this post was submitted on 05 Jun 2025
100 points (95.5% liked)

Ask Lemmy

32397 readers
1066 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

I've seen people consider even 5'7" as short for some reason so i'm curious if it has happened with someone

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Crampi@sh.itjust.works 77 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (4 children)

I'm guessing you're a man ?

I'm 5'4 male and average looking and a bit chubby

Dude, if you have decent hygiene, are a basic human being and treat people with respect, you will rise above all the other men who are stupid, racist, sexist, entitled pieces of shit

The bar is set REALLY low

Really Really low

Also if someone rejects you for your height consider he/she is doing you a favor by signaling he/she is not mature / has fucked up priorities for a relationship

[–] Madzielle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

This absolutely. I'm a 5'1" lady, and I do like my partner to be taller than me, but basically everyone is taller than me.

If you lined up every man I've dated over my lifetime, you'd see men from 5'2" to 6'4".

The right people are there for the person, not shallow bullshit. Hygiene is the best indicator, yes. Good hygiene, nice person, you'll find success.

When my now husband told me he was 6'3" my jaw dropped. Sure I was happy (he can reach the top shelf for me) but I seriously wouldn't have batted an eye if he was shorter

Date kind people, not shallow cunts and you should be okay.

I dated one guy who told me he was 5'10". He was kind of a cunt. He was actually 5'7". It just showcased his insecurity. I didn't like that. Wear yourself with pride. No one choses to be short/tall. Accept yourself and others will too.

[–] jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 15 points 5 days ago (4 children)

The bar is set REALLY low

There's a saying "the bar for men is in hell"

I thought it meant there was a drinking establishment for men in hell. They go and drink with the devil, and that's where they get all their bad ideas. They're doing shots and the devil's like "say she's fat", and the guy is like "good advice bro".

Turns out the saying just means the bar is super low. So low you don't even have to jump. It's so low, it's deeper than the depths of the earth and in the fires of hell that burn below.

But yeah, so many men are so horrible, it's shockingly easy to rise above them.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] dil@lemmy.zip 6 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

People do get rejected for their height lol, ppl are shallow, all woman aren't saints, what you should be saying is you should avoid anyone that cares about height, theyll remove themselves and its a non issue, ive had girls attracted to me calling me 6 foot be less atteacted to me visibly when I corrected them and said im actually 5 10 no logic in it lol

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] BlueLineBae@midwest.social 52 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Lol ok I feel dumb after looking at the comments. I thought you meant like... On rollercoaster rides or something.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Kangy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I'm 5ft11 and I think I just get rejected for being myself rather than my height 🤷🏼‍♂️

[–] dumbass@leminal.space 2 points 3 days ago

Same, 5ft11 as well, I think we're both too tall and too short for people.

My favorite height in a woman is the height of the woman who is interested in me.

[–] Kennystillalive@feddit.org 34 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Is that a problem I'm too tall to understand?

[–] MaggiWuerze@feddit.org 21 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (3 children)

Being 205cm (6'9"), yeah what kinda problem is that? Now let me go tend to the bump on my head from running into a doorframe again

[–] roofuskit@lemmy.world 11 points 5 days ago (5 children)

Fuck that, how expensive are your shoes?

load more comments (5 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] thevoidzero@lemmy.world 24 points 5 days ago

My ex did tell me I'm shorter than she wants her bf to be. I was still talker than her by 2-3 inch but she wanted me taller than her in heels. And suggested I do exercises to get taller.

I ended it with her soon after that. I think if someone has thought like that, there are other common patterns that makes the relationship too much to worth it. My wife now is same height as me and we're happy about that, height difference of several inches seems weird/difficult to imagine now.

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I'm a tall lady (for my area, though shortest of my siblings), about the average height of guys here, and yeah. Some guys have sounded very accusatory actually - as though I grew tall on purpose to make them feel short. Oddly enough, none of those were literally short guys.

No big deal, I like my height, shorter is not something I've ever wished to be. All 3 of my long term relationships have been with guys about my same height.

[–] Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 3 days ago

I'd consider myself to not care about if my partner was higher than me.
But if I am really honest with me, I do think it would hurt my pride if my partner was taller.
I am totally fine if equal or whatever else size. But I believe if the personality is near total hit and fits mine, I could totally see past that.

[–] starlinguk@lemmy.world 17 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I (woman, 5'10") was dumped for being too tall.

