this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 37 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I rather want a spring penis.

[–] IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] ignotum@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] LillaApan@feddit.org 12 points 1 day ago (2 children)

0118 999 881 999 119 725 3

Screw that, just send an email.

[–] El_Scapacabra@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 day ago

I've had a bit of a tumble.

[–] Saber_is_dead@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

summer penis

isn't that a song from Grease

It's drifting away

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemmy.zip 29 points 2 days ago

Oh, so it's not just me that grows an extra one during the summer?

Good, I'm happy it's getting normalised.

[–] y0kai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Come to Florida and you can be surrounded by huge dicks year round!

[–] FuckFascism@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Don't you mean tiny dicks?

[–] pupbiru@aussie.zone 4 points 19 hours ago

Huge dicks with tiny dicks

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 80 points 2 days ago (3 children)

It's just limp dick size that changes but summer penis and cold shrinkage can definitely happen to a man.

Of course if you live far from the equator, you might also get summer horny to combat the winter SAD. I think this one is gender neutral, but might be helpful to have a lady chime in on this one.

[–] Lyra_Lycan@lemmy.blahaj.zone 45 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Am a woman, have no clue what this is on about. My dick hasn't been affected by summer

Body heat, however, is a different story. It's definitely wider when hot and a skinny mf when cool. I therefore provisionally support this claim by the men

[–] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's just limp dick size that changes but summer penis and cold shrinkage can definitely happen to a man.

That’s why I never leave the house without a raging boner. I found some pills at a truck stop gas station, I pop a few every time I need to go shopping or whatever. It frightens the children but the old ladies at the bingo parlor seem to dig it.

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 day ago

Well naturally, that's what they teach you in manhood 101. Did you skip the class?

[–] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 39 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Winter SAD is caused primarily by the winter time change suddenly stealing the only hour of unallocated daylight we had for ourselves, and refusing to give it back for three months.

Lock the clocks on spring/summer/fall time; give Little Johnny a PT belt for his morning walk, and stop fucking over the entire planet with this time change nonsense.

My tiny dick thanks you for your consideration.

[–] Overspark@feddit.nl 6 points 2 days ago (4 children)

While DST is indeed nonsense and we should abolish it ASAP, please go back to your actual timezone and not something that is the very modification we shouldn't have, i.e. summer time.

[–] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Nah, it would be far less disruptive to stick with the time we already use for 3/4 of the year. Winter time is the problem.

[–] Overspark@feddit.nl 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

3/4? That's fucked up, over here it's roughly half and it's still too much. Anyway, for specific areas there might be reasons to deviate from the timezone you're supposed to be in, but for most people it is the best option. Over here (NL) our default timezone is already one hour too early, so adding summer time on top of that means we're two hours out from where we're supposed to be.

[–] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Over here (NL) our default timezone is already one hour too early,

Then you have a completely different, localized problem, and you should fix that locally. The solution you are advocating is completely unsuitable outside of that localized area. You should change your time zone, so you don't have this problem.

The sun moves through the sky at 15 degrees per hour. An ideal timezone is one hour, or 15-degrees wide. Solar noon is at 12:00pm (Winter Time) in the middle of that timezone. At the eastern end, solar noon occurs at 11:30AM, and at the west end, 12:30. If the longest day of summer is 16 hours of daylight, the western end of this timezone experiences sunrise at 4:30AM. But, the center of the timezone experiences sunrise at 4AM, and the eastern end of that same, idealized timezone experiences sunrise is an hour earlier: 3:30AM.

Sunrise at 3:30 in the morning

This is nucking futs. Landscapers and construction workers have to wait for noise ordinances to expire at 8:00AM, 4.5 hours after sunrise, just in time for the day to start getting hot.

For coordinating the activities of daylight-oriented workers with clock-oriented workers/students, winter time is terrible. But summer time is actually very reasonable. In summer time, (with idealized timezones):

  • The earliest possible sunrise (on a 16-hour summer day, east end of the time zone) is 4:30AM. (The west end of that timezone has sunrise at a more reasonable 5:30AM)

  • The latest possible sunrise (on an 8-hour winter day, west end of the time zone) is 9:30AM (The east end of that timezone experiences that sunrise at a more reasonable 8:30AM)

  • Earliest possible sunset is 4:30PM (east end of the zone, 8-hour winter day; with the west end experiencing it at 5:30PM)

  • Latest possible sunset is 9:30PM (west end of the zone, 16-hour summer day; the east end experiences that same sunset at 8:30PM)

None of these extremes are ideal, but none of them are completely ridiculous either. Year-round Summer time is simply the best alternative to the biannual time change.

