May I also suggest, even easier than saltines, a nice tall, refreshing glass of water? The perfect meal replacement for those times when you're too busy (or poor) to eat!
this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2023
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Water, like from the toilet?
Ooh la la Mr. Fancy I Have A Toilet Man. No, WATER, like from a puddle on the sidewalk.
You live somewhere where water just falls from the sky for free?
Can't afford Brandow.
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I'll 1up you. Take half a sleeve of saltines and put them in a big glass. Pour chocolate milk in the glass until it is half full and stir until thick.
Bottoms up.
On an unrelated note, I disgust my wife.
Who hurt you
You greedy communist! If you do that, then Nestle can't bottle up all that fresh mone--I mean, water, up and help the free market!
My dad eats saltines with butter. Not peanut butter. Butter butter.
It is good, like eating a buttered roll but crunchy.
Buttered saltine club, represent!
Ok, you have to try them with President brand butter. It’s a cultured butter from France. It’s the most buttery tasting butter my tastebuds have ever tasted. It’s all I buy now.
I’ve seen it at Publix and Walmart. If you can find it give it a try. It’s better than Kerrygold.
It’s better than Kerrygold.
I like how you threw this out there expecting all of us to be butter connoisseurs.
Hey. People that know butter know kerrygold. Stating that it's better than kerrygold is a bold claim.
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My Grandma taught me to butter the saltines when we have Chili and to scoop a little chili on the butter saltine. I might need to make some chili tonight now haha
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I know I sound disgusting, but sometimes I eat saltines and straight up dip them in/scoop up butter like it's a dip. It's good.
I do that but I dip them in my tomato soup.
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Make little mini peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. That’s what my mom would make us when she couldn’t afford bread sometimes.
I ate that all the time growing up, also did that with Ritz crackers. Had no idea it was because poor 😓
Damn look at this fat cat over here being able to afford Ritz. Us plebs get to share a singular saltine for the week. We used to take turns licking the salt off for dinner and had the soggy biscuit for breakfast the following morning.
On a serious note though, I feel ya. Hopefully your doing better as an adult. ♥️
Look at this fat cat capitalist with a table. We use to take turns breathing inside McDonalds just to get a whiff of nutrients.
Look at Bill Gates over here. We couldn't even afford nothing. We always had something and it was dreadful
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I’m sure other people did it for fun. Foods stamps are a weird concept as a kid. I didn’t understand why we paid with coupons and why we could only get one bread per week but the other people at the store can get anything they want.
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Man... I have to not buy saltines because I will literally just eat a sleeve plain.
I can just sit and eat a whole box of Triscuits if I'm not stopped, so I never buy Triscuits in any of their wonderfully delicious flavors.
I'll eat a whole damn box before i realize what I've done. One day it's gonna catch up to me and I'm gonna be the next person on my 600lb life
Image Transcription:
An image of an unopened sleeve of saltines with text over it. The text at the top reads: off work late? hungry, but too tired to cook? try eating sleeve of saltines The bottom text reads: you certainly will not regret eating sleeve of saltines
[I am a human, if I’ve made a mistake please let me know. Please consider providing alt-text for ease of use. Thank you. 💜]
good human
Unsalted saltines are just wrong though.
Those are just "ines"
My cats will try and murder me for these, they give no shits about any other crackers or human non-meat food, but I’ve had one literally try and eat one out of my mouth. Makes me question what’s really in them….
A lot of animals are hyper attracted to salt, that could be it. I know a deer will lick your dried piss off a rock for some salt from my days camping.
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Had a cat that dearly loved noodles. Would climb all over you for a strand of spaghetti.
I love a good sleeve of saltines and I’m a grown ass man with a family and house and all that jazz.
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My dad used to melt cheese and put salami on these and we would dip it in marinara. He called it poor mans pizza.
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I would much rather....drink 3 beers!
Thanks Andy Richter, miss you buddy!
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Anyone still do the 4 saltines in 1 minute challenge? No drinking!
nah i do the 4 sleeves in 1 hour challenge
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I can eat reams of Zesta saltines by themselves. I’ve tried multiple varieties and nothing comes close.
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Ok, I know you like saltines but have you tried...
R A T I O N S ! ?
Mmm saladas
Oh man I'm not good at thyroid gland plz to halp
Don’t forget to add meat, cheese, beans, hot sauce in any combo!
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