Asklemmy

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A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

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If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

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founded 5 years ago
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submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by Cloak@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
 
 

There's been an influx of content surrounding lemmy here. Some of it is open ended:

  • "What kinds of things from reddit would you like to see Lemmy avoid as the user base grows?"
  • "Lemmy, what do you call users of Lemmy?"

And these are a-ok! There's also been a lot of questions like

  • "How do I block a user?"
  • "How do I join a community on a different instance"

These aren't open ended (at least, relatively). They are objective based, and just need a resolution, rather than discussion. These sort of questions are more relevant to !lemmy_support@lemmy.ml.

I know there's also questions like "What are you guys doing when there’s multiple communities for the same thing across instances?". I'm inclined to let those stay, there is lots of opportunity for discussion. It's a game of discretion from a moderation perspective, but I assume most can easily guess what is cold hard support.

At least from me, moderation of support posts has been sporadic at best, despite the long standing rule. I will begin redirecting these questions to !lemmy_support@lemmy.ml, however I'm of course willing to listen to the community here if that's not what is wanted, as well as other feedback.

edit: support posts will now be removed, not locked

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Notepad++ - This piece of software is a very advanced form of Notepad. Fuck that basic Notepad shit that Windows or any other OS gives you. This one is all you'll ever need for basic note-taking needs. But it does a hell of a lot more. One thing I love about it is that, if for any reason I put my PC to sleep, it crashes, power outage, I can run this again and everything I've ever written and no matter how many tabs - it's all retained.

AIMP - The definitive media player that you'll ever need for just playing stuff (music only, sorry if I mislead those thinking it can do video). Winamp and all the other software are just around for nostalgia (though Winamp has it's uses where you need it to play specific formats like video game music such as SNES with .SPC). One feature that attracted me to it was, it used to infuriate me when I am playing something and something crashes in any other media player. And you boot up that media player and you have to play your playlist all over again or that song from the beginning.

Not AIMP, if I accidentally close it, crash or whatever, I can bring it back up and it'll have the song or whatever on Pause so I can resume. Why isn't shit like this more implemented in software?

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For desktop computers, either Windows or Linux. Windows on my main computer since I rely on so much Windows-only software (MS Office, Many Games) despite the BS that Microsoft does to windows in new versions, but Linux has gotten way better lately, especially as it picks up new users as Windows declines. MacOS to me the worst of both worlds when it comes to lack of software support and corporate BS

For Mobile, definitely Android. Android is what I wish Linux was for Desktop computers; Loads of software you can get from many places, open source, and not locked down. It's mainly the way it is because for Mobile OS's, Microsoft was spending too much resources shooting itself in the foot with the Zune than to make the necessary improvements to make Windows Mobile to be competitive, and by the time they realized their mistake it was too late. iOS is such a pain in the ass for me to use due to how locked down it is, and while it has more software support than MacOS, its locked down nature and being mostly restricted to getting software from Apple means that several apps that I rely on (including a few apps not on the Google Play store) will never be available for iOS. I also like to see where every single file on my phone actually is

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Without a doubt a 1970s rockstar

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Prove me wrong that there is something worse than "Learn & Discover Home"

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How do you think the world would react to your selection?

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This guy's dad is the former VP of a multibillion dollar Turkish conglomerate, as well as the secretary of a government department. Mom and Dad were able to fly to their other home in NJ to give birth so he'd get US citizenship. His uncle is the founder and owner of TYT Media and gave him his media career. He went to Rutgers. He lives in a multimillion dollar mansion in the Hollywood Hills. This is by definition not the kind of person who can be a voice of the People. Saying "I recognize my privilege" over and over, while living his lifestyle, doesn't negate his privilege and complete lack of real-life experience outside of the curated garden of the wealthy. He gets paid obscene amounts of cash to sit in his bedroom and word-vomit for 9 hours a day. Why are his unending opinions taken so seriously? He gives me strong controlled opposition vibes.

Edit: Thank you all for this discussion. I learned a lot.

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I know nothing about Pokémon; it completely skipped me somehow growing up in the 90s. Now, my nephew is asking for Pokémon card packs for Christmas. I looked on Amazon, since I'll need to ship anyway, but was royally confused by colors and boosters and foils.

He has like a dozen cards now, but wants more to play with friends at school.

What the hell am I supposed to be looking for?

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With copilot included in Professional-grade Office 365 and some politician claiming that their government should use AI to be more efficient. I am curious on whether some of you did use "AI" to get some productive things done. Or if it's still mostly a toy for you.

