Because the pope deadnamed him.
James Donald Bowman is a massive cuck and deserves to be reminded off his biological father for as long as people in the USA can't choose which gender they prefer.
this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2025
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The Pope refused to join his Signal group.
He joined the wrong signal group. Vance only realized when the pope asked "what's up with all the couch pics?"
Vance saw this sexy ass chair And he just had to fuck it. I had to get down and dirty with that fancy seat. The pope tried to get in his way.
Are... Are you JD Vance?
Nah... but I got sucked into the couch appreciation, white house signal chat last week
Realistically, no, but I still think it should be said frequently with sincerity.
Vance killed him because the Pope didn't own a suit
The Pope cried out “take me JC!”
Unfortunately his right hand man is a bit hard of hearing, and let JD into the room…
Death by cringe
Vance took off his human mask and showed the pope what a demon looks like.
The flu of America*
Tap for spoiler
*Formerly known as influenza or Spanish Flu.
Pope met the antichrist and said I'm outta here.
Sure didn't see this one coming, ironically. Before the pope had passed away I commented this on another post.
Bet the poor Pope couldn't even attend because in addition to his health issues he must have felt the evil pressure oozing from Vance.
Welp, poor Francis. He was a good one, and difficult to replace especially in these uncertain times.
The silver lining is that he really made his last big act in life to admonish Vance, and by extension the Trump admin, about their wrongdoing. He has my gratitude for that.
JD got over excited by how the pontiff choose to couch his words.
Because Biden is catholic
Probably not because the Pope didn't say thank you. Zelensky is still alive. He probably didn't say please as well.
Same reason Liz Truss killed the Queen
Talking to sex pest Jimmy Dilbert Vance is so exhausting it takes 10 years off your life, the Pope didn't have 10 years left.
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I THOUGHT this was FAKE NEWS but I'm seeing it All Over Facebook so it MUST be True that JD Vance KILLED the Pope!
-Republicans who Do Their Own Research and STILL Love Trump!
He thought it was the seat of Catholic power and was driven to a frenzy.
Jealousy.
As a vampire, he has to drink the blood of a pontif to remain a daywalker.
He should now sparkle in the sun for another...6-8 weeks before needing to feed again.
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Fancy papal couches that were unfuckable.
The pope told JD that no one in the tRump regime, or any other self-proclaimed christian in the USA was anything near being a christian. Per Matthew 25:40-45
The pope realized that no just or loving god would let that couch fucker anywhere near any position of power, so he offed himself out of depression.
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