this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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(page 5) 50 comments
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[–] nthavoc@lemmy.today 1 points 6 days ago

That's when you pull Nick Swarsdson's wrist watch bit. "Hey man I can't read my watch, can you read my watch?"

[–] Mechaguana@programming.dev 1 points 6 days ago

"Sweet that means someone in need could get a car!"

[–] Mechaguana@programming.dev 1 points 6 days ago

"Sweet that means someone in need could get a car!"

[–] lagoon8622@sh.itjust.works 1 points 6 days ago

"Cool; I'll just take it right over to the pawn shop then"

[–] noxypaws@pawb.social 1 points 6 days ago

"Oh that's cute, does it have a Spring Drive tho?"

Oh cool. Mine is made out of wood and leather and cost ten bucks. I've had it for two decades and my dad had it for four. It's really comfortable and loses a second a decade. How's yours do?

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 0 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Smile really big and start laughing. Maintain the smile, maintain eye contact.

[–] Legisign@europe.pub 0 points 6 days ago

“Why would I own a car? Our public transportation works fine. Or a watch, since I can already see the time from my mobile phone.”

[–] ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca -3 points 6 days ago

Calling someone a fairy is a quick way to win an argument

[–] iii@mander.xyz 281 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (7 children)

The classic "OK boomer" still gets them angry, if that's what you're after

[–] Windex007@lemmy.world 88 points 1 week ago (15 children)

This is right, where every other comment in this thread is wrong.

Don't take the bait.

Even just a flat OK is better than taking the bait. Honestly, silence is better.

Do you care? Then you are poor and mad.

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[–] Lupus@feddit.org 137 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"Interesting, may I see?" And when they hold their wrist up to you, inspect it closely, then lick it, make some faces like a wine connoisseur, shake your head and say :"It's fake" turn around and disengage.

[–] agent_nycto@lemmy.world 117 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Heh, amateur hour. Let me show you my watch.

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[–] dwindling7373@feddit.it 117 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 15 points 1 week ago

A power move when you know they know you have a car and it's literally parked right outside

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[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 100 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] Korne127@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago

Ok; good for you?

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 68 points 1 week ago

If you need to point out the watch and explain its value, you've already lost.

[–] Theprogressivist@lemmy.world 66 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"Well, the jerk store called, and they're running out of you!"

[–] blinfabian@feddit.nl 25 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"What's the difference? You're their all-time bestseller!"

[–] Theprogressivist@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"Oh yeah?! Well... I slept with your wife!"

[–] blinfabian@feddit.nl 17 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I also choose this guys wife

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[–] Console_Modder@sh.itjust.works 56 points 1 week ago (4 children)

You see this? This is called a "smart phone." Not only will this tell me the time like your watch, but it can also do a bunch of other things. I can look at pictures of raccoons wearing silly hats or I can use it to insult someone on the other side of the planet. It also cost a fraction of what your watch cost. I'm sorry to tell you this, but I think it should go and get your money back. It sounds like you've been scammed. As a matter of fact, let me give you my friend's phone number. He's an accountant, and I think he'll be able to help stop you from making stupid purchases in the future.

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[–] axh@lemmy.world 43 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Does 0 to 60 in ONE minute! It's garbage.

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[–] moonlight@fedia.io 35 points 1 week ago (5 children)

And it tells the same time as a $5 Casio, but it's heavy and gaudy. I guess money can't buy taste.

[–] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 27 points 1 week ago (2 children)

And it tells the same time as a $5 Casio

Assuming the fancy watch is mechanical, your $5 Casio keeps better time with a quartz chip.

If it's not mechanical then it's basically the same device with an expensive shell.

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[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 20 points 1 week ago

You paid that much for a watch that looks like you steal from your grandad?

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago

laughs gently and sighs

"This is a six ounce cup of bath water from a YouTube influencer..."

[–] the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago

"It's not my fault you're stupid"

[–] sad_detective_man@leminal.space 12 points 1 week ago (4 children)

get really really enthusiastically interested in the watch. ask for details seem super impressed. massage that wealthy ego to the point of basically a blow job. but then just like keep going. see how long you can keep the topic on that one specific watch. don't ever let him talk about anything that the watch means or about the dynamic he tried to establish.

optionally, loose interest and leave without ever having let anything be said that wasn't about the watch. this is how you weaponize autism against egotists.

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[–] bluesheep@lemm.ee 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Man, it is a shame you can't buy class because you could use some.

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[–] toomanypancakes@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

I'd just start laughing and point at them.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

"mine was 5 bucks at goodwill, sounds like you got scammed, sorry"

[–] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

good, maybe you can sell it to buy some human decency then

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