and if you can't, get a good night of sleep.

When I wrote trying to act like a saint, it was a bit ironical, like I was trolling myself. But in practice, well, it looks quite similar.

But I'm trying to keep a calm mind. I learnt froo' Spinoza a very emancipating way of thinking : ".... as much as it is currently on oneself to".

I've felt jealousy two times I think. Well. It means in the context I was in, given all the determinations of the situation, I could not feel anything beside jealousy. Then I'll try to change the situation, playing on whatever parameters I can, to diminish the jealousy in favor of something else I feel more aligned to. It will or won't work. If it doesn't, well, no need to panick or feel guilty, I'll have to try another way.

To answer your questions, the fear of judgment would certainly qualify. Fear of badness not so much. It's always "as much as I can". But some days, I can very little. I'll try my best to do this very little.

And I don't judge other people (as long as they're not bosses, politicians, capitalists, etc). Even if they don't care about morals as I do, they can still be decent individuals and strive with all their being got something else. Beauty, woodworking, fixing society, music, getting enough money to pay their mother a nice retirement house, becoming skilled martial artists, hiking in the country, finding nice mushrooms. I respect all those and recognize my brothers and sisters in them. My own morally-centered way is just.. a way along others, it's not better but it's the one I'm drawn to.

Do you see what I mean?

[–] needthosepylons@lemmy.world 1 points 7 hours ago

Your last point is.. where it all kinds falls off. I'm trying to learn about it. Be careful about myself. 8ve understood that's what I have to learn, but it will take time. I understood it's important, thanks to my therapist, thought. Thanks so much for your message!

[–] needthosepylons@lemmy.world 2 points 7 hours ago

Hmmm.. If I drop a plate and it smashes, I won't feel much. Maybe a bit pissed for 5 secs if I'm in a hurry. I'll just take another. If a friends does it, I won't react in any specific way. In both cases, there's no.. moral question involved for me, I think. Do you think there could be?

I'm striving to be as just and kind as it is possible in a given situation. And sincerely, I truly think I'm doing this for myself. Well, it's complicated since I'm also the kind of person who tries to please everyone he loves. But.. I feel my reward is not any praises, praises are bland, they don't understand what is at play. Not points but searching for the best behavior, nourishing the best ideas, giving minimal place to the others.

I sincerely think I'm not considering myself better or worse than anyone. My way is a moral one. A certain of moral, as well. So that's what I strive for. I totally admit other people could strive for something else entirely and I wish them luck in this, except if it's toxic and power hungry.

So since I very rarely compare myself to others, the question of my value compared to theirs makes no sense for me. The question of my own value to my own eyes either. I am. I don't have to prove anything to anyone, even to myself. Being us enough.

But I find your answer very delicate, wise and kind so thank you very much for writing this, truly!

[–] needthosepylons@lemmy.world 4 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

I can't rule out pride being part a factor, it would be presomptuous, but I don't feel that way. For a simple reason : I'm kinda unable to feel good or bad about myself. I can't hold myself in high or low regard.

My impression, but maybe I'm wrong, is that I strive for some things and want to realize them fully. But other people may strive for something else entirely. It's... hard, if not impossible to compare, don't you think? I think I feel that way.

[–] needthosepylons@lemmy.world 1 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

Some example would include helping strangers in multiple way, try to manage conflicts graciously, house homeless people, prep food for my roommates everyday, try my best to forgive people when they're rude, standing for a bullied colleague, bring pastries to colleagues, drive give money to as many homeless people as I can, intervene in street fights to separate people, etc.

Thanks for your answer!

47
submitted 14 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) by needthosepylons@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
 

Alright, so, something I've been talking about with my therapist a lot, but I thoughts folks out here could have interesting povs.

To sum it up, I'm constantly trying to act like a saint (figuratively, I'm an atheist). There's one exception to this, people holding power and making others miserable in any way.

But basically, you know, this whole mentality of banishing anger, jealousy, egoism, selfishness, greed, desire for power and authority and all that? That's me.

I don't mean I manage to do so constantly, but that's what I strive for.

One could think, and I did think, it was a desire for social praise. But really, when I get praised, which happen a lot, I don't care and that's more awkward that anything (like : woa dude, it's not the Oscars or something, chill out). And little by little, I started to think it didn't have much to do with being praised, that's just striving to live as I think it's better to live. To live a life I'll me content with when the grim reaper will come and all praises won't mean anything anymore.

My therapist thinks it's not really an issue as long as it doesn't cause myself pain (which it does because I'm deaf to my own needs 50% of the times).

But I don't see a satisfying way to live apart from that.

One potential misinterpretation I'd like to prevent. It's a very strong drive, but it doesn't make me blind. It really doesn't happen a lot but whenever I'm angry, I'm not feeling guilty. I know why I feel this, it's just that I didn't have any other way to manage a situation/feeling. I'll just strive to do better next time by trying to modify the situation so that anger will not be the most probable answer.

Do you find it weird? Anyone adopting this kind of behavior? Maybe everyone does. It may sound a bit megalomaniac, like hey I'm exceptional, but it really isn't what I mean. To my own eyes, I'm not a bad or a good person. I'm just trying to be what I want. If somebody tries to be someone different, it's all fine by me.

