Grogon

This might sound harsh but honestly atleast my life is really underwhelming, no matter what I try.

I have a wife, 2 dogs, an own house but a decently large debt for the house so I actually dont own it yet and a job I love (nightshift nurse)

It feels like I fckd everything up.

10 years ago my wife and I were in South East Asia, traveling,... now? I have to take care of the house, pay my credit, work

Its not the same going to Thailand only 2 weeks a year. I know many ppl cant afford it but I need that escape.

While my life isnt actually bad it just is bland though. I dont do anything other than play Video games, take care of house and dogs, watch movies, cook stuff...

But where is the excitement?

I quit going to gym, I think I should do that but I catch myself esther staring at the wall than searching for a nearby gym.

As a night nurse I have so much time in the day I would like to barista at a cafe but Im too scared to start that.

I would like to play Board games but my friends rather drink alcohol in Clubs and the next DND or Boardgame groups are 40 minutes by car.

See hpw confused I am I cant even structure this post properly.

I know money isn everything but Id travel the world, give my house away to rent, buy a new smaller house in a few years, do more sport, ... somehow it feels life is behind a huge paywall and I have enough to have a decent life.

If I go to Thailand next year I have thoughts in my head like: "This money could be used to pay credit debt instead, or yard stuff, kitchen supply,..." With money I could enjoy it more

It seems Trump is building his team for 2024 like he’s assembling the ultimate rogue’s gallery. The latest picks are big on controversy, light on restraint, and feel like they’d fit right in with some of the baddest names in the comics. Let’s take a look at the lineup so far:

Tom Homan – Imagine Kingpin in charge of immigration. Homan’s tough-guy approach to enforcing the law is as subtle as a steamroller, and his zero-tolerance policies are enough to make Wilson Fisk proud.

Elon Musk – Yep, Lex Luthor vibes are strong here. Musk has all the billionaire smarts, risky schemes, and questionable ethics to bring a touch of mad-scientist energy to this new cabinet. Only time will tell what kind of “big ideas” he’ll bring to the table, but we’re bracing ourselves.

Pete Hegseth – Red Skull energy? Check. Hegseth’s fierce patriotism and bold rhetoric definitely give off a ‘no-holds-barred’ vibe. The kind of guy who’d be a bit too intense in any other setting, which probably makes him the perfect fit here.

Kristi Noem – Enter Poison Ivy. Charismatic, persuasive, and as sharp as her thorns. Noem’s got a reputation for holding her ground and charming the masses, and she’s not about to let anyone get in the way of her agenda.

At this rate, Trump’s 2024 team is shaping up to be a full-on supervillain squad. Next recruit predictions: Doctor Doom? Green Goblin? We’re all tuning in to see who’ll join the dark side next!

TIFU by thinking I can just use one drive and upload the albums one by one and downloading them and then deleting them.

Well I actually kept doing it until I noticed the synch was not only deleting the one drive file it was also deleting my albums that were synched at the same time.

Now I have to recover 40 Albums because I didn't check what was going on while doing this whole thing.

Now I have to recover them all and while doing so I noticed it has wrong date/ time now.

Pro tip: You should synch your fotos with one drive, download the photos, UNSYNCH again and then delete.

I havent played since 3 seasons.

I have all Lilith Statues and the whole map uncovered. I didn't do any side quests, waypoints etc... is that bad?

And I have both done on softcore and hardcore and usually play hardcore but not sure about raids. Play softcore this time?

If I quit my job and start searching for jobs that provide service to rich people, do I get more money as "tips"?

Just a plain example: If you clean in a 3* Hotel rooms you might find people tiping you about 5-10$/€ or whatever currency the country you work in has.

If I instead now work in hotels for royals, do they tip like 1000$/€,... because its nothing to them anyways?

Both seems kind of weird to me. If I were to have 50+ Million € on my account and earn X million € a year, would I still tip only 5 € to people who clean my hotel room or would I tip 1000 €? I'd somehow feel like I'd just tip a 1000 € anyways if I'd have that much money. Like what would I care.

