this post was submitted on 02 Apr 2025
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Just the title

Seen lots of people moving to big places , but im from a small town and id go back there in a heartbeat if i had WFH option (not possible with current job)

To clarify, im a European and its a question for everyone , not just americans!

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[–] 2ugly2live@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Usually those places are lacking (unfortunately). Food deserts, lack of infrastructure, sometimes even poor medical facilities. Also, locations like these tend to be more conservative, and conservatives are not always the most friendly. I personally did move to a smaller area, but I don't have a family/kids so I'm able to be more indifferent towards the lack of resources. (I also moved to the hood 👀)

Related meme:

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 6 points 1 day ago

The majority of jobs simply don't allow any sort of WFH: if it involves creating or transforming something, people have to be physically manning the tools. Healthcare can't be WFH, education sucks when it's fully online.

Smaller communities are great for peace and quiet, but terrible when you need anything they don't have (or don't have in decent quality), like jobs, transportation, healthcare and education. If you happen to be "socially weird", you have to adapt and "unweird" yourself

[–] tiny@midwest.social 10 points 1 day ago

The reasons I moved from a town of 3,500 people to around 100,000 people after 2 years are

More dating options: most of the women in the small town I lived in were already in relationships or weren't compatible. I started dating my wife a few months after I moved

Better access to services: if I wanted to get groceries on Sunday I would have to drive 30 minutes to the next town over and banks would be closed before 5. The local restaurants were good but there were only a few.

Better access to fun stuff: I train jiu jitsu and the closest gym to where I lived was a 50 minute drive 1 way and the closest 10+ mile bike trail was 30 minutes away. I would stay at my friend's house overnight or get a hotel so I could have a decent night on the town since it was also 50 minutes away from home

There are opportunities to have fun and build a happy life in small towns but if you have niche interests then it can be a little lonely. Plus some of the activities are private so it can be harder to find them and access them.

The upside was the people there are really nice and it was really cheap to live there so I paid off a ton of debt.

[–] BmeBenji@lemm.ee 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

As an American (not that it’s particularly unique from Europe) living in a city feels much better because I’m not completely tied to my car. Living in suburbs and rural areas makes it far less tenable to walk or bike anywhere. Cities are the only place with any sort of public transportation or even pedestrian infrastructure that is remotely walker-friendly. Walking is not only more physically healthy it also makes me feel better emotionally

[–] vvilld@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

WFH isn't available to most people. To have a WFH opportunity, you have to have a job that's almost entirely done on a computer with no need to be on-site almost ever. That's just not a reality for most people. For some? Sure. But even most people with jobs that are largely WFH still have to go into their office once or twice a week.

[–] synicalx@lemm.ee 5 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Australian here; I much prefer living away from cities. I like having a big house on a big block with lots of nature and as few other people around me as possible.

The catch is while the housing and land is wayyyy cheaper, other stuff is more expensive and inconvenient. The biggest thing people don’t consider is trades people; you’ll have plumbers, sparkies etc just refuse to even come out when they find out you’re more than half an hour away from civilisation, and if they do come out they charge for the travel.

[–] y0kai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 day ago

Semi-unrelated: I I love Aussie slang.

Block for lot? Sparky for electrician? Whippersnipper for weedeater? Barbie for BBQ? Cunt for everything else?

Fucking YES lol I want more

I have found the opposite in rural Michigan (northern US). My wife's family has a vacation home, and skilled tradespeople are slightly cheaper around there. The place is more than an hour from any large towns, but 30 minutes from several small towns.

Maybe population is distributed differently here due to the way infrastructure is funded?

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

My mom came from a small town and said she'd never raise a kid in a small town - her cousins, all save one, were in jail or pregnant before they graduated high school. Because there was literally nothing to do.

I like having restaurants, a good library system, concerts, bars, not needing to drive to get anything. I like living in a mid-sized city, but if I couldn't, would go bigger not smaller.

[–] SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

I don't like conservative communities, i get threatened for not being a white man

All small communities left in the US are just the angry conservatives who were too stubborn to leave.

[–] tiefling@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I've personally been thriving since moving to a big city. I never want to go back to the middle of nowhere. I enjoy urban exploration, I love the diversity of business and people, and I love the sheer amount of community that exists. I love that there's always new things to find. That just doesn't exist outside of cities.

