this post was submitted on 08 Dec 2023
744 points (98.4% liked)

Not The Onion

11846 readers
446 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] foyrkopp@lemmy.world 143 points 9 months ago (2 children)

If only there'd been a another, good MRI machine with a gun present.

I read this story as the MRI machine being the good guy and successfully defending itself

[–] Nobody@lemmy.world 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Firearms should be standard issue for all MRI machines to stop this from happening in the future.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 81 points 9 months ago (5 children)

I can see the thinking that lead to this. But in my mind, it boils down to one bad decision after other, concealing the firearm because each step forward carries worse consequences. It's basically the clown-makeup meme:

  1. Carry gun around because that's what I always do.
  2. Walk into hospital - whoops, I'll just keep it concealed so I don't get in trouble. Can't hand it over to someone either, or leave it in my car; that's a felony.
  3. Check in for appointment - can't back out now, it took forever to get this appointment and there's a penalty for a no-show.
  4. Change clothes for MRI - can't leave my gun lying around, that's also a no-no and someone could get hurt. I'll just tuck it... somewhere.
  5. Walk into MRI exam room - had to say "no" about metal on my person. These medical people are overly careful anyways.
  6. Actively getting an MRI - what's the worst that could happen?

Do we need airport-style backscatter x-rays prior to MRI procedures now? In hindsight, it seems like cheap insurance.

[–] KnightontheSun@lemmy.world 35 points 9 months ago* (last edited 1 week ago)
[–] hasnt_seen_goonies@lemmy.world 31 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Thank you for the hypothetical explanation. I was utterly unable to figure out how something so insane actually happened. This at least makes some sort of sense.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] JTheDoc@lemmy.world 26 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You'd think a metal detector would be mandatory in all MRI departments before you enter?

[–] Fog0555@lemmy.world 11 points 9 months ago

It looks like it is on all new or renovated MRIs, which makes this all the more concerning.

https://mriquestions.com/metal-detectors.html

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] SlopppyEngineer@discuss.tchncs.de 67 points 9 months ago (2 children)

A bit of trivia: it used to be called NMRI, nuclear magnetic resonance imaging. They dropped the N after it became clear people didn't want to go in the machine because they were afraid of radiation. That's why it's called MRI now.

[–] dfense@lemmy.world 25 points 9 months ago (5 children)

In Chemistry (where it originated) it is still called NMR. There is no image produced, but a spectrum (graph).

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 10 points 9 months ago (3 children)

If chemists were worried about nuclear magnetic resonance because of potential radiation, I'd be more worried about those chemists!

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] oce@jlai.lu 17 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Ah, the same kind of people who are worried about phone radiation while spending days roasting on the beach every summer.

[–] fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com 61 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (22 children)

As she was about to enter the machine, the gun was attracted to the powerful magnet inside it and fired off a single round into and through her right buttock. Luckily, the bullet barely penetrated her skin and the doctor on site described her entry and exit wounds as “very small and superficial.”

There is no way the MRI wasn't damaged. Other hospital go'ers will be footing that bill. She should be garneshed wages for the rest of her life until those repairs are paid.

"Lucky" would be the bullet being lodged in her body, doing no further damage except to her idiot self so she would learn her lesson without impacting others.

[–] SPRUNT@lemmy.world 18 points 9 months ago

This person took a loaded gun into a hospital, and then into the giant magnet room. Not sure they're capable of learning any kind of lesson.

load more comments (21 replies)
[–] helmet91@lemmy.world 52 points 9 months ago

Oh no! Is the MRI machine okay? The article doesn't say anything about it.

[–] xkforce@lemmy.world 52 points 9 months ago

Maybe next time dont lie to medical staff.

[–] BigWheelPowerBrakeSlider@lemmy.world 44 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Lucky it wasn't worse. You can't have any metal on in a huge rotating magnet. Dumb is gonna dumb.

