this post was submitted on 04 Jul 2025
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[–] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)
  1. Waffle fries (always crispy and delicious)
  2. Curly fries (same)
  3. Tater tots (surprisingly good)
  4. Wedges, if properly spiced
  5. Good onion rings
  6. Shoestring, if not limp
  7. Bad onion rings
  8. Bad wedges
  9. Crinkle cut (zigzag) (usually unflavored and soggy from a bag, but can be better than soggy shoestrings)
  10. Bad shoestrings
  11. Sweet potato fries (always soggy and I don't like sweet potato very much)
[–] GraniteM@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

  1. Tater tots are basically an entire potential meal of their own. Not a French fry, but I may actually prefer them as a possible main dish.

  2. The best French fries. They are the perfect side.

  3. If you want to fancy it up a bit. Suitable for formal occasions.

  4. Taking the one-dimensional line of the French fry and extrapolating it out to two dimensions. Still a good ketchup conveyance, but starting to get into the issue I'm going to bring up with...

5, 6, 7. Not a good enough ratio of crispy outer fried surface to gooey potato inner. I prefer crisp, but when I bite one of these, I have a good chance of just getting a mouthful of scalding hot potato napalm, or what's worse, cold potato cement. Not ideal.

'8. Yeccch.

[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

counterargument: 8 8 8 8 8 8 8 8

[–] EchoSnail@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 week ago

Yes. To all of them.

[–] Codpiece@feddit.uk 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

They are delicious

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[–] LaLuzDelSol@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

5 - 8 - 4 - 2 - 1 - 3 - 7 - 6

I'm really not a big white potato fan but sweet potatoes and onions are delicious

[–] LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

This is exactly what I thought as going to answer. Fuckin LOVE sweet potatoes and onions

[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I'm not too fussy about my deep fried treats. They're all no. 1 in my book. Except sweet potato, they can fuck off. They taste fine, but why are they always soggy?

[–] cnirrad@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

You haven't had good ones then, because a well cooked sweet tater fry that is crispy on the outside and soft in the middle is the best.

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[–] frenchfryenjoyer@lemmings.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] Atlas_@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Most of these are good, just for different things. I want waffle fries at the bar; I want shoestring fries at the burger place; I want wedges at the cafe on the corner.

Except the zigzags. I don't think I've ever had a good zigzag.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

8, 2 4, 3, 1, 6, 7, 5

Assuming they onion rings are beer batter and the curly fries are from Arby's.

5 8 7 2 4 1 6 3

[–] TimewornTraveler@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

list is missing Fried Tofu

since we're apparently just including any random fuckin food you can fry

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[–] myrrh@ttrpg.network 3 points 1 week ago
[–] Hazmatastic@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)
  • Wedges
  • Curly
  • Zigzag
  • Shoestring
  • Waffle
  • Tots
  • Sweet Potato (not a potato but closer than an onion)
  • Onion Rings (not a potato, would be 3 otherwise)
[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

I'm gonna have to lock in Onion Rings as my final answer.

[–] Mediocre_Bard@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

2: Top tier. I would suck a curly fry-wrapped dick as a side dish to my communion.

8: As pictured, yes. With their typical batter style that allows the onion to slide out? Fucking garbage. 1: A solid choice that reheats well and consistently delivers the yum.

7: Tasty and a fun puzzle as you try to reconstruct the potato.

3: Plain tots? Fuck outa here. Bump that shit up with some totchos.

4: Good in theory, dry as fuck in practice. Texture is inconsistent and offensive to autism.

5: What the fuck is wrong with you? Deadass. Explain your trauma to me.

6: Somehow chalk that reheats into more chalk. Your mom said not to fast food and then pulled these out the oven. Worse than a sweet potato fry.

Where are the cheese curds? Fucking profligates is deep fried cheese too good for ya?

[–] jeanofthedead@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 week ago
[–] Zier@fedia.io 2 points 1 week ago

1-4, 6-8 YESSSSSSS 5 NO!

[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 week ago

I’ll just take whatever. I’m not picky.

[–] SuiXi3D@fedia.io 2 points 1 week ago

Doesn't matter, is potato. And onion rings. All are awesome.

[–] zxqwas@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Whatever as long as it's not sweet potato.

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 week ago

Straight out of the fryer

23714856

If it's been on the plate for 10m

13468572

[–] buzz86us@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Seasoned fries for robbed

[–] acockworkorange@mander.xyz 2 points 1 week ago

1,5,7,8,3,4,2,6

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