[–] venotic@kbin.melroy.org 10 points 1 day ago

As someone who has lived in a couple of small places before, for me it's accessibility. The first place I lived at for the longest since birth pretty much, there were so few places to go to. You had to kill 45 miles back and to, to get anywhere and that ate a lot of gas to do so. My place of origin, didn't really put anything interesting down that would attract more people to want to go to, converse in or conduct commerce in. Yeah the small community may have bonded people together, but it was all still relatively small.

Where I am at now, it feels bigger, there's more opportunity around and everything. I'm having a bit of a difficult time imagining where I could go if I decide to move that equals where I'm living now.

[–] otp@sh.itjust.works 20 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I don't drive. Where I live, you can really only "not drive" in cities. And even then, it can be hard at times.

At the same time, I live within reasonable commuting distance of multiple friends and family members. I can walk to a few of them. I don't need to be closer to my community.

I might want to retire someplace quieter, but I like being able to hop on a train or a bus to get to somewhere fun, or to be able to walk across the street to a store if I need something. Heck, I can even easily get takeout if I don't feel like cooking -- I don't even need delivery.

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I can even easily get takeout if I don’t feel like

And I’ll take that up a notch. I currently live in a small city outside a large one, and I can walk to get takeout, from

  • American diner
  • Greek kebabs
  • Pakistani kebabs
  • several Indian restaurants
  • several Chinese restaurants
  • several Mexican restaurants
  • at least one Salvadoran
  • at least one Chilean
  • some sort of African thing I haven’t yet tried
  • ….. and so many more

Our new family activity for pandemic was to walk for takeout from the new Punjabi restaurant, and eat dinner on a bench in the town common….. try that in your small town

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

When we lived in a bigger place, we got used to going down to the massive Asian supermarket, the French bakery, the Balkan place down the street, the dirt-cheap Salvadorean/pupusa place. I admit I did start taking it for granted, then moved away and remembered, "Oh, right, they don't have cool stuff everywhere."

[–] infinitevalence@discuss.online 58 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

Remember when American tax payers gave billions to telecoms to install fiber in rural America?

Don't worry they conveniently forgot too.

That plus other services like rural hospitals and education are huge drawbacks to living in most of rural America.

[–] treadful@lemmy.zip 22 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Also a bunch of other issues with small town living like lack of privacy/anonymity, entertainment, restaurants, government services, etc... And these problems get more severe the smaller the community.

But people really did spread out to smaller towns during COVID. Property values went crazy in a lot of small towns around me.

[–] bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I live in a small mountain town, and property values went apeshit. Like a house/cabin that was $150-250k is now $4-500k. It's insane.

Privacy and anonymity is definitely still a thing as long as you keep you business to yourself, because as I'm guessing you're alluding to, people are pretty chatty as it is and a smaller population makes it more difficult. It also helps to not be an asshole and give people even more to talk about, especially when most everyone knows each other.

[–] XeroxCool@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Even without direct interaction, it's easier to know someone as "the guy in the cabin on hillside road with the blue Honda CRV and the beard". I assume that's what the comment meant since they tied privacy to anonymity

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[–] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago

Remember when American tax payers gave billions to telecoms to install fiber in rural America?

It's actually happened multiple times...

I remember two off the top of my head, but it's possible there was a couple more

[–] renamon_silver@lemmy.wtf 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

There is not enough stimulation in a small community. In the US, they are also usually full of hateful/ignorant people.

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 40 points 2 days ago (1 children)

European

As an American, it's because there's nothing out there. We have SO much land. A small town means you have to drive everywhere. It means the local grocery is 30 min away. It also means 300 people in the town, one library (maybe), but at least three churches. Very much not my vibe :-)

Not everywhere, obviously, but it's a thing.

[–] adespoton@lemmy.ca 13 points 2 days ago (3 children)

I live in a city of over 100,000 people and my grocery store is 25 minutes away. About an hour if I walk.

I grew up in a small town and had two grocery stores within 8 minutes. Everything was a lot more expensive and there was less selection.

Moved because of the lack of services (no hospital, volunteer FD and ambulance, no high school, no college nearby, no taxi service, no bus service, everything shut down at 6 PM).

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[–] vividspecter@lemm.ee 32 points 2 days ago (4 children)
  • Poor infrastructure in many of these communities, and no way to get to larger towns and cities without a car. So you're stuck with crappy chain stores and terrible quality food, harming your health. And it's boring, because it can't support many kinds of entertainment.

  • Smaller communities tend to skew towards conservatives, and there's little way to escape from it (due to the distances and the lack of high speed rail). So expect more religiosity, more discrimination, and politicians that are even shittier than the average.

