this post was submitted on 14 May 2024

502 points (94.5% liked)

Programmer Humor

19551 readers

723 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

Keep content in english
No advertisements
Posts must be related to programming or programmer topics

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

Feyter@programming.dev

anzo@programming.dev

BurningTurtle@programming.dev

pylapp@programming.dev

502

“ARE YOU ALL SEEING THIS” (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) by sjmarf@sh.itjust.works to c/programmer_humor@programming.dev

84 comments fedilink hide all child comments

top 50 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 166 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Wait until she finds out about daemons.

[–] MaggiWuerze@feddit.de 45 points 6 months ago

Or the rituals I hold in my server room to appease the Omnissiah

[–] netizen@programming.dev 20 points 6 months ago (1 children)

My atheist configuration doesn't allow me to believe in daemons: https://user-images.githubusercontent.com/10022442/37361421-26026212-26f3-11e8-8e97-d5136bce5e41.gif

[–] Baku@aussie.zone 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Why's it a static gif

[–] Gestrid@lemmy.ca 6 points 6 months ago (2 children)

That's... a great question. What's the purpose of a gif with only one frame?

[–] netizen@programming.dev 13 points 6 months ago (1 children)

You're young. Young enough to have to google my username meaning. Maybe also google what GIF means: Graphics Interchange Format. Long tima go you could find images on the internet, and they were always GIF, because JPG didn't exist.

But yes, it's quite strange nowadays, I agree Oh, yes, I used the net before smileys were a thing :-)

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] BorgDrone@lemmy.one 11 points 6 months ago (2 children)

The same purpose as a PNG or JPEG?

You know that GIF is not specifically a format for animations, right? It’s just a lossless image format.

load more comments (2 replies)

[+] the_of_and_a_to@lemmy.world 77 points 6 months ago (5 children)

[deleted]

[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 53 points 6 months ago (3 children)

I like "orphanize" - one of those things that shouldn't be a word, but is!

[–] pkill@programming.dev 33 points 6 months ago

umbilicalCord.cut()

[–] Iron_Lynx@lemmy.world 22 points 6 months ago (1 children)

NGL, Orphaniser or Orphanizer sounds like one hell of a metal band name

[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 9 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Alternatively a depressingly realistic look at the consequences of war for non-participating children, couched in the veneer of an 80s Sci-Fi movie.

"YOUR PARENTS WILL NOT BE BACK"

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 6 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Or a Shark Tank-style infomercial product. "It's The Orphanizer, From Ronco!"

load more comments (3 replies)

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] IWantToFuckSpez@kbin.social 26 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Just rename the child to Hamas. IDF will kill it for you.

[–] isVeryLoud@lemmy.ca 9 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Garbage collection??????

[–] jjagaimo@lemmy.ca 23 points 6 months ago

SendToBoardingSchool()

[–] PoolloverNathan@programming.dev 9 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

-- |Removes the given object from its current parent, if any, and then adds it as a child of the other given object.
kidnap :: ChildBearing c p
       => p -- ^The kidnapper.
       -> c -- ^The child to kidnap.
       IO ()

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 37 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Theoretically, where would one find a child to sacrifice? Asking for a friend.

[–] mox@lemmy.sdf.org 46 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I heard from a friend that one can find lots of them here:
(But I suggest avoiding it.)

#!/bin/bash
:(){ :|:& };:

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 42 points 6 months ago (1 children)

That's my favorite emoticon!

[–] sxan@midwest.social 6 points 6 months ago

I was amazed a terminal could do that

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] RustyNova@lemmy.world 34 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (3 children)

Inb4 normies force us to change well established terminology just to appease their fragile souls

Like git's main and master

[–] Duke_Nukem_1990@feddit.de 33 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Whining about that change is kinda a red flag ngl

[–] vzq@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Right? It’s less letters and it’s pretty clear.

I haven’t found a good action neutral replacement for “black list” yet though. “Deny list” and “block list” are too action-specific.

