Well trained human.
this post was submitted on 31 May 2025
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Im sorry dave, im afraid I cant do that
The first question is how did it get out while you were sleeping?
You ever had a cat? When unobserved quantum state takes over and they are everywhere and nowhere at once.
Screen doors and old storm doors from the 80s are also notoriously bad at keeping a fat orange cat inside when the brain cell is too busy to understand the barriers to keep the outside out also are meant to keep the inside in.
My cat got half-way up the tree in our yard, and then slowly shimmied down by hanging and swinging between the two main branches. He’s never gone up again once though.
My Dad was a firefighter fpr 35 years, and his go-to line when someone wanted help gettong a cat down was, "Have you ever seen a cat skeleton in a tree?"
Well it's not being in a tree that kills you
Mine went missing for a day, and then at 2am a neighbor started pounding on the door - was this our cat wailing keeping them awake?
So I climbed about 30' up a pine tree in my boxers, in the dark, unwrapped the cat from the tree, wrapped it around my bare chest (it's terrified fully extended claws made this a snap, right into my flesh) and down we went.
She never tried that again, but did enjoy annual escapes onto the roof until the arthritis got too bad.
Why didn't you put some clothes on before climbing? Personally, the pine sap and cat claws would be a pretty big motivator for me to wear clothes.
Brains don't work great at 3am. Less so when a beloved feline is potentially in danger.
A couple people here have suggested wet food to lure the cat down, but when mine found a spot abouve the cabinets that was much easier to get up than down that solution crossed my mind for only an instant before I realized it would probably only take one more go for him to realize there's a huge incentive to risking injury.
He would do this thing when he was angry where he would howl like a dog to make sure everyone within earshot understood the severity of whatever great injustice had taken place, and not taking him down when he wanted to be was definitely one of those cases. I'd give him maybe an hour to get his screaming in before getting around to helping him.
My cat Parker ran up the tree out front. I just looked at him and said "ok fuckface, see you when you decide to come down".
He could sense my tone of voice, and just shimmied his ass back down. It was hilarious.
And before that he was thinking "Come 'rescue' me, you poor fuck."
Oh yeah, he was totally in rascally play mode. I love rascally play mode, but not when it's bring out a ladder and go through the motions of rescue play mode LOL
I had never seen a cat's ass just wiggle itself backwards down a tree before, always more of a "suicide dive" while kind of running down the trunk, and then sprint to safety when they land
I guess Parker could sense when I started to turn my back on him that I was not having any of it that day lol
The cat got up there, the cat can get down.
I have tried to help cats in the past, and it usually end with me being more stuck than they looked to be, and them casually jumping away. Those pricks can fix their own problems.
Just open a can of tuna and put it on the floor. 9 times out of 10 the "stuck" cat will happily come down.
Have you seen the price of tuna lately?!?
Unopened empty can of tuna also works. Those idiots can't read
Unopened empty can of tuna
I call shenanigans!
Haven't ever seen a dead cat in a tree or on a roof in my life. Some folks need to let nature be nature.
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If this is regular height roof the cat can simply jump down and land on its feet, or it can use the drainage pipe for support. In my experience cats always check very carefully whether they can come down prior to climbing up. Only exception might be kittens.
Were we the only family that said "the cat will be fine" in literally every scenario? She's gonna fuck off for a day. She's on the roof. She's sleeping in the engine bay of the car. Who cares? She's a cat. She died quietly in her sleep at 16 years old by the way.
I got goaded as a kid to get a cat off a tree. My uncle scolded me because you should'nt do that or the cat will never learn.
That made me laugh so hard but makes sense also
He got so much attention, love and affection the last time he was up there, no wonder he did it again.
Was redoing the floors in one my rooms, I had all the air vent covers off. Guess where the cat decided to go?
Was like the god damn scene from poltergeist where you could hear it all over the house but didn't know where exactly the meows orginated from echoing through the ductwork.
I forgot how I coaxed it to an exit, but I do recall grabbing it by the scruff and yanking it out as the cat tried to scamper back in. Went to go clean-up my scratches and the damn thing knocked over what I blocked the vent with and squeezed back in.
At that point I was tempted to just turn on the furnace heat and call it a day. But didn't want to deal with the stink.
We had a similar experience with our cat when she was a kitten. Got in the ceiling through our little maintenance closet, was quite an experience hearing our cat pacing and meowing in the ceiling, while trying to lure it back to the way it got in with taps and treats.
Should have put a second cat in there to chase the first one out
CAT in the wall, ehhh??
Nah, just grease up a Scotsman.
That's the beauty of it. When wintertime rolls around the Scotsman in the walls simply freezes to death.
May even nedd a third or fourth.
I'm sorry I'm imagining my big orange dummy doing this and I can't stop giggling
just open a can of wet food and the cat will crawl to you like solid snake
I wonder if AC would work. Make the cat so uncomfortable it would want to leave
I see no God up here. BUT ME.
The cat after being brought down: aw shit here we go again
You after seeing your cat got back on the roof: aw shit here we go again
Op learned something that day.
This looks like an especially bog boi. Say, 8 kilos?
Yeah he's jacked.
Cat shouldn't be outside to begin with.
It must be exhausting being you.
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cute fat ass
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