this post was submitted on 29 May 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] Hupf@feddit.org 1 points 22 minutes ago

Speak softly but carry a big dick.

[–] 2ugly2live@lemmy.world 49 points 1 day ago (2 children)

All dicks are good dicks, just like all boobs are good boobs. Don't let your dreams be dreams.

[–] Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

As a pansexual man, I'd like to second this. All genitals are good genitals.

[–] EldenLord@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

But do you prefer non-stick or cast iron pans?

[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 23 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] altasshet@lemmy.ca 20 points 1 day ago

That one's tricky

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 59 points 1 day ago

Fake: Anon has sex with a woman

Gay: Anon started this whole thread just to get guys to talk about dicks.

[–] TomasEkeli@programming.dev 35 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Remember having that boring conversation about size, and a girl in the group summed it up perfectly: "The most important thing is the guy it's connected to"

[–] Default_Defect@midwest.social 7 points 23 hours ago

Maybe when "small dick energy" stops being a common insult, I'll believe that.

[–] Jiggle_Physics@sh.itjust.works 20 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Have I met girls that will outright reject anyone who doesn't have like 7 inches, or more? Yes. Have they been anywhere near a representative portion of women? No.

[–] CancerMancer@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 hours ago

Just ask them how long 7 inches is. Prepare for an eye-opening experience.

Like the women that are up front about their demands for prospective partner’s earnings.

Sure, they’re honest.

Honestly best avoided.

[–] Allero@lemmy.today 70 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (11 children)

Let's put that super clear:

There. Is. No. Good. Dick. Size.

There are ladies that prefer 8 inches, and ladies that prefer 4.

Some will not feel it deep enough, some others will say it hurts because it's too deep.

Just...make sure you and your partner find a way to make good use of whatever you've got. Select poses that will set you on the right depth, do magic with other sorts of penetrative and non-penetrative sex, and just listen to each other's bodies.

Also, to everyone who goes with "big dick = alpha" shit, you're both wrong and make it hard to unfuck some guys' minds on what makes them good for sex.

[–] Anomalocaris@lemm.ee 27 points 1 day ago (10 children)

if you have a dick at all you should consider yourself lucky. half the population are born with a condition that causes dicklessness.

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[–] rustyfish@lemmy.world 213 points 2 days ago (6 children)

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but:

Do not take dating advice from people who never dated.

Do not take relationship advice from people who never had a relationship.

Do not take sex advice from people who never fucked.

And especially do none of these things on 4chan.

[–] Nangijala@feddit.dk 69 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Seriously, I have been in a relationship for a decade and a half and some of the relationship advice I have seen men give other men on the internet the past several years tells me that they have never been in stable relationships themselves.

It also tells me that most of them have no clue what women want.

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[–] DrivebyHaiku@lemmy.ca 68 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Aight, so whomever needs to hear this. The average vaginal canal is only about 3-4 inches long and might lengthen to about 5 inches if relaxed. Despite what bad porn anatomy might tell you it can hurt to go deeper than that. All of the nerve endings are clustered at the opening.

The prostate is two inches deep. Virtually all the same mechanics apply.

Your penis is fine.

[–] BreakerSwitch@lemm.ee 24 points 1 day ago (14 children)

This is the correct take. As someone well endowed, I get to either be real real careful and avoid a lot of positions, or date exclusively masochistic girls who want it to hurt. As a result, I have had the thought "I'm not sadistic enough for this girl" during sex before.

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[–] helpmyusernamewontfi@lemmy.today 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 6 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] owl@infosec.pub 6 points 23 hours ago

Pic is talking shit about people's moms in the cod lobby.

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[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 21 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Is that not an ideal size for most? It seems so. Don't think anyone should say they are packing "only 5.5", that's at least average, maybe more. Preferences vary of course, but this seems a crowdpleaser size.

[–] mydoomlessaccount@infosec.pub 11 points 1 day ago

What a coincidence! I call mine The Crowdpleaser

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[–] Fleur_@aussie.zone 120 points 2 days ago (12 children)

To every guy feeling a little self conscious about size, try putting something the same size as your penis inside you. It'll feel a lot bigger after that.

[–] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 1 points 4 hours ago

instructions unclear, learned I enjoy a larger member than my wife does

[–] Landless2029@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Less painful. Take a piece of paper and cut it your your length and girth (roll it into a tube and tape it). Then hold it up to your face.

Looks way bigger up close.

[–] OhVenus_Baby@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 day ago

😂 I am dead. It's time to get off lemmy for the night.

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