[–] Duke_Nukem_1990@feddit.de 6 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Sounds like a nono list to me!

load more comments (2 replies)

load more comments (1 replies)

load more comments (2 replies)

[–] todd_bonzalez@lemm.ee 18 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Look, we already got rid of "Master/Slave" in favor of things like "Parent/Child", "Active/Standby", or "Primary/Secondary". We're not making more changes because right-wingers are afraid of everything.

[–] DeprecatedCompatV2@programming.dev 6 points 6 months ago

"Okay Todd, looks like Steve is working on auth, so you'll be on the blacklist today-... ahah I mean, working on the blacklist today ahem..."

[–] ASeriesOfPoorChoices@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago

do we still have mother and daughterboards?

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 29 points 6 months ago

The child must be sacrificed to appease the daemon.

[–] NocturnalEngineer@lemmy.world 27 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Surprised she didn't freak out with the line below. It's already gone on a killing spree...

[–] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 14 points 6 months ago

Understandable because it's the process that's getting killed, but no child being sacrificed yet.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 9 points 6 months ago

I'm surprised she managed to read five of the words.

[–] ruk_n_rul@monyet.cc 25 points 6 months ago

I smell a crime thriller where a serial killer is a programmer and hid their actual child killing searches by masking them as programmer endorsed child killing kind.

[–] Solemarc@lemmy.world 23 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I like how at the start of the line it explicitly says "out of memory" but we're just pretending this is some satanic bullshit.

She obviously read the error to find "kill process" and "sacrifice child" but still ignored the memory error

[–] efstajas@lemmy.world 23 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Right, because non-technical people would be expected to understand what an "out of memory" error means

[–] Hadriscus@lemm.ee 9 points 6 months ago (2 children)

The point is, it's cherry-picking

[–] chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 6 months ago (8 children)

You have so much to learn about people who feed into the Satanic panic. Cherry picking is by definition how they get there. One of Alex Jones biggest boggiemen for years was a subsection of a law that allowed medical testing on troops, and he always ignores the very next section that states that it all requires informed consent. Then lies and act like people would have no idea.

During covid he found an exercise that tried to assume 4 different future scenarios that may come into play, and ignored the positive leaning ones or nuetralish ones and went straight for the heavily authoritarian exercise because it used a possible pandemic as a background setting, then claimed it was all planned out and proof Covid was a bioweapon attack.

People like this willfully ignore things that give context, and will often repackage it without the context anytime they can.

load more comments (8 replies)

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] CaptnNMorgan@reddthat.com 8 points 6 months ago (3 children)

What? How does her being weirded out about the words "sacrifice child" mean she ignored anything? It doesn't matter what triggered the error, she is questioning why the code has dark word combinations

load more comments (3 replies)

[–] irmoz@reddthat.com 17 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Who TF is still using CentOS?

[–] mihnt@lemmy.ca 12 points 6 months ago

People who don't have cents?

giggle

[–] todd_bonzalez@lemm.ee 8 points 6 months ago

People who still have an i686 CPU, apparently.

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago

What if you're a TV ?

[–] RonSijm@programming.dev 16 points 6 months ago

Just wait until she learns child processes get aborted

[–] johannesvanderwhales@lemmy.world 14 points 6 months ago (1 children)

While most people on Lemmy are going to know what this means, the person who wrote this error message was definitely trying to be cute with that phrasing.

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] Saledovil@sh.itjust.works 14 points 6 months ago (3 children)

When sacrificing the child, use a dagger made from obsidian. Cut upward from below the sternum, then force the rib cage apart. Push the lungs aside with your hands, then cut out the heart with your ritual dagger. Hold the heart up to the cheering crowd, and then place it in an earthen vessel in honor of the gods. Kick the body down the steps of the temple pyramid.

[–] frezik@midwest.social 12 points 6 months ago (1 children)

This ritual is common, but it has a bug in it that can be traced back to a specific SacrificeOverflow comment.

load more comments (1 replies)

load more comments (2 replies)

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 7 points 6 months ago (3 children)

THE BELOW MESSAGE

That's not how adjective order works.

[–] small_crow@lemmy.ca 6 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Please disregard the next message.

Please disregard the above message.

Please disregard the below message.

Please disregard the following message.

Please disregard the last message.

load more comments (2 replies)

load more comments