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I would like to mention that I do not intend to open new bank accounts, so yeah...

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I use Gboard, as I'm on Android.

Do you use Gboard or the clipboard feature? Or use a similar feature of an other keyboard app?
Do you use apps like NetGuard or TrackerControl to restrict net access to the keyboard apps?

Have tried some FOSS apps some years ago, but didn't stay on them because, Malayalam(my mother tongue) and the handwriting mode(which is quite good), is not available in most other apps.

I had thought about turning on the clipboard history option and am thinking about the privacy/security aspect behind it. As per Gboard, it remembers history for 1 hour and there seems to be no sync option. So it seems sort-of safe. Thinking about such things since I do copy-paste OTP's.

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Seriously i have zero idea what is going on with bluesky. I never used it. Why are people saying it's centralised? I also heard that a lot of people are joining it.

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The dollar can be used once a day. It has to be a dollar's worth of a product, service or use of a product. For example, A dollar's worth of a $100 TV would be the life of the TV divided by 100. You would get to enjoy the TV for that amount of time. The product or service is instant and doesn't require any preparation. It just appears and disappears. Or you could have a TV permanently that is worth one dollar.

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Why is it that compared to other mental illness's like depression, ADHD, autism and anxiety people seem to be so hostile to NPD? I always see things about 'mental health awareness' yet this is never applied to personality disorders.

Just look up "narcissism", "NPD" or "narcissistic personality disorder" and the results are about how dangerous people with NPD are and how to spot somebody with NPD or if your ex boyfriend is a narcissist etc... etc...

I was watching this video earlier by a YouTube user 'ShortFatOtaku' called "Low IQ Twitter Discourse Awards!" and there was this one guy on twitter who said that if you claim advocate for the mentally ill you such do so with personality disorders as well. A statement I completely agree with:

https://youtu.be/3EJedJ8MhNA YouTube

ShortFatOtaku response with "wow your going to let that narcissist kill you and take everything from you?" I shouldn't have to explain how bad faith and unhinged that is.

Why do people think this way about narcissists? Having NPD doesn't make someone an inherently bad person. As someone who has NPD I haven't abused or manipulated anyone ever. Sure, I struggle with empathy, I have to make an effort to think about other people and ok I have a never ending need for validation but that doesn't mean I'm a bad person I understand I have a problem I didn't choose to be like this. Manipulation and grandiosity are awful traits that I have but they don't define me. I'm a good friend, I'm a good sister, I'm a good coworker and there are people out there who benefit from my existence. NPD doesn't have to define me I'm more then my diagnosis.

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What would be a good game(s) for Lemmy users to start a group and play? I get people like different things, but it should be FOSS or free and accessible to anyone on Lemmy.

In short, something fun, MULTIPLAYER , and approachable for all ages. Not AAA or fees, and needs to be casual.

Possible to form a Lemmy group and pick a few games to rotate.

Respond with creative ideas and suggestions.

If for some reason you think this is a terrible idea please express it with an explanation, so it can be remedied rather than dismissed.

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submitted 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) by terminator2@mander.xyz to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
 
 

One day, I was about to install RedReader through F-droid. For some reason I searched for "Reddit" in the search bar instead of "RedReader" and saw Voyager, Jerboa and some other Lemmy clients there.

I got curious and installed "Eternity for Lemmy". I browsed around, then decided to created my first account on lemmy.ml. Instantly fell in love with how nice most people were, how quickly I got answers and replies and the closely-knit feeling of a small community where it's not surprising to see the same user in many different places.

I found Lemmy and decentralized social media by sheer luck.

I know most of you came here after the reddit API changes to spite the corporate site, but I wonder if there are other stories.

P.S. I find it sort of weird how lemmy.ml censors the word for "female dog". Cmon, that's such a tame and common insult! Can't even quote Jesse Pinkman properly.

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Dear friends, please be kind with me and help after reading full post for context. I really thought this one would be different. We met several months ago, started off as friends, and he's been giving me mixed signals from the start, partially due to intense career related demands. He's under a lot of stress at this turning point in his career - as am I, though not to the same extent. However, this confusing push and pull has been hurting me - more than it's bothering him, if I may add.

