Heya, friend. I identified strongly with your inner monologue, if not from the same cause. I'm peri menopausal. I hope it brings you a bit of comfort to hear that many other women are having the same thoughts and feelings.
If I can share what's helped me: I went back to a strategy I learned in my adolescent years... Sometimes confidence breeds confidence. I do my best to practice it until it becomes internalized and "exuded."
As you move through your journey, know some old lady in Baltimore is rooting for you.
It's been a bit since your answer, but I thought you might get a chuckle (or at least an eye roll) from my eventual discovery.
I'm short. 5'2". As it turns out, losing 15 lbs was enough to change what it means to fully extend my left leg. After realizing my issue and moving the seat up by one click, I've not had the symptom repeat since (2 weeks).
While I'm not enthused about having to sit so close to my steering wheel, I'm overjoyed that this was user error.
Thanks for taking time to share your knowledge!