[–] Madagaskar_sky@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] WhyJiffie@sh.itjust.works 8 points 4 days ago (10 children)
load more comments (10 replies)
[–] El_guapazo@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago

I tell people I'm 4'23" and that sorts them out.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 10 points 4 days ago (4 children)

I can't ride the go karts at the nearby go kart track because I am too tall 😔

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] JayleneSlide@lemmy.world 24 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Regularly throughout my life. I'm also 5'7". It seems to be less of an issue now that I'm older. People are going to like what they like. But people who limit their choices to strict deterministic traits tend to completely skip right over awesome people, and then they wonder why they're partners are so terrible.

So yeah, this shit is going to happen. You'll also get chosen for your height. Focus on improving those physical traits over which you have control.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] urheber@discuss.tchncs.de 21 points 5 days ago (3 children)

ive never Been rejected, (i dont ASK people out)

That's the spirit!

[–] slaneesh_is_right@lemmy.org 5 points 4 days ago

Someone cracked the code i think

[–] Emi@ani.social 9 points 5 days ago

Same, I just awkwardly glance at them few times of I like them and hope they will ask me out. So far nobody asked me out.

[–] Flickerby@lemm.ee 10 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I lucked out into being born 5'10, not tall enough to need special clothes, but short enough so the shallow "6ft or nothing" women self filter themselves and I don't have to deal with them myself. I had a buddy who was 5'4ish who was an absolute disgusting human being but always blamed being alone on his height, also have a buddy who 5'2ish and married to an absolutely wonderful woman

[–] 0ops@lemm.ee 28 points 4 days ago

I lucked out into being born 5'10,

RIP mom

[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I thought this thread was talking about applying for jobs and was so confused

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Vanth@reddthat.com 17 points 5 days ago

Rowing club coach at a university I was interested in told me I was too short to bother trying out but if I dropped all muscle to squeak under 120 lbs I could try for coxswain.

Jokes on them, rowing generally requires waking up before the ass crack of dawn which was not conducive to my preferred college experience. I found rugby, which has way broader allowance for body type and no sunrise torture sessions.

[–] zaphodb2002@sh.itjust.works 16 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I am 5'4" and though no one has ever outright told me they rejected me because of it directly, it almost certainly is a leading reason I have fewer interested parties. It seems like most women specifically mention height in their requirements. It's too bad, I'd date a tall woman. Karlach is my favorite.

Being short helped me grow a personality and learn to be charismatic to overcome my height, and I've done okay, but it'd be foolish to say it's not a huge hurdle in dating.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] slaneesh_is_right@lemmy.org 7 points 4 days ago

I'm too tall for that. But on a lot of dates i go, the woman tells me that she's glad i'm tall and then tell me a story how they went on a date with a short guy and how awkward that was.

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

No, but I was rejected because I couldn't drive.

[–] Tehhund@lemmy.world 15 points 5 days ago (2 children)

No. I have doubts that it actually happens except in extremely rare instances. I wonder if some women blame a lack of attraction on height because saying other things gets an ever worse reaction?

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 11 points 5 days ago

Not to my face. But as someone else said, it's rare for you to be told the rejection reason (for early dating). There are a lot of reasons for this, but part of it is people kind of suck at taking rejection. And on top of that, a significant portion of men are dangerous.

No one wants to risk the man flipping out, spewing cruelty, or worse. A gentler letdown seems safer.

[–] BenjiRenji@feddit.org 4 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

I'm a tiny bit shorter than 5'7" and yes, rejected multiple times because of it, but they don't always tell you why, so some of it is speculation. I've dated taller women a few times as well, so it's not that bad. My wife now is a lot shorter though, but I don't think height played much a role for us. If I were much taller we may even be incompatible.

I'm 6'2" and I dated a woman taller than me. That was very odd not having to look down or crouch to hug. lol

I dated one woman who was so much shorter compared to me our favorite time to kiss was on the stairs.

[–] Elextra 7 points 5 days ago

Reading the thread. Most of you guys are not THAT short lol. I actually married my guy who is 5'1". He has a nice smile, funny and smart.

He has told me unfortunately that he has often been declined often by women due to his height. We have asked our mutual friends who said they won't date someone who is that short which is unfortunate because they all love him too.

He's pretty confident, professional, so people from work finally meet him in person, they are surprised he is not taller.

[–] justmercury@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I'm 5'8, plenty of men aren't interested in women as tall as they are.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Jimmycakes@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago

No. I got married before online dating existed

[–] Jaxia@startrek.website 9 points 5 days ago

Yes. Rejected to ride on the adult-sized go karts. Has to ride the kiddie bumper cars instead. But this was when I was younger.

load more comments
view more: next ›