this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2025
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[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

"Who you gonna call?!"

[–] loaf@sh.itjust.works 40 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

Jesus has been pretty silent since that whole “death” thing. Like every other human.

[–] Skasi@lemmy.world 11 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

Like every other human.

Why is only every other dead human silent? What about the other half?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 11 points 16 hours ago

Not every human is silent after death. What about that time grave robbers stole Rasputin's body and heard it scream while they burned it?

[–] loaf@sh.itjust.works 1 points 16 hours ago

Okay, I laughed incredibly hard at this comment 😂

[–] MadMadBunny@lemmy.ca 7 points 16 hours ago

If those zealots could read they’d be very upset…

[–] gizmonicus@sh.itjust.works 18 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

I saw one the other day: "I met Jesus in prison". Damn, what did he do?

[–] OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca 27 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

He was getting deported for being an immigrant.

[–] Hobo@lemmy.world 7 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Well if the son of god had filed all the right paperwork and gone through the proper channels then he wouldn't be getting deported.

[–] takeda@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) (1 children)

Reminds me of the clip I saw yesterday or day before where MAGATs actually said that they would welcome Jesus’ in US as long as he came legally.

Edit: found it https://youtube.com/shorts/0eBnr2sFyoI

[–] Hobo@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

Holy shit. Really?!? Someone who is a supposed Christian is like, "Trump is righter than Jesus." The Onion was right these people are beyond parody.

[–] obsidianfoxxy7870@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Called them once when I was very bored. The person on the other side, refused to accept any bit of evidence. I asked him about queer youth suicide rates, his response "part of gods plan" or some kind of shit like that.

Like fuck off with that.

[–] Lucky_777@lemmy.world 5 points 13 hours ago

If Jesus is to be believed like the man he was. No way he would give two shits about you changing genders. "Oh you want to change genders my child? Will you hurt anyone in the process?"

"No"

"Then go forth, son or daughter and bring light to the world"

MAGA- what a woke ass lib Jesus was.

[–] barnaclebutt@lemmy.world 2 points 11 hours ago

Obviously, blindly support MAGA without a spark of understanding of irony.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 7 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago) (2 children)

I don't think Jesus ever personally weighs in on divorce. Or even war. But we know he hated wealth.

"It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven." - Matthew 19:24

[–] pacology@lemmy.world 9 points 16 hours ago

What?

"What God has joined together, let not man separate" Matthew 19:6 and Mark 10:9) definitely refers to marriage and is the main reason behind the catholic/Protestant schism.

War is less explicit but there’s definitely a bunch of passages about non violence (e.g., the mountain speech).

[–] masterbaexunn@lemmy.world 4 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago)

Mathew 10: 34 "Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. 36 And a person's enemies will be those of his own household.

[–] ordinarylove@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago)

so much of the imperial interior is just miles and miles of deserted, fossil fuel industry scarred land and nothing but these imperial cult billboards and the occasional dead walmart town

[–] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 3 points 14 hours ago

I think there is something about Jesus beating people like you with a whip until they left the church, is that what you're talking about?

[–] Ameripol@lemmy.world 2 points 14 hours ago

Out of curiosity, is this image from Missouri? I swear I've seen that exact billboard ad on both I-70 and I-55.

[–] Gowron_Howard@lemmy.world 2 points 15 hours ago

Is Jesus answering the phone?

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 1 points 13 hours ago

Yes

Jesus says yes

[–] whoisearth@lemmy.ca 1 points 13 hours ago (2 children)

Matthew 5:6 for context

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled."

Correct me if wrong but it has no relevance on the billboard which is hilarious.

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 4 points 13 hours ago

I hunger for righteousness. Fill me up, daddy.

[–] remotelove@lemmy.ca 1 points 10 hours ago

They are being honest about preying on vulnerable people via religion, it seems.

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 2 points 16 hours ago

I saw one from the same org that was openly supporting creationism and had the Ascent of Man crossed out, so I doubt you'll get anywhere with them if you do call.

[–] DrFistington@lemmy.world 1 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago)

Hmm. Is this like playing rock paper scissors with Jesus? I think Jesus will go with divorce, the opposite of which is wealth. Chose wealth!