this post was submitted on 26 Apr 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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Its the 14th century and you've had no time to prepare, after you're done reading this post you are snapped. What do you do?

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[–] softcat@lemmy.ca 146 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] CarbonatedPastaSauce@lemmy.world 40 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Yeah, this. I have medications I need. When the pair of contacts in my eyes fall out eventually, I'm functionally blind. All that aside, I'd probably starve quickly since I don't know how to make weapons ~~and other humans haven't made it to where I live yet in 1375~~ nevermind, I'm high. The humans that are there would probably kill me on sight though.

I'd probably look around for a couple days and then when I got super hungry just find a cliff to jump off.

[–] adarza@lemmy.ca 17 points 1 week ago

and if you manage to evade physical harm, sickness will surely catch up with you. the black death was not a 'one and done' pandemic. it lingered and persisted here-and-there for centuries after the widespread pandemic (known today simply as 'the plague') that claimed 50m+ lives, including half of europe's population at the time

[–] tiredofsametab@fedia.io 81 points 1 week ago (6 children)

If I snapped you back in time 650 years

2025 - 650 =1375

Its the 12th century

1375 is the 14th century. Which do you mean?

Answering the actual question, nothing good would come of it if my location on earth didn't change. Being the only white person in rural northern Japan well before Europeans came in the 1500s would probably not be a good situation for me. The language, at least the written one, was very different. Being the Nanboku-chō era, things would probably be not great since it was in the midst of 60ish years of war with two different people claiming to be in charge. I can't find, at least before my coffee kicks in, exactly what kinda state Mutsu Province, as it was then called, was in at the time.

[–] otp@sh.itjust.works 31 points 1 week ago (2 children)

English would also be unrecognizable in 1375. At a glance, it seems like it was Middle English, which means you'd probably get as much intelligibility with any other English speakers as a monolingual Dutch speaker would have with a monolingual English speaker today. Maybe a bit closer, but still.

Shakespeare was still hundreds of years away.

...Not that any of this would matter to anyone living in North America.

[–] yoevli@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago

Middle English is certainly difficult to understand, but most words still bear some resemblance to modern English. I think it would probably be more like a native German speaker trying to understand a heavy Bavarian dialect, or at worst a Dutch speaker trying to understand the same.

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[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 71 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

I'd use my knowledge of the future to do two chicks at the same time

[–] kmartburrito@lemmy.world 47 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] GoofSchmoofer@lemmy.world 21 points 1 week ago

... and B too

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[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago

well I'm a woman so anything I do will be witchcreaft. I would probably try to get to north america in some way and warn them "the fuckers are coming".

that would mess up the future lol

[–] Geetnerd@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"You don't need that knowledge to do two chicks at the same time, man."

"If you want two chicks to double up on a dude like me, you do."

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 14 points 1 week ago (4 children)

"Hey ladies... Ever been with a guy who can read?"

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[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 59 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'll probably die of dysentery. Just because I know modern hygiene rules doesn't mean I'll survive interacting with all the other people who don't but are used to local bacteria and viruses.

[–] andrewta@lemmy.world 29 points 1 week ago (2 children)

This is probably the most realistic answer. Either you die quickly or you’d wind up, spreading some major contagious disease that nobody has a defense against and wipe out a huge section of the population.

[–] gibmiser@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

spreading some major contagious disease that nobody has a defense against and wipe out a huge section of the population.

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[–] ultranaut@lemmy.world 43 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Assuming I am physically in the same place, I will fall to my death. If I somehow survive the fall I would be severely injured and alone in the wilderness. Within a few days I would probably die of either my injuries, dehydration, or hypothermia.

[–] SendMePhotos@lemmy.world 28 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Scientifically speaking, the earth is constantly moving in an upward spiral. Your exact physical location would put you in some random outerspace area without oxygen or any protection. Just floating in space until you die.

[–] JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee 22 points 1 week ago

Scientifically speaking, there is no absolute reference frame. So you can be wherever you like depending on what reference you choose.