On the other side tipping a thousand € would be weird to, because if that would be the case wouldn't everyone just work for the rich?

I noticed it myself though, the more wealthy I got the more money I "gave" to people for services. I remember backpacking through Thailand about 15 years ago as a poor student. I was like looking for the cheapest tuktuk driver, even if it was only a dollar less than the other tuktuk driver offered. Now if I go to Thailand I just throw them 5 € in the pocket and move on with my day cause I don't feel like talking about how much a ride would cost they can use the money to buy a snack after it and I make them happy.

At the same time if everyone would do this wouldn't the Thais start working for tourism only and abandon other jobs?

This topic has kind of 2 questions. Because if you tip to much you kill other jobs at the same time. You can't go to lets say Tansania and tip the luggage carriers 10 $ per luggage because sooner or later all the rangers in national parks would quit the jobs and go carry luggage around cause of more money. You know what I mean?

But I still have a weird feeling abut this topic. I would find it disrespectful if I would tip 5 € to room service if I were Taylor Swift. Do they tip at all? Tell me they tip. And if yes, do they only tip 5 €? That has to be weird to them. Do they even have 5 $ banknotes in the pocket lol.

Hey. I might be judging this Situation wrong but I feel like my wife cant do anything alone and she never leaves the house and I have no time for me.

Sorry but my phone is making capitel Letters cause english isnt my main language and sorry for Bad english.

My wife and I are 31 and been together 12 years. I love her.

Since a few years I notice how all her friends moved away, she failed her exams and has nothing. So I understand her Situation.

I noticed she cant do anything alone or always wants me to join in even though we spent the whole day together already.

She cant just bake a cake. She always ask if I can help and Im like sure okay and in the end all I do is messure sugar, melt butter... its like a thing Id do alone to unwind.

She wants to go eat ice in town. I say no I dont wsnt to and she is like "okay" and goes watching TV. I wsnt to play computer but feel bad because she is bored, watches no shows... all she does is watch garden tv where they build St.pid Pools lol.

If I were her Id go without "me" and unwind. Heck, if she wants to stsy home I go drink coffee alone or with friend and just scroll reddit and watch ppl. She cant. She stays home and waits til im done playing. The thing is I could play forever. My friends all play starcraft and overwatch.

But if I do play I cant enjoy it cause I have a wife a room next to me being bored. I feel like I have to entertain her.

She has no hobbies, all her friends moved away, she has no job,... and if I were hin her Position Id still be fine cause I have so much to do. I can go swim, watch ppl, do nothing, play games, read, cook etc and all alone. Sometimes I enjoy if Im alone which is rare.

This weekend she visits her friends and is gone til tomorrow and its sad because now I feel so free. I can sleep in without feeling bad, i can game all night. This morning I was in the local Spa and just sat in whirlpool 3 hours alone. It was so good knowing I can do all that without having the feeling to entertain someone waiting for me.

I feel so bad. I feel bad for wishing to live alone again or maybe wishing shed be gone atleast once a week. If I coulf only have like 1 or 2 days I wouldnzt see anyone id be happy. I mean no one. Im really happy alone, I can Bing watch shows or podcasts and be happy. Take my phone or pc and Id just go to the local coffee store and sit for 4 hours.

Maybe Im the problem because I feel like I dont need anyone. I love her though and cant wait til she comes back tomorrow but those 2 days are so nice.

Another random examples of what I mean:

1. She wants to cook and is hungry. Im not hungry and dont wanna cook. She eats cereal. If I were her Id still cook lol. Now I feel bad cause she is eating garbage cause I dont wanna cook and eat.

2. She wants to visit her parents. Okay, fine but I stay home. She: Ill go lay down

Mh okay? Now I cant go to the local coffee Shop and drink coffee cause she is sleeping cause I dont want to go to her parents. Okay I could go to the coffee Shop but I now know she is either joining, which is fine, but rather would go to her parents. I feel bad again.

