this post was submitted on 26 May 2025
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Dad Jokes

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This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

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[–] Moah@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 17 hours ago

In french we say "c'est caïman la même chose" (a very approximate word play between "quasiment" (almost) and "caïman" (caiman)

[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 60 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Aligators will "see you later."

[–] HowAbt2morrow@futurology.today 43 points 4 days ago

And crocodiles will do the same, but “in a while” and with smile.

[–] ZDL@ttrpg.network 12 points 4 days ago

And their counterparts "in a while".

[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago

Left is Alligator, Right is Crocodile.

The trick is that Alligators have A shaped Angular snouts and Crocodiles have C shaped snouts, except that's actually wrong and it's literally backwards.

[–] countrypunk@slrpnk.net 33 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Crocs are usually more pointy looking and angular than gators. Crocs are also much more dangerous.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 36 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I assure you, alligators are PLENTY dangerous. Although their testicles ARE notoriously ticklish. Go ahead. Try it.

[–] LanguageIsCool@lemmy.world 14 points 4 days ago

“Hahahahaha stop hahahaha STOP hahahAHHHHHH” rips your head off

[–] Bytemeister@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

Nah, they're just big scaly alley cats.

I kayaked in a swamp full of alligators for a week. I would not do the same in a swamp full of crocodiles.

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 18 points 3 days ago (1 children)

As an aussie: the alligator is the one that looks weird

[–] AlligatorBlizzard@sh.itjust.works 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

As a (former) Floridian: the crocodile is the one that looks weird

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 7 points 3 days ago

keep your weirdly fat lizards then!

[–] SplashJackson@lemmy.ca 11 points 3 days ago

HahahhahahahahahahahahHHahHHahHHahHahhaHahahHahahahhhHAHhHahHHahHHhahahahaahHhhH

Seriously though, this meme reads like a chain letter sent in the 90s

Also no gharial

[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 17 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Whichever the fuck, I don’t care, I am terrified at a primal level looking this photo

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 32 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Gee, I don't know, DominusOfMegadeus. Maybe deep down, you're afraid of any Apex Predator that lived through the KT Extinction. Physically unchanged for a hundred million years because it's the perfect killing machine: a half ton of cold-blooded fury with the bite force of twenty-thousand newtons and a stomach acid so strong it can dissolve bones and hooves. And now we're surrounded, those snake eyes are watching from the shadows waiting for the night...

[–] acockworkorange@mander.xyz 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Crocodilians (which include all croc like animals) are not quite cold blooded. Their hearts keep oxygenated and carbonated blood mostly separate, affording them the lower metabolism of cold blooded animals and the speed of warm blooded ones.

Their carbonated blood also takes a your through the stomach before going to the lungs. You see, the higher the carbonation, the lower the pH, and having that source of H+ ions next to their tummy is paramount for them to manufacture their highly acidic gastric juice.

[–] faythofdragons@slrpnk.net 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Oh, not that kind of carbonation, lol

[–] acockworkorange@mander.xyz 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

In fact it is the same, in a way. It's CO2 diluted in water. It ionizes the water forming carbonic acid.

[–] faythofdragons@slrpnk.net 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

So you're saying that if you shake a crocodile, they explode like a bottle of soda?

[–] acockworkorange@mander.xyz 3 points 3 days ago

No more than you or me. The amount of co2 diluted in our blood is nowhere near the over saturation levels in a soda bottle.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 8 points 3 days ago

Pictured: normal shoe and pointy shoe

[–] SomeAmateur@sh.itjust.works 8 points 4 days ago

I remember the croc cap from Metal Gear Solid 3

And Crocs (the shoe) look more like gators lol

[–] tias@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 4 days ago

And the alligator is the one next to the crocodile, so this sounds more like a similarity than a difference

[–] atlien51@lemm.ee 3 points 3 days ago
[–] lath@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Hey peeps! Easy way to tell! The Alligator has their mouth shaped like an A and the Crocodile has their mouth shaped as a C! Can't go wrong with that!

Edit: And also there's the cayman or as we like to call it, the 'kay man. You can tell because they're usually toasted.

[–] alphapuggle@programming.dev 23 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Isn't it flipped? Counterintuitively

[–] Kecessa@sh.itjust.works 10 points 4 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Yep, it is reversed

Crocodile teeth don't show, Gators have teeth visible when their mouth is closed, that was the trick I learned as a kid

[–] alphapuggle@programming.dev 9 points 3 days ago

If I'm close enough to tell this, the last thing I'm probably worried about is if it's an alligator or a crocodile

[–] lath@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Ikr. It was probably a bunch of dads making jokes when naming them.

[–] Angry_Autist@lemmy.world -4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

You are amplifying a bot account, do better lemmy

[–] creamlike504@jlai.lu 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)