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[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 42 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I'm on the Gregorian calendar, 650 years ago is the year 1375. I'm in North Carolina, so if I were to snap back in time at my present location I would be a blue eyed white guy in pre-contact North America. And while I think I'm an above average candidate for the Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court scenario I'm not realistically able to start "from scratch." I'd probably make it the summer on forage and my own body fat. I don't picture encountering the natives going particularly well, for me or them. I'm not sick and I'm vaccinated against a lot of shit but watch I'll give them 6 centuries worth of influenza updates.

I don't think it would help that much being plunked down in 14th century England; we're talking Geoffrey Chaucer's lifetime here, to them I'd sound insane. Modern English is a few hundred years off. If they didn't trepan me to let the demons out of my skull and I didn't die of smallpox, I'd try to invent the electric motor 500 years early and be burned for heresy or some shit.

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[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 42 points 1 week ago

Well, I would give you the answer, but since I snapped back as soon as I read the post, I'm now responding what has been 650 years later for me, and I'm too fucking old for this shit a second time. I bypassed getting snapped back this time by just not reading the post and coming straight in to comment.

Now, what will happen if I read the

[–] null_dot@lemmy.dbzer0.com 40 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Double entry accounting system.

I'm an accountant by trade. The double entry system wasn't invented until the 15th century.

I could account for any lords various assets, goods, and livestock in an efficient, reliable and accurate manner

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[–] LordWiggle@lemmy.world 37 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I would kill everyone I meet with the plagues I carry which I'm immune to.

[–] ChairmanMeow@programming.dev 27 points 1 week ago

You might have a bad time with all the plagues that have gone extinct since then.

[–] PahdyGnome@lemmy.world 36 points 1 week ago (2 children)

As an Australian I would struggle significantly unless you were to also transport me geographically.

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[–] biofaust@lemmy.world 34 points 1 week ago (10 children)
[–] feddup@feddit.uk 15 points 1 week ago (2 children)

The definition of succeeding just becomes not dying.

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[–] MisanthropiCynic@lemm.ee 30 points 1 week ago

Die because my medications haven’t been invented yet.

Or be murdered because I’m not christian

[–] Bieren@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Nothing. I’d sit under an tree and enjoy the peace and quiet. No trump. No DC. No MAGA. No reporters. No non stop ads. No social media. No Google. No Elon. No bezos. The list goes on. Sure I’d probably die of some random disease or bandits. But I’d be okay with it at that point.

[–] jj4211@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Well you can do that today. Find a tree out in the middle of nowhere and sit under it without any electronic devices. Then you are oblivious to all that stuff. You may be bothered by the fact that the things are still happening, but there are also plenty of horrific things happening in that time period you went to, you just won't be keeping track of them.

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[–] BrazenSigilos@ttrpg.network 23 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Market myself as a powerful man of religion and/or magician, depending on the local vibe. Then use knowledge of science and tech to build myself a reclusive retreat where I can have regular baths and write books with predictions to mess with the world 650 years after I would die.

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[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 21 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I know thousands of songs. Also, musical instruments like the saxaphone haven't been invented yet.

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[–] blaue_Fledermaus@mstdn.io 21 points 1 week ago

If I time traveled to the same geographical region, considering I'm in South Brazil, if I don't get immediately killed by some jungle animal or tropical disease, I'd probably end up starting a pandemic among the natives.

[–] xylogx@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago (2 children)

You would die. There are many, many examples of explorers from “advanced” civilizations getting shipwrecked or stranded in an area where primitive hunter-gatherers live. Unless they are saved by the hunter gatherers, they are doomed, despite their knowledge of science and technology. Joseph Henrich talks extensively about these examples in his book, “The Secret of Our Success”

Check out this video to get an idea -> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jaoQh6BoH3c

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I'm in the US and in a place that native Americans didn't have settlements. I'm very familiar with the area and have hunted, hiked, and camped here my entire life. With no preparation or modern equipment I give myself about a week before I get eaten by wolves or a bear, maybe gored by an elk or bitten by a venomous snake. I don't expect that I would see another human during that week. Native hunting parties visited the area so it's not impossible that I would see someone but it's very unlikely.

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I would pretend to be super-religious. Throughout the whole of human history, pretending to be super-religious has always been a viable path to survival and personal advancement.