3. Vacation. I ask where she wants to go this year, she says she doesnt care. I say mh ok... Thailand? She says "we were there last year" and Im like "yeah was nice" and now I know she doesnt want to go there but cant say a Different destination. Now Im stuck. I ask Malaysia. She says "maybe".

Wtf now I cant book a flight. I know she wants to go to Sri Lanka. Why cant she just say it???

I just need to get this off my chest because it’s been weighing on me. My daily routine feels like a never-ending loop of the same things, over and over again. Every day blends into the next with nothing exciting to break the cycle. I’ve tried to change things up, but even when I do, 90% of the time it still feels dull and uninspiring.

And it’s not like I haven’t tried. Over the last months and the past year, I’ve done a lot to shake things up: I got into rock climbing, went diving (though I have to travel further for that), tried arts, took different classes, learned a new language (Spanish), explored different coffee shops and bars. I’m doing so much, and yet, no matter what I try, everything just feels bland. The excitement fades fast, and I’m left feeling like I’m back at square one.

Honestly, I don’t need a doctor to tell me I’m depressed — I’m pretty sure I am, in some way. Even though it might not seem like it from what I’ve written, I genuinely love life. I just think it’s fair to say that I found more joy in life 10 years ago than I do now.

On top of that, the state of the world is messing with my head. The climate disaster is f*cking me up, too. It’s like this dark cloud that’s always looming in the back of my mind, with burning forests here, floods there, hurricanes here, and just constant environmental devastation. It’s a relentless reminder that things aren’t getting better. Technology isn’t helping either. I used to enjoy AI and new tech, but it’s gotten so overwhelming. Five years ago, I’d laugh at my mom for falling for fake calls or texts. Now I have to look for weird flaws in fingers, mouths, and eyes just to figure out if something is real or AI-generated.

And look at Flux — it’s just insane. The rapid advancement in AI tools like that makes it even harder to discern what’s real. It’s not just the fake calls and texts anymore; now we’re dealing with sophisticated AI that can generate incredibly realistic but entirely fabricated content. It feels like the line between reality and simulation is blurring more every day, and it’s exhausting to keep up with.

There are times when I honestly wish I wasn’t even born a human. Like, I’d rather be a bird or something else, just to escape this endless loop of dullness. And right now, I kind of wish I didn’t live here either. I know, when I go on vacation everything feels fine, and those moments are great. But I also know that the countries I visit aren’t some utopia either — they struggle too. It’s just easier to ignore when you’re only there for a little while.

And then there’s the feeling that everyone around me is so focused on themselves. It’s like people are caught up in their own lives, and I get it — life is hard for everyone. But it just adds to the isolation. No real connection, just people in their own bubbles.

Maybe I’ve just lost touch with what makes life exciting, or maybe I need something I haven’t figured out yet. But honestly, right now, life feels bland, and I’m not sure how to break out of it.

Anyone else ever feel like this? Or am I just going through the motions on my own?

Short summery of my experience:

• Tip tip tip tip tip
• Snorkel and dive Trips only 1 snorkel, eat fruit on Sandbank til next snorkel spot. All three stops are crowded asf.
• Even trying to avoid tours you end up in a Tour Trip with same as above (snorkel eat snorkel and then back)
• no beaches cause of low tide. High tide no visibility. You always require a friggin boat just to snorkel lol.
• expensive tours
• tiptiptiptiptip....
• feel locked up. Almost all hotels huge walls, security, ... Not comparable to SEA where you get a bike and drive around looking for the next beach, breakfast, dinner etc. .

Feels like america or too many americans came here teaching a flawed tip mentality. Most Services werent even tip worthy.

I know ppl are struggling but thanks I can carry my own luggage and save me a dollar tip.

Never again, worst Island I have been to. Koh Phi Phi is a dream against this.

In general this was my first and last time africa. Sri Lanka, India, Malaysia, Indonesia etc so much better.

Maybe I did it wrong. This whole Trip felt like a scam, especially mnembe Island. 1000 boats chasing poor dolphins I told him to turn around. 200 Dollar down the drain and no other snorkeling available duo to tide. Heck not even diving after 2 lol

Man I dunno what is going on lately. Sure I searched for a few things on "purpose of life" and those kind of things which might be the reason I am getting these recommendations.

