Microblog Memes

I went for a walk on the Hudson Bay coast of far northern Ontario once when I was a teenager and we saw a polar bear. We're Indigenous and my family has connections up there so we went to visit them many times when I was growing up.

We had seen the bear a few days before from the safety of a frieghter canoe filled with a group of hunters with high powered rifles. We were in a 24 foot canoe and the bear was a huge adult that was probably about 12 to 15 feet long on four limbs and probably 20 feet standing. We looked at each other for a while and then dad and his hunter relatives fired warning shots next to the bear. The spray of firing a high powered shot in mud and clay is like a mini explosion or a land mine going off. It scared the bear enough that it started running. The land there is completely flat and featureless and the bear was gone on the horizon as a speck in a matter of minutes. We didn't want it near our camp.

My cousin and I went for a walk later, we came across the big claw marks of the adult polar bear in the mud and clay of the seashore. The marks were huge and it looked like it was made by a small backhoe or tractor. Clean cut marks from four huge claws with each limb. We were impressed and measured them with our feet and hands and head. We said to ourselves, hey this thing could tear us apart in seconds.

It was then that we realized, we about an hour long walk back to camp, we're alone and this bear could reappear at any moment and come running or even just walk fast at us from far away in a matter of minutes. All we had were shotguns to go bird hunting and we were just 16 year old kids. And we couldn't really walk fast in the muddy clay and tundra marsh where we were.

If the bear had been anywhere near us that day ... we would have been one of those little box newspapers stories of two teens that got killed by a bear in the northern wilderness.

Context is really important. If he’s an undertaker it might be a bit odd, but a final act of love for his wife.

But if he’s a trucker, for example, that’s more than slightly odd.

I was lucky to have survived having gone my first 5 years of life with a heart valve that was back bleeding.

I also cannot tell when I'm having a ear infection unless liquid comes oozing out. I have had some many in my life that they just don't hurt at all.

I spend time on google maps just browsing, learning where different places are in the world.

One time someone put a burred out map showing their location and I knew exactly where they were.

I promise never to use this power for evil.

I do a band count before I start peeing into the toilet….

“A-one, a-two, a-one-two-three-four!” peeeeeeeeeeeee

I then usually start singing a tv show theme song like Happy Days as I keep the flow going. Disturbed yet?

when encountering new people i am open and friendly, but mask up as they start saying things that let me know they are not safe people. at some point they become unsettled and go away.

The town's undertaker embalms everyone who does not embalm themselves. Who embalms the undertaker?

I'm really good at operating vehicles and other heavy machinery while on LSD, it doesn't significantly impair my coordination or reflexes. Delivered pizzas, drove a forklift once, and left more than a handful of underwhelming/unpleasant trip parties without having to wait til I came down. I suspect it's a combination of my particular neurodivergence plus a lot of practice gaming while tripping, hard to prove though.

I ate my twin in the womb.

fun

scary, unsettling

Not always two different things.

I promise you he fucked her one more time.

I had my mid-life crisis in my early 20's because the average lifespan in my demographic is like 52 years.

I'm ready to die, honestly. Not that I want to do it, it's just that I feel it's time since the pandemic.

I dont always look both ways before crossing the street at a cross walk...

Edit: Ya'll it was a joke. Thank you for the concern!

I'm pretty sure I've read the exact post. Same picture, same title. It was over a year ago. Might have been on reddit, I'm not sure anymore.

I'm wondering if there being 99.99% humans would make them all more valuable. And sometimes I just think maybe it would be for the best. But that is a bit insane, so I push it aside. But being treated like living garbage really does give you some ideas