one of the first signs of burnout is lowered empathy. Family care in this case is purely mechanical maintenance.
The better you are at capitalism the less you relate to other people, makes a whole lot of sense doesn't it.
this post was submitted on 01 Jan 2025
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“Let me know when your whole life goes up in smoke. Means it's time for a promotion.”
i haven't had an honest-to-goodness real vacation.. ya know, the whole bit. planning ahead, to a 'destination' of some sort, at least a long weekend away, and no work or family obligations.. in my entire adult life. the last time i was even out-of-state for more than a single day at a time was a week-long trip to bury my mother. that was almost 20 years ago.
I’ve done it but the glut of work when you come back isn’t worth it.
One summer I just took every Friday off and that was nice. I could have short trips away or long, lazy weekends without feeling swamped.
It helps that I hate travel.
Why so much work when you get back? Don't other people in the business handle it while you are away?
Don't other people in the business handle it while you are away?
I am sure they would if they were not understaffed. But under staffing is another way to extract value from the slaves so business always do it. Think about how they staff hospitals, if they are able to do it there, they are doing it every where.
These parasites hate the working person, they want us to have low quality of life.
You'd think that. You really would. But there's so much stuff where I am apparently the only person who can do it that it just piles up.
What's wrong with letting it pile up? Can't you just put in your hours for the day then go home, pile size be damned?
Because it keeps piling up, and the pile will be even larger the next day because everyone knows I'm back from vacation
If you don't let the work pile up, then management thinks that your workload is fine
It is a fine amount of work as long as I don’t let it pile up
What line of work are you in that the work can't just remain piled up? Doesn't seem reasonable to worry about, but if you're a doctor or something then maybe that makes sense
Even just taking time off to sit around and relax is difficult. I can’t remember the last time I did that for more than a “mental health day” because I was completely overwhelmed. Let alone actually traveling the country or world
Even just taking time off to sit around and relax is difficult.
When you are slammed, taking time off only adds to misery. That's how the system is designed to work. They want us to feel always under water.
Wtf kind of article is this. This is sponsored content for Apple Vacations. Their name is mentioned four times in the article and they paid for this survey to show that Americans need more vacation
79% of Americans feel burned out as they put most vacation time toward errands, doctor visits, and family care
Which is super convenient and totally works out, since we wouldn't have money to go on vacation anyway
"pulling yourself up by the bootstraps" has always been this: an instruction by the ruling class "for the weed to weed out itself by the roots".
You know what happens when a tree pulls itself up by the roots? ~~It starts walking, dancing even.~~ It dies.
The phrase is also meant to show that it's impossible. You can't lift yourself into the air by pulling on your boot straps.
Boomers were too stupid to understand the joke and have been using it earnest.
Leqd exposure be like that
This was me.
I now am free lance, so I don't get any PTO.
I am seeing my family for 2 and a half weeks, went on a few vacations to Vegas, Seattle, Portland, Milwaukee, and Nashville this year, and I work <30 hrs a week.
I'm just a fucking musician.
Just gonna say it, the "stability" of full time employment is a lie. I learned that "fuck you" money isn't a lot of money, it's a lot of revenue streams. When money is freedom, letting one person control your money is letting one person control your freedom.
I've never made more money in my life, and even though I need to do my own taxes, contribute to my own Roth IRA, and have my own insurance, the freedom is so worth it.
Follow your skills and follow your passions- you can burn the midnight oil and do the things others won't. Find a schedule or a method that works for you, and you will never have to send in a PTO request to "HR" ever again.
Employers only lie to you and underpay you. You do have skills. They are underutilized and undervalued. Employers will try to convince you that those aren't your way out. They are.
Fuck it AMA
How huges are you balls? Are we talking like baseball big, or wheelbarrow big?
I am in a position where I work for a friend but I have basically a freelancing job, and I start to realize what you are saying.
I am starting to build my exit plan in case it doesn't work out for whatever reason, and I cannot see myself going back to a 9 to 5 job.
Oooof working for a friend can be tough. You think you're going to have a boss who's your friend but then your friend becomes your boss. If you need to leave that situation, remember to frame it as "I love our friendship and I don't want this to hurt it".
As far as ball size, I guess I think I've been stupid so many times I Jacques Clueseau'd my way to where I am, but also I have a personality that tends to downplay risk.