It's weird though that millions of people are struggling with the same things I am currently struggling with. I'm at a point inbetween I shouldn't be depressive. I shouldn't feel bad at all. My job is great, have a wife and now my house is almost "done". I don't have kids (yet). Life couldn't be better... but now there is this "but".

I have absolutely zero energy. Even if I love climbing and would like to start again, I rather just scroll through youtube or stare at a wall. I noticed that I personally have zero problems in my life but all the people around me have problems that I feel like those are my problems too.

Best friend of mine is alcoholic. Because of him I search so much shi.t about how to deal with alcohol problems. My wife somehow can't get shi.t done either. She failed her exams after 4 years studying and now is jobless but starting a new job next month. My brother is a leech. He doesn't care about my mom and our grandma but now that my mom is getting the "house" he is asking to help her with fixing it up etc... he just wants the house one day. That is going to be a huge fight in 20 years already. My coworkers keep crying about how stressful work is. I love my job and I have no stress because the tasks are easy and dunno all I do is drink coffee at work cause I am bored after 4 hours while my coworkers struggle to get done in 8 hours. My mom and uncle aren't talking with each other anymore - he was an a*shole the whole life towards her. I only know what I have seen and it was bad. I can't confirm her stories, but I assume they gotta be true from what I have already seen myself happen.

TLDR: So much drama around me that it is eating me up and if I wouldn't have contact with other people I would be so happy.

Really I think the best thing in life is try to avoid people and be on your own. They only cause drama. Imagine if I had just bought a van and drove up to sweden 10 years ago instead of buying a house I could just escape these people, even though I love all of them.

I feel so drained by the drama around me that I can't do what I love. I use to play video games 12 hours a day and not give a f. If my future me could have told me when I was 10 years old playing World of Warcraft was when I peaked in life I wouldn't have believed him. Okay that was kind of harsh, I achieved a lot and worked a lot for what I have now and I am proud of me but the people around me are lost and that makes me depressive.

I can't watch my brother be a leech, my mom and her brother fighting, my wife not being able to work in her "dream" field anymore duo to failed exams at the age of 30. She is literally starting from scratch with nothing at 30 years old. My alcoholic friend... man I feel sorry for all of those people.

I really know that I am lucky to be in my position. But I feel like I can't enjoy my "luck" or what I "achieved" because of everyone being so "bad" in life around me... it makes me feel sad I can't celebrate anything I achieve. It's frustrating going to work finishing a huge project and all my coworkers bitc.h around: "Great now we gotta repeat this til we retire.".... I can't get home from work and be happy cause my wife is rock bottom. I can't go to my mom cause she has problems. My alcoholic friend is a problem. I have no one to go to and be "happy".

I wish I had a few people in my life that have no problems and just enjoy life. That would actually be my wife if she didn't fail exams because she is the best person I know. I really wish she gets a better oppertunity.

My youtube feed is full of videos of being a better person, learning how to give 0 fcks, "mindset changing life" etc. The whole search feed is screwed and thinks I am a wrecked person eventhough I am just searching and googling for stuff about other people.

Okay this might sound weird but I work only nightshifts because I love the night and I do it since 4 years.

I wish I would have done it earlier cause I was never able to sleep at night before my morning shifts etc. and now I feel so good with this job. It's relaxing, it's a fun job and the best: I have no co workers in my shift I work alone.

For many this sounds like a nightmare but no management, only getting a 5 minute report from day shift is so nice.

Either way... I slept the first time in a fresh made bed after my nightshift for the very first time.

I usually make the bed fresh and my wife sleeps in it and then I get home to a yucky warm used bed. Some like it, I do too but nothing is better than laying down in a freshly made bed that smells so fresh and is cold.

My wife went to work and I took the time to take off all the bed sheets and made a new bed. At this point I might be crazy but I think I'm gonna change this task to "morning" task in the future. Why should I change the bed sheets but never be able to experience that fresh bed? If I only do it in the morning so I get to experience it would that be considered toxic? Would you guys care?