Example of mixed signals: Months before we got swamped with work, he asked me point blank if I'm single and I said yes. A few weeks later, we left an event together late at night and he hugged me for the 1st time, invited me over for water which I politely declined, and asked me to text him when I got home which I did. Then, nothing happened for some time and I initiated a group get-together, to which he agreed but called me "mom" as I'm the only female in this group with his bros. This is a point of insecurity as he alluded to me being quite older - even though I'm only two years older. I did appreciate that he admitted to not having an official relationship before. He also calls me "bro" or "dude", claiming it slips out. A few weeks later, we had a call since I needed to confide in him about a peer; he was understanding/supportive.

Then work severely ramped up, and I waited weeks, not reaching out and trying to give us both space. We bumped into each other, then I hinted that we were going separate directions if heading home, to which he said he's going for a run. I said that sounds fun, and we brainstormed other date-like ideas of what to do (mostly me being excited about it). I realized this clearly wasn't him asking me on a date, as he invited his friend to join last minute for the run...He did mention that the earliest he will start dating is after this strenuous work period which goes until mid-December. A week later, I reached out to see if he was attending an event; he declined but his friends showed up. That's when I thought I should get over him as it was going nowhere and hurting me. We didn't talk/see each other for over a month, and I was nearly over it. He is so rarely the one to rekindle the flame, and I find that I'm investing in him repeatedly, double-texting, etc, although he does show up here and there. Then we bumped into each other at an event where he split a cookie with me, asking me what my weekend plans were. I had a swamped schedule so I said maybe the 1-week break that we had coming up right after that weekend instead. I was hoping he would follow up, he didn't, and I was exhausted of continuously bearing the weight so I took some alone time. Weeks later, I bumped into him again and gave him a sweet, intimate hug to try to spell it out to him that I haven't given up. He hugged me back and seemed receptive.

I finally decided to plan a get-together for this same group (him and his friends). Over the months, I already chatted with his friend, hinting at my feelings, but not asking him to talk about this with my crush directly. His friend seems supportive and said that we would be a cute couple. His other friend also told me directly that he thinks we would be cute together. They all showed up but I was thrown off when he was cracking inappropriate sexual jokes and acting like I was a bro...It was so weird and not what I expected at all. I get that they were deprived of social events and maybe felt comfortable thinking up sexual innuendos, but it was relentless. We also saw each other at events the next 2 consecutive days, both of which I asked if he was attending. There were other people there too so he was much more mature and composed. He and his friend picked a guy to match me with, I said he's not my type, to which my crush asked "who is your type?" but I didn't get a chance to respond because his friend interrupted. Right after that, he called me bro again, and I asked him straight up "Do you see me as a bro?" He clammed up and seemed like he wanted to say something more, but just said "What?" with a smile after a silence, and I said "What?" back. At one point, we were almost cuddling and his voice got cute/soft; he initiated a hug late that night. Still unsure of his feelings, I decided to put myself out there and figured we waited long enough. I called him 3 days later. He didn't pick up and texted an hour later: "hey what's up sorry for missing your call". I texted back "no worries just wanted to say hi and chat, we can catch up when you're free". He ghosted me, not a word or reaction to my text. He then proceeded to say Happy Holidays in our group chat after his friend did (I think he may have told him what happened and sought help). I saw someone post photos of him happy at an event, while I was crying at home wondering what I did to deserve his silent treatment.

I'm not naive when it comes to relationships. I get that he's inexperienced and somewhat immature, currently emotionally unavailable, probably wanting time to process his own thoughts/feelings, not the person I thought he was, or maybe I'm a hopeless romantic. But I do not understand why it's so damn difficult for someone who is supposed to be my good friend, with some silver lining for more, to send me a 2-second text saying he's busy but maybe another time. That text would be better than leaving me in the dark, speculating if he will come to his senses and call/text, or do nothing and let me down. I was so bummed, on the holiday no less.

Is it time to let him go? Is there any hope for a relationship here or am I kidding myself? Which one of the reasons do you think is causing him to ghost me? Should I text him again, explaining how it feels on the receiving side, or just let it be? There's a really special event in the springtime that I've wanted him to be at - should I stay friends with him after giving myself time/space to get over him or focus on inviting others? Thank you!

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Before anyone gets the wrong idea, no, I'm not talking about the movie/show The Watchmen. I'm referring to the ancient philosophical question "quis custodiet ipsos custodes" or "who watches the watchmen". Go read up on that elsewhere.

For those of you who don't know and need a summary here, it's a question often posed in reference to the fact that the person or people in charge of making sure the rules are honored have nothing preventing them from disobeying the rules. There's never anything preventing the person guarding your treasure from stealing some of the treasure, for example.

What's the best remedy to this that you can think of?

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