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[–] Azzu@lemm.ee 24 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I'm weird as fuck. Other people who are as weird as fuck as me are possible to be found, but a small community makes it unlikely if not impossible. People as weird as me can only really be found in a big enough place with enough people.

And yeah, there's also just much more to do than in a smaller town. Taking 30-45 minutes to arrive at something you wanna do is a significant hurdle compared to 5-10 minutes.

[–] jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 0 points 1 day ago

I live in New York City and have no desire to move to the suburbs or countryside. It's great here.

  • I can walk to most of my needs. Several grocery stores, pharmacies, a big park, bars, restaurants. I don't need a car.
  • there's a thriving music scene. I can go see live stuff of many genres every night if I want
  • a deep dating pool. Lots of people. Lots of queer people too, if that's your jam.
  • I like there being people around. The empty streets of the suburbs feel spooky and hostile to me.
  • more people means it's easier to get group activities going. Join a soccer team. Brass band. Bird watching group. Knitting community. There's everything. Usually more than one, in case a particular group isn't your vibe.
  • stuff is open later.

Some of the things people imagine about cities aren't really true

  • it's not constant noise
  • I typically can't hear my neighbors
  • people don't typically interact with you on the street, but if you need help someone will usually step up
  • it's not shoulder to shoulder constantly. People seem to imagine it's always times Square on NYE, but it's just not.

While you're not unseen like you might be in the countryside, no one really cares that they do see you.

Some people want "more space" but I don't really know what for. A one bedroom apartment is fine for me. What would I do with more rooms?

If I had kids, I wouldn't want to put them in the suburban hell cage like I had. Nothing to do. Can't get anywhere on your own. Don't like the few dozen kids in your school? Well that's your whole pool of friendship options. I was always so jealous of the kids I knew that lived in the city. They could just get on the train and go to the beach, or go skating, or go to a punk show, or whatever. I had to beg my parents to drive me anywhere interesting, and usually they didn't want to.

[–] reluctant_squidd@lemmy.ca 6 points 2 days ago (3 children)

TL;DR: capitalism.

I’ve put some thought into this and I don’t have a good answer other than because of how society is designed to keep us from doing it now.

Evolutionarily speaking, we are designed to thrive in smaller communities. It’s only in the more recent part of humanity that we seem to have moved away from that. I mean, there were still cities a long time ago, but within them were what could be thought of as smaller communities.

I myself am of European descent, but currently live in a place where there is a thriving native community and realizing that I sometimes have envy of some of their ways of life is what got me thinking.

For instance, in western society becoming elderly is almost seen as a problem, like a burden that needs to be “dealt” with. For them it is a station of respect and reverence. If an Elder walks down the street, they are taught to show respect and pay heed to their wisdom and guidance. If the rest of us are lucky, we can get a seniors discount at select stores by declaring they we are among the needy.

I’ve even went as far as researching communal living, intentional communities and cooperative housing, but I keep chickening out when it comes time to pull anything into action.

The idea of finding 4-6 like-minded families to share resources with and use our individual talents and skills to help each other really appeals to me. It makes sense to build resilience against harder times.

But to answer your question, smaller communities helping each other is against the capitalist ideal and is/will be thwarted at any scale by corporations and corporate influenced governments alike at every turn. So I guess that’s the most likely reason.

[–] Fredthefishlord@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Seniors who show they deserve respect should be given it. But plenty do not.

[–] reluctant_squidd@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 day ago

I hear you and agree, but part of me wonders if that is solely because they were always nasty people, or they are actually reacting to the awful way they get treated.

They are already probably dealing with failing health, burying most of their friends, not understanding most of what is going on in the world, feeling left behind, etc.

In their shoes I’m not sure if I could be very cheerful myself. Maybe I’ll get the opportunity to find out and hopefully I’ll not be one of the ones you mention, but who knows.

Most of us are tired from all the crap of the world already, imagine 30-40 more years of that on top of the things I just mentioned.

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[–] gusgalarnyk@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (5 children)

The more wealth inequality grows the less important 99% of the population is as consumers and the more important the 1% becomes. As our governments go increasingly into debt to the benefit of only the rich, infrastructure will continue to suffer. As wealth inequality grows the standard of living for the 99% will continue to decline, making the ability to own assets like housing an impossibility.

Add these factors together and you can see why people are forced to move to where the rich are, because that's where the business is, because they're the only people with enough money to constitute a customer, and because everyone else doesn't have the money or infrastructure to go where they'd like to regardless of business smaller communities get choked out.

