tektite

joined 7 months ago
[–] tektite@slrpnk.net 2 points 2 hours ago

JD Vance is a sofa-sexual and enjoys a smooth ride. When he feels the soft, inviting advances of a seductive sofa working up his Sectional Feelings, he wraps it up with a Grandma Brand© Plastic Couch Cover. It cleans up in a jiffy and his guests never suspect a thing!

Anyone want some more ranch dip? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–] tektite@slrpnk.net 10 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I made this back in October but didn't do anything with it. Apparently it's more relevant than I realized, and this seems like a good place to put it.

[–] tektite@slrpnk.net 2 points 1 week ago

I loved Batman Forever and I still listen to the soundtrack.

[–] tektite@slrpnk.net 2 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] tektite@slrpnk.net 2 points 2 weeks ago

"...and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there, only just the night before, about eight o'clock."

[–] tektite@slrpnk.net 1 points 2 weeks ago

That's a bummer but at least you made that one cowboy's night!!

My first year at my current place I went to work in costume with full face makeup (Jack Nicholson's Joker). I came home a little after dark and waited with my bowl for about an hour and a half; but at that point the makeup was getting itchy and I was done with it. Got in the shower and within maybe 3 minutes the doorbell rang! Then it rang again a couple minutes later while I was still in there! Nobody has come by for candy since then and it's been several years.

[–] tektite@slrpnk.net 9 points 2 weeks ago

I believe it's "dumb fucks" if history is anything to go by.

[–] tektite@slrpnk.net 2 points 2 weeks ago

But he was so generous with the paper towels!!

[–] tektite@slrpnk.net 1 points 2 weeks ago

Did I write this

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