[–] gregorum@lemm.ee 34 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (3 children)

Oh no. ~~A CT scanner is a giant rotating electromagnet~~. An MRI is a giant quantum electromagnetic tube. It’s so, so much worse. It is literally unpredictable as to what might happen with metal inside of it. She’s lucky she wasn’t literally torn to shreds.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] remotelove@lemmy.ca 14 points 9 months ago (4 children)

I thought the "M" was for "Magic". Silly me.

[–] cave@lemmy.world 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 37 points 9 months ago (1 children)

With the cost and risks of MRI machines, why aren't there metal detectors at the entrance?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] AgentGrimstone@lemmy.world 32 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Whoever gave the MRI machine a gun needs to be fired.

[–] MonkeMischief@lemmy.today 22 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

a gun needs to be fired.

--The MRI Machine

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Nacktmull@lemm.ee 31 points 9 months ago

Muricans and science don´t mix ...

[–] marshadow@lemmy.world 30 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Weird that they didn't have her change into a gown first. Or maybe they did, in which case where did she put-- you know what never mind that's enough internet for today

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] HotsauceHurricane@lemmy.one 24 points 9 months ago

Gotta be strapped at all times. Liberal doc might give her a covid booster.

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 23 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Woman Enters MRI Machine With a Gun, Gets Shot in Butt

What's the next line in this lyrics

[–] luthis@lemmy.nz 19 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Woman Enters MRI Machine With a Gun,

(Gets Shot in the Butt)

She been a dumbass since a teen, you know she dat one,

(Face like a mutt)

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.world 20 points 9 months ago

"I knew I couldn't trust that damn MRI!"

[–] crispy_kilt@feddit.de 19 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 9 points 9 months ago

There are idiots in this world, and there are bigger idiots, and well, there are American gun owners.

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 19 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Did this happen again, or is it the same one as before?

[–] dangblingus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

With all of the police at any given hospital, it's interesting that this woman wasn't arrested and charged. Discharging a concealed handgun in a hospital? Just American things!

Also, I love how she lied about having a gun, apparently not understanding that they're about to walk into the most dangerous place on Earth to possess metal. Remember the buttplug MRI story? Like, these damn libruls are going to take my gun away if I tell them about it!

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Xttweaponttx@sh.itjust.works 17 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Directly from the wiki entry=

MRI was originally called NMRI (nuclear magnetic resonance imaging), but "nuclear" was dropped to avoid negative associations.[2] Certain atomic nuclei are able to absorb radio frequency (RF) energy when placed in an external magnetic field; the resultant evolving spin polarization can induce a RF signal in a radio frequency coil and thereby be detected.[3] In clinical and research MRI, hydrogen atoms are most often used to generate a macroscopic polarization that is detected by antennas close to the subject being examined.[3] Hydrogen atoms are naturally abundant in humans and other biological organisms, particularly in water and fat. For this reason, most MRI scans essentially map the location of water and fat in the body. Pulses of radio waves excite the nuclear spin energy transition, and magnetic field gradients localize the polarization in space. By varying the parameters of the pulse sequence, different contrasts may be generated between tissues based on the relaxation properties of the hydrogen atoms therein.

Fucking incredible.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Snapz@lemmy.world 17 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Welcome to Costco. I love you.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] satans_crackpipe@lemmy.world 16 points 9 months ago

The only thing that can stop a bad MRI with a gun is a good MRI with a gun.

[–] moitoi@feddit.de 13 points 9 months ago

Looks like a bad porn plot.

[–] zcd@lemmy.ca 13 points 9 months ago

Even the MRI machines in America are armed

[–] Sparlock@lemmy.world 11 points 9 months ago

Only in america.

[–] ARk@lemm.ee 11 points 9 months ago

you can't take away muh gunz

[–] pete_the_cat@lemmy.world 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

How did she sneak it in though? Usually aren't you wearing a hospital gown at this point?

[–] CmdrShepard@lemmy.one 12 points 9 months ago (3 children)

No you can have them done in regular clothes. You'll typically only wear a hospital gown if you're staying in the hospital beforehand.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Buffaloaf@lemmy.world 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›