Apart from that, I'd probably just die.

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[–] palordrolap@fedia.io 17 points 1 week ago (2 children)

It's 1375 and I'm asphyxiating somewhere in the Milky Way about 600 light years from Earth.

But let's assume that somehow my latitude, longitude and altitude relative to Earth somehow remain the same. Now I'm spawning several feet in the air probably in sight of several villagers. If I'm lucky, they'll think I was sent by God. If not I'm gonna have a real bad time. There's a good chance I'll break a bone in the fall, and that's not going to go well at all.

But let's assume there are trees here. Lots of them. That's actually pretty likely. They hide my sudden appearance and mitigate bone breakages.

Now I'm on the outskirts of a village, battered and bruised and very strangely dressed. I don't speak any language they'll understand despite technically being from that area. Middle English is the language of the day, and I speak something that won't evolve for at least another 200-250 years. Shakespeare is technically modern English and is hard to comprehend sometimes. Here we're talking Chaucer and that's pretty much opaque.

I'm literate, but not in Latin, and that's the language of the Church. I'm numerate, but they haven't got beyond Roman numerals yet.

I'm not even sure where the church is. I know where it is in the modern day, but that building's no more than 200 years old. Maybe it's on the same site. I'd head there for shelter at least.

I know the Lord's Prayer in modern English. Chanting that quietly might spark some recognition in anyone present but then it might count as blasphemy to say it in anything other than Catholic-Church-approved Latin.

Come to think of it, I could probably blow a couple of minds by writing the alphabet they know and then the same with the extra letters that have been added since.

And then I'd be burned as a witch.

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[–] wewbull@feddit.uk 17 points 1 week ago (4 children)

1375....

We can work with metals, so we can probably make boilers.

I invent steam power 400 years early.

[–] superkret@feddit.org 17 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

You'd need metallurgy which was only invented in the process of building bigger naval guns, much later.
The issue was pressurizing the steam, which wasn't possible in the middle ages. You had no rubber for seals, no steel that would hold, and no tools to drill holes precisely enough.
That's why the Romans already used steam for simple parlor tricks but it couldn't be made to do actual work until the modern era

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[–] VinesNFluff@pawb.social 17 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

612 years in the past
In Brazil. So almost a century before the first europeans landed here. I'm assuming I just plop exactly in my relative earth-location, but in the distant past. (... It would be really funny if this was overly literal, because I'm currently in the 12th floor, so I'd thanos snap into the past and immediately fall to my death)

Well

As a person from modern times -- From AFTER the Americas came into contact with Europe, if I went near a person here in the Land of Palms (that's what the natives called Brazil!) from those times we'd both get horribly infected and die a lot due to how antibodies work. Viruses did a lot of the legwork in genociding the natives. Euros would deliberately do things to infect natives so they'd die of illness.

The place I currently live in is slowly turning into a desert, but was a deep jungle back then (... It was still a deep jungle in the 1910s tbqh).

.......... I think I'd just die? Become food for a jaguar or eat a poisonous fungus or sth.

Would love to indulge in the fantasy of giving the Guarani people guns and a warning to shoot white people on sight just to see how history would change, but that ain't happening.

[–] Supervisor194@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago

Wait 612 years and buy Microsoft.

[–] Apeman42@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago

Try to find the nearest shaman, apothecary or herbalist and trade my future clothes/pocket contents for some hallucinogens and painless poison. I ain't living through a time before electricity.

[–] schnurrito@discuss.tchncs.de 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

What place do I get teleported to? If I'm teleported to the same place on Earth, then I just fell down several meters into a swamp and am probably going to die here.

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[–] untakenusername@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I reread the Bitcoin paper yesterday, so with my newly refreshed knowledge id find the nearest mathimation, explain it to them, implement the protocol with paper records, handwritten hashes, and messages on horseback or something. After a few years when every major economic power realizes how valuable a deflationary currency that Mansa Musa doesn't control (14th century african gold-salt bazzilionare, ~400 bill USD today), the price of my currency would increase vastly, making me super rich.

[–] Evotech@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] pan0wski@infosec.pub 15 points 1 week ago

I'd die pretty quickly.

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