It's the little things in life I cherrish the most. A fresh unused bed is so underrated.

Hey.

I never lived in a city, not talking about the huge cities like London but average 50.000 to 150.000 people cities so I figured I'd ask people on here who actually lived in a city.

I grew up in a small town and now I built a home in a few miles away from where I grew up in another smaller town and everything would be cool if I wouldn't have "fomo".

My town has about 1000 people living and the next larger city has about 500.000 people (40 minute drive by car or 1 hour by train). And two other smaller cities with each about 75.000 people but only 25 minute drive by car.

Now that my wife and I have settled I can't get rid of fomo feeling.

I catch myself thinking "man if would have built in the city,..." but my wife is right. We can't afford property in a city and heck, even if we could afford it there is no property left to buy. And then when I visit the city to go shopping for clothes or just eat out I am always glad I can leave again.

But than I wake up the next day and would think it would be awesome to have a gym in the same block, a grocery store under my flat, a nice bar or coffee around the corner where I could socialize with others. But then my wife comes again with reality: "And it all costs money. You'd be broke two days after paycheck if you live in the city how you live in it while you visit it" and then she explains that life in the city isn't all that great and I ain't missing out because most people aren't more social in cities than in our town or small city next to our town.

I imagine city life kind of vibrant though. "Hey let's host a boardgame night" and 10 people showing up. But it might not be like how I imagine it? Is city life kind of overrated or am I missing out?

I go to the bigger city maybe once a month to go shopping for clothes I can't get here. Like for example the skater shop a few brands. A few friends and I also take the train every half a year to party a night out but take the train back home. There are many things I also don't like about the city, for example sometimes the smell, the homeless, the traffic, and I sometimes think I'd still need a car because of groceries, visiting family in the country side where I live now so I couldn't sell my car anyways. Now that I have "settled" I shouldn't be thinking about this anyways but there is always this feeling I am missing something. Maybe I should have lived in a city just for a year to experience it before building, but I never had the desire to. I was always happy leaving the city and I still am happy when I can leave after a whole day in the city but maybe I'd like it longer if I'd live in it?

This feels like a topic I am going to ignore til I am 85 and then add to a list of things I regret: "Never experienced city life when I was young".

The only thing that makes me feel good though is that all my friends that currently live in cities are searching for property out of the city and want to move back where we all grew up and all of them saying I didn't miss anything. My wife is also saying it, so I guess they might be kind of right. I am saying "kind of right" because this might be something that only one can judge for him/herself if city is good or bad. I feel like I have no opinion on this subject and this makes me crazy.

Edit: The only big city life experience I had was three months traveling through South East Asia where I stayed like a week in Bangkok and I remember many nights in Kao San Road partying. But that ain't anything one can do every day in the city especially if you work. That was like vacation city experience and I sure do know I was glad when I left Bangkok. The next city experience I had was Saigon (Ho Chi Minh City) in Vietnam which was okay but I left it after day 3 feeling drained. The best experience I had was in Singapore. But I figure after reading all about Singapore that no city in my country could keep up with Singapore. I think I'd like living in Singapore more than in Bangkok or Saigon lol. But even Singapore was really busy...

I was trying to Lucid Dream a few years ago and forgot about this topic and the last days I have been trying to provoke it.

I also work nightshift only since a few years and quit using it because I never had issues sleeping after work but now I threw in 3 mg of Melatonin and what else can I say other than I had the most lucid dream ever in my life.

It felt so real. Normally I get scared after looking into the mirror of my bathroom because it was pitch black and had no reflection. Numbers never made sense either. So while I knew all that I ran to the bathroom and looked into the mirror knowing it won't show reflections and started laughing "It worked".

It's a funny subject to me because everytime I watched the youtube videos and read on the internet I was like "weirdos" and now I can't wait to go back to sleep tomorrow night.

I have a feeling though it was a one time experience. Especially if I don't use melatonin.

Anyone else have had lucid dreams? Perhaps someone doing it daily?