TL;DR : Is having high moral standards for one's self weird or toxic? Does my message actually sound megalomaniac?

[–] needthosepylons@lemmy.world 6 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

My current activities : -Finding caring doctors for an elderly woman

-Counsel colleagues at my work about mental health and/or unionization

-Help two refugees friends for their paperwork for citizenship.

I wish I could do more, but on top of work, I'm already exhausted.

[–] needthosepylons@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (5 children)

I'm not a US citizen, but considering the current global trend, isn't it also possible that the West is slowly but surely turning to fascism again?

I couldn't care less about the democratic party, so not trying to find excuses but everything I read about the US election reminds me of everything I read about... well.. most European elections in the past 10 years.

Sadly, this hits too close to home

 

Source : am French and have been laughing about this since I was 8yo. Recently read about the prefect response and it's now even better.

38
On prison abolition (lemmy.world)
submitted 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) by needthosepylons@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
 

You're a prison abolitionist. You're in a high stakes discussion where you have to answer seriously and be convincing.

Someone asks you : "yeah, but what are we to do with people breaking the law, then? What will you replace prisons with ?"

What will you answer?

Edit : Thanks a lot for your answer, they were very interesting and reflecting different ways to frame a world without prisons.

Except from one or two edgelord hot takes, of course.

17
A story beside (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by needthosepylons@lemmy.world to c/games@lemmy.world
 

Today, I'd like to recommend everyone who likes a deep and tragic story to take a look at A Story Beside.

As a disclaimer, I am not affiliated at all with the studio or promo. None of that. I don't even have a yt channel to promote.

I just happened to play this game 2 years ago and it still haunts me with both joy and sadness.

To make it clear how much I loved it : I played it on the high seas, finished it, knew I was never going to play it again (for me, that's the kind of story based/narrative game you only play once), and still bought it on Steam the day after and bought it for a few friends.

While the gameplay is simple and the gfx are nothing to write home about (rpg maker, my first game of the kind), the story is superb and highly emotional. It has a simple point and click interface (definitely NOT my type of games), choices with heavy consequences and mostly non genderlocked romance, IIRC.

But what cracked my heart the most us the VA. It's beautiful behind words, haunting and powerful. It made me understand how VA is important in a game. Some sentences from this game are still with me to this day and randomly pop in my thoughts.

So do yourself a favor and play this one of these days.. Just make sure you have someone you trust close enough, because it can be really heartbreaking sometimes. Or beautiful. Or happy. Depends on your perspective.

Edit : typo in the title of the post >.<

P. S. : If I had one criticism about this game, it would be that some choices are quite obscure. A little thing you said, did or forgot to do at one point can have cataclysmic consequences later on, and it can be frustrating because back then, you didn't even know you were making a choice. I started blind, got a heartbreaking story event, restarted from the beginning with a guide to avoid the.. err.. bad endings.

 
 
 
 

Hello everyone I am an avid practitioners of martial arts. Started with Judo and Jiu Jitsu. Then my health and phisical condition degraded due to external causes. I switched to Aikido for three years and now Tai chi chuan, which I am now strongly committing to.

Aside from obvious positive effects (balance and agility) I wonder what you all think about inner martial arts.

I tend to ingest as little taoist folklore as I can, not because I think it's not interesting, but I want to avoid the exotic sounding mysticism tailored to impress westerners as a kind of new age marketing strategy. Fortunately, my teacher is a medical doctor working in the field of work related injuries.

I know I love Tai Chi Chuan and I truly mean to get better at it, but I can't ignore all the... weird stuff connected to it (no, Mr. Grand Master, I refuse to think that you single handedly pushed 10 people by the power of chi mastery). At the same time, I've been impressed by how, sometimes, finding adequate balance can make you able to sustain a strong push without even making active use of muscular strength.

So Il just wondering how you feel about this (or the other) inner martial art.

For me, it's a demanding and rewarding practice, full of great health and self discipline benefits and a few truly impressive perks, but with a..weird decorum I can't begin to understand.

 

Do people trust Ghidra? How come it's been developed by the NSA? From an outsider perspective, that sounds so weird!

Thanks in advance to anyone able to enlighten me!

 

Omg, I suppose ERB was producing their Biden VS Trump rematch video when the democratic nominee changed. That means we may not get an electoral battle this cycle. My day is ruined.

22
submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by needthosepylons@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
 

Why do it seems that pedophilia is, nowadays, percieved as the most vicious crime, along with terrorism? Why not, for example, sexual assault?

I mean it as an actual question, but first I should clarify my intent :

-I'm not advocating for normalizing pedophilia

-I have been a victim of it myself. Luckily, I've mostly recovered from it and live a happy life.

-Because of my political commitments, which are totally unrelated to this question, I've met some old people from the 70s who advocated for the depenalization of consensual sex between minors and adults (if such a thing exist, which can legitimately be doubted).

-I'm friend with one of them but I could never understand how that idea came to their minds. She knows I oppose the very idea. But it got me curious.

What I want to ask is, what, in contemporary history, contributed to make pedophilia the #1 vicious crime, surpassing rape in most consciences (if I'm not mistaken), in your opinion?

Feel free to delete this if that's not acceptable. Also, I didn't include the word "pedophilia" in the title to avoid triggering people who may have such experiences.

 

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