this post was submitted on 21 May 2025
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[–] TheDoozer@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

That's a short conversation for me:

Anything medium/large-dog size and larger, no.

Below that it can certainly depend (like a venomous snake? We'll both lose. Eagle? Honestly no fucking clue. If I got a hit in, it would be done, but I'm not sure I'd get a strike in).

[–] andybytes@programming.dev 1 points 4 hours ago

Then no... Hahajah

[–] Machinist@lemmy.world 8 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Every fucking time this is posted. Goddamit, OP, they'll be at this shit for hours like crows with a diamond ring.

[–] CtrlAltDefeat@sh.itjust.works 3 points 6 hours ago (1 children)
[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 3 points 5 hours ago

Think I can beat that one

[–] Wilco@lemm.ee 17 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

What is the horse going to do with prep time? What am I missing? This seems crucial.

[–] nyctre@lemmy.world 10 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

He could have someone put some armor on, I imagine.

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 9 points 11 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

Now my scenario of shooting the horse while standing outside of its pen seems not as unfair. Guess I have to go with the mortar idea someone else suggested.

[–] FreshLight@sh.itjust.works 11 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Is it okay to use the surroundings? Humans are good with this. Also with improvising tools. It's kind of our thing. (If we take this away, we'll be way worse but I would get it.) The problem with that is that it's super hard to measure. I could take on a horse in a jungle, I think, but not in the Eurasian Steppe.

It also depends on the age and character of the animal. I was able to grab a swan by its neck and throw it away because it was barely an adult. I bet it would have been a lot harder if it was a year older and even more aggressive. (This was in self defence of course)

Another thing to consider is the premise. Do I choose an animal and the animal is not aware of the danger? Is it aggressive towards me in the normal range of its species? Does the animal try to kill me with all of its power?

[–] dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de 11 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)

If I hear of people grabbing animals by the neck and throwing them away I’d normally be concerned but if you tell me it was a Swan or a Goose I’m like yeah makes sense, they probably deserve it the aggressive little pricks.

[–] Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 14 hours ago

Just the one hour?

I mean, just to cover the invertebrates part of the list would be several hours.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 38 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (7 children)

A single rear leg kick from a horse can easily break your skull apart, snap your neck or spine, cave in your entire chest, snap your femur, shatter your hip.

One good connecting hit and basically 99% of people are dead, paralyzed for life, or at best, extremely seriously injured and needing immediate hospitalization.

An unarmed human is not going to win an aggro'd fight with a horse in some kind of cage match scenario, unless its very young, very old, or quite sick or already injured.

Horses can be very dumb though: In a more real world scenario, you may be able to spook them into breaking their own legs on uneven ground, or even just running off of a goddamned cliff or into a tree or some other obstacle.

Alternatively: Spend the hour of prep time getting horse feed and poison.

Don't fight it, befriend it, and then betray that trust.

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[–] Snowclone@lemmy.world 6 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

he better be riding the horse over a rocky steep incline and not actually trying to fight it. why do they go for big animals? I can take a cat. maybe. most birds native to North America.

[–] Alfredolin@sopuli.xyz 3 points 16 hours ago

A cat can be nasty. If it goes straight for your eyes with its sharp claws you are fucked… If you manage to kick it properly first, then it's fucked. I think the outcome of the fight can really be black or white.

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[–] MegaUltraChicken@lemmy.world 58 points 1 day ago (8 children)

There's no way a single dude is dropping a horse with their bare hands.

[–] Septimaeus@infosec.pub 2 points 16 hours ago

Just wait it out. Domestic horses are good at dropping themselves.

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[–] djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 1 day ago (17 children)

My rule is anything smaller than my knees is gettin it's ass kicked. I've got strong legs and decent form while kicking, and so far haven't found a creature that size I couldn't fend off with a good hit. So far that's mostly meant wild dogs and a goose.

[–] Master@lemm.ee 6 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Wild boar has used tusk to knee. It is really effective!

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[–] spittingimage@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago (3 children)

What's the girl equivalent of this? I'd like to have some conversations with my wife that don't send her off on list-making/plan-making expeditions or remind her of something she wanted to research on the internet.

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 2 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

"What do you want to eat tonight?"

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 3 points 7 hours ago

"Which one of your friends could you take in a fight?"

[–] FloatingAlong@lemm.ee 7 points 1 day ago

Try the same question. Maybe just a slightly smaller horse. Prep-time negotiable.

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 41 points 1 day ago (14 children)

Animals I have beaten in a fight:

Feral dogs.

Feral dogs likely mixed with eastern coyote. I cheated though, I shot them.


Animals that have beaten me in a fight:

Geese.

A catfish (in my defense, it was massive and the fight was in the water. On land I would have won)

Humans.


Animals I have run from rather than fight:

Hornets.

Bears. Black bear, we startled each other, then I left a trickle down my leg while I ran.

A big pack of dogs. Wasn't armed, and saw them coming.


My record is not exactly impressive

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 3 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

I left a trickle down my leg while I ran.

Wow, sexy bear, huh?

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[–] PoPoP@lemm.ee 5 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Unarmed, I think I could comfortably defeat almost any four legged creature that stands lower than my knee.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 13 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

I want to see you fight a crocodile.

[–] PoPoP@lemm.ee 9 points 21 hours ago

I was very clear when I said almost

[–] Alfredolin@sopuli.xyz 1 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

Ffff... scrblmlmlblm chewing noises

[–] Axeman666@sh.itjust.works 2 points 19 hours ago

I grow out my nails for acoustic guitar so I technically always have a weapon for eye gouging. After blinding the beast I'd go after their throat as hard and as many times as I can while trying to keep distance where possible. It would never work on obvious human killing machines like tigers, gorrilas, bears, etcetera, but it might be helpful on a wolf or anything I can get my arms around. I'm getting older and don't have the stamina for fighting that I used to though so I'll probably die.

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