As a trans woman, I've heard this argument used when people want to call me "Bro" or "man". It would probably apply to a number of common slurs too, such as "retard".

I once had someone tell me very very earnestly that the word Queer - a word I literally marched under in protest - was the worst most horrible slur ever, then turn around and use fruit.

Baby comm members need naptime methinks

Yeah, it's like people say "Please don't call me that," and instead the person who called them that hears "You did something wrong for calling me that," and they get defensive. It's one of those things that, once you notice, you'll see it everywhere. Not just about nicknames. It could be anything. It's like no matter what you say in response they just view it like you're angry or saying they're a bad person. "I know you didn't mean anything by it, but I don't like it and would prefer that you didn't." Nope. Some folks just can't comprehend it. "I know other people are okay with it. I'm not saying you should stop calling them that." Nope! Their ego is now in defense mode lol.

I grew up with those words being common and I hope they don't come back in any form. They're very damaging even to straight males. But I'm sure as long as there's a counter culture they won't go away.

Case in point, I've been getting really into Latin dance, taking group classes, taking private classes, etc. the people that I see dance that look amazing are having a lot of fun with the dance and the music, the body movements, everything. When I try to move a certain way with my hips there's this fucking voice in my head that's snickering saying "gay" and if I can get out of my own fucking head and just feel the music, feel myself and connect with who I'm dancing with I have a great time and I get a lot of compliments. I hate that even when I know it's wrong and even completely illogical the fear of being perceived as feminine or weak is something that I have to struggle with on a personal level.