The only way to get the life you deserve, a better life for everyone in your country regardless of where you are in the world, is to tax the rich out of existence. Remove the possibility of becoming a threat to organized society, to democracy. Remove the threat of amassing wealth beyond reason and watch as your country becomes profitable, your job pays you more, the price of goods and services go down, and the quality of life for everyone begins to rise instead of plateau or decline.

[–] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The more wealth inequality grows the less important 99% of the population is as consumers and the more important the 1% becomes.

Not as consumers, no. The 1% doesn't consume more than the 90th percentile. They just park a higher percentage of their wealth in wealth-generating financial assets, which leech wealth from the rest of society.

We need a tax on all registered securities, (with exemption for the first $10 million owned by a natural person.) That tax should be paid not in cash, but in shares of the security: the IRS should slowly liquidate those shares over time, such that IRS sales never constitute more than 1% of total traded volume.

We further need the punitively-high top-tier tax rate we had for most of the 20th century. That tax rate pushed businesses to spend their excess income, turning it into other people's paychecks. It discouraged the kind of wealth-hoarding investment that is stunting consumer spending.

[–] gusgalarnyk@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

"Not as consumers, no. The 1% doesn't consume more than the 90th percentile."

But that's the thing, as the wages of workers goes down their ability to consume goes down as well. Sure they'll never stop needing food and clothes but new cars, sushi, new TVs, vacations, preventative healthcare, higher education, etc - these things become impossible. Debt will surely be the next step to keep the engine running but that will only accelerate the transfer of wealth because debt is paid to those who have assets. And quite frankly we're already there - university (in the US), the rise of buy now and pay later programs, healthcare the moment you need to use it - these things require massive debt today. It'll only get worse.

As wealth gets drained from the working class into the owning class, the only meaningful consumers for the majority of goods and services will be the owning class. Services will increasingly be focused on the wealthy or on methods of serving the poor via borrowing from the rich (which only exasperates their poverty).

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I remember some guy, anthropologist or something like that, was trying to figure out why it was that people in cities made on average more money than people in small towns or rural areas, until it hit him: That's why cities exist in the first place.

[–] Nemo@slrpnk.net 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

My neighborhood is my "small community". I don't need to leave the city for that.

[–] Zentron@lemm.ee 8 points 2 days ago

Interesting .. usually where i live, neighbourhoods in big cities arent well connected so i never saw it that way i guess ?

More power to people who can organise like that !

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 days ago

Infintevalence pretty much nailed it

We're country as fuck up here. Not a small town any more, but still more rural than suburban.

While we're in driving distance of a good hospital, it's a drive, not something in town. There's just not enough people to keep a hospital in use often enough to make it reasonable in a capitalist system at all, but even in an ideal, post scarcity system, the resources to build and run hospitals are going to be best located where the most people can benefit from it.

And pretty much everything scales the same. Why locate a big university in a town with maybe 10k people if you include outlying areas? To support that kind of endeavor, you'd need more people to do the work, so the town would get bigger because of the large undertaking.

It's a balance. If you want to have bigger centralized services, you need more people to make it work. And, if you don't already have the population, attracting bigger things is harder, so the chances of things like public transit, resource intensive facilities, exotic supplies/foods coming there are lower.

It results in people that value the benefits of a smaller population center over the usual benefits of a bigger center being the only ones that'll move out

[–] thebigslime@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago
[–] HelixDab2@lemm.ee 9 points 2 days ago

If I could get a fully remote job and move to the middle of BFE... Well, I'm considering doing that without a remote job, and just accepting that any job I can get will take a longer commute and probably earn pay less. I lived in Chicago for more than a decade, lived in San Diego a few years. Currently I live in a rural part of my state, but the city keeps creeping nearer, and I'm seeing farms in my county get bulldozed to put in yet another housing development "..starting from the low, low $600s!" of identical, oversized, characterless houses with 1/4 acres plots of land and no trees.

I don't want neighbors. I want trees, deer eating my hostas, raccoons trying to tear open my garbage bins, and bears being oversized raccoons. I want candles and laterns in every room because the power goes out every time there's a thunderstorm, a woodburning stove that I can feed with trees that get blown down, and enough land that I can raise goats, chickens, and do a little dirt farming, in addition to my job. I want to opt out of this goddamn rat race, and just have a quiet place where I can offer people refuge from the bullshit that's happening around us.

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

The career opportunities for my partner's career are basically only available in this region of our country.

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