[–] Overspark@feddit.nl 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Look, if you're too lazy to set your alarm clock to a time that works for you that's fine, but why make other people suffer for your preferences? We have timezones for a reason, arguments like yours are what started the DST madness in the first place.

[–] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I would pose that same question to you. Why do you feel it is important for the sun to come up at 3:30 in the morning? Why would you impose that absurdity on anyone?

[–] nsrxn@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 days ago

no, I like summer time.

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[–] bluesheep@sh.itjust.works 34 points 2 days ago (2 children)

If your penis disappears during the winter maybe seek medical attention

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 76 points 2 days ago (2 children)

My penis disappears into your mum all year round

[–] essell@lemmy.world 33 points 2 days ago

Does their mum notice this happening?

[–] RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz 12 points 2 days ago

Or eat less

[–] RadioFreeArabia@lemmy.cafe 8 points 1 day ago

So that's why regions near the equator tend to be more populous.

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 19 points 2 days ago

I had a Scottish boyfriend, he visited me in Florida in the summer and I remember him saying "mind you, the heat does make ya horny, don't it?' (about himself) so I guess I buy it.

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 31 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] proper@lemmy.world 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)

the summer of penis?

“she said I failed the vibe check” “what’s a vibe check?” “I don’t know but I failed so it’s gotta be something bad. you know what this is. it’s GLOBAL WARMING, JERRY!” “oh he we go with the global warming.”

[–] cmbabul@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Well I read that in George’s voice

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[–] huppakee@feddit.nl 17 points 2 days ago (2 children)

"It'd be like if a woman's boobs suddenly got huge from May to August," she added.

"Stick a guy in an ice cold lake in the middle of summer and his penis will shrink to winter size," he said.

[–] Lumisal@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It'd be like if a woman's boobs suddenly got huge from May to August," she added.

I mean, do they get bigger? Has this been studied? Women's research is usually lacking compared to men's.

[–] Madison420@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

It's titled studies about size, you'd have a point if it were about like breast cancer or something but if it's like "is climate change making tits bigger and your dick look bigger?" Ain't no way they wouldn't fund that.

[–] WalrusDragonOnABike@reddthat.com 1 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

titled studies

tit-led studies 👀

[–] ComfortableRaspberry@feddit.org 9 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

Is this the male equivalent of the fat watery feet I get in summer? Can't wear some of my shoes when we've got a heatwave outside because they don't fit anymore.

[–] Wolf314159@startrek.website 3 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Have you checked your blood pressure lately? Salt intake? Hydrating okay? Hormones? Allergies?

Could be an early warning sign of something more serious.

A little swelling and water retention especially on hot days is normal. But, if your shoes stop fitting due to a little water retention, they probably didn't fit very well to begin with. It's easier than you'd think to get used to shoes that are too small. Your feet adapt, but suffer.

[–] ComfortableRaspberry@feddit.org 2 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)

I'm 35 and have this issue for > 10 years now. I appreciate your worries, and yes, there's a lot of stuff not okay but this problem is pretty common at least among those women I talked to about it.

[–] ftbd@feddit.org 6 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Is that something that only happens to women?

[–] ComfortableRaspberry@feddit.org 11 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I don't know if it's woman only, but they are definitely more likely since hormones are a relevant factor. Your veins are another factor, in German we call this "schwere Beine" ("heavy legs" since they feel kinda tired and tingly). Water accumulates in your legs and feet and this can make them look swollen, feel tired and prevents me in the afternoon from putting on the same shoes I was effortlessly wearing in the early morning.

[–] thethirdobject@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

just a reminder that people with testicles are also subject to hormonal cycles

Yes, absolutely but the hormone that causes / worsens this issue is estrogen. I googled it just now, before that I knew this as a "typical women problem" that's why I wasn't clear enough

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[–] UltraMagnus0001@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] pupbiru@aussie.zone 3 points 19 hours ago

… that URL slug is quite a thing

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