Here's a story on that:
I worked in Seattle for a start up in "chemical distribution". It sucked. Everyone was jaded. There was no culture. I was selling something I didn't know, but the military seemed to want a lot of it. I was there for 2 months, 26 days, and 4 hours.
On my way out, one of the charismatic smiley hot shot salesmen invited me for a farewell drink, just me and him. When we sat down, his demeanor completely changed. He slumped and stared into his glass and said "I don't have the balls to do what you do. I wanted to be a brewer, but the market is too risky. I'm afraid if never make it so I do this instead. Maybe when I'm old I could make it happen..."
I thought "damn. I don't have the balls to do what you do". I mean, putting your life on hold for ~35 years!? I can die so many different ways in that time. Then I get a small window to finally live, but for how long? If you ask me, that's a MUCH bigger risk. Like be smart, but don't throw away your passions.
Personally I decided I don't want to retire. I want to build a life where if I knew I'd die tomorrow I'd do nothing different about my routine.
I have been working almost 4 years with my friend now and we have an open discourse on what is expected of each other, so the line is very clear between work and friendship.
I don't plan on exiting in the next few years, but I have to have a plan if I need to get out.
These years have been eye opening on what I want in life. The freedom it provides has no price, and I agree with you that the job security is a lie. The moment the company doesn't need you, you get fired and that's that. There is uncertainty between contracts, but otherwise it is the same as a normal job except you make your hours.
I'm moving to Southeast Asia to grow my business. Right now, I’m making $30-50k gross revenue before expenses; solid, but not enough to live comfortably in the West. So I’m heading to Kuala Lumpur, a city I love, where the cost of living is super affordable. I’ll work a bit, enjoy tons of free time, explore the region, lower my stress, and live much better overall. Sure, I could take a $200k job in NY/LA/SF, but after taxes, rent, and everything else, what’s the point? Freedom isn’t just about fuck you money or revenue streams, it’s about being geographically neutral and choosing the best places on the planet for quality of life and value.
What industry are you freelancing on?
I'm a musician in Chicago, so I have the benefit of a vibrant industry with relatively low cost of living (compared to LA or NYC). My revenue is essentially 3 streams - education, gigs, and composition/ director work.
I have several private students and after school group lessons that make up 45% of my income. Gigs with my band and as a "hired gun" make up 25%, and working with theaters and film producers makes up 30%, and that sector is growing fast.
Since I have experience as an improv comedian and know my way around a keyboard, I've been able to get booked for improv shows to underscore the cast with either the right vibe for the scene or some sound effects that hit with good timing. Those pay anywhere between $50-$200 for an hour set. Those are the most fun too.
Side note: my degree was in political science, and I had a decade in marketing and sales roles. I just loved learning new instruments, writing music, and watching music theory YouTube videos. I'm not the best musician, but among musicians I'm the best comedian, and among comedians I'm the best musician.
Were we supposed to actually go on vacation?
This is me.
This is me and I make well into the six figures. And I’m not spending above my means. This fucking sucks.
I've decided to prioritize hiring help this year. A cleaning service, scheduled grocery delivery, babysitters. We can't thrive without a supportive community, and unfortunately it's hard to build that naturally these days.
This isn’t crazy spending. Cleaning service is maybe optional, but, grocery delivery and babysitting services is pretty standard and sometimes necessary.
I've decided to prioritize hiring help this year. A cleaning service, scheduled grocery delivery, babysitters.
They got you a tread mill... working for daddy, so you can pay other people to do normal life duties for you.
Absolutely agree. But that's the state of things, and my mental health has been in survival mode for years now... I won't make it much longer without help with normal life duties.
Any one with insight on how this compares with recent or even not too recent times?
My immediate thoughts on this are that business may have become simply more active and noisier. That is, there’s always something to tend to, whether it be an immediate demand or working towards something in the future. Basically business practice growing and accelerating without accounting for what limitations people may have. I’d also wager it’s also noisier, as in full of meaningless stuff. Communications that mostly fluff, planning that isn’t actually thought through but closer to empty ambitions, requests for help or explanation due to not trying hard enough to work out them selves.
But then they get into a positive feedback loop. Too distracted to do anything well? Then just forward the cruft and minimally viable product down the line, or, produce an easy to make communication or plan that looks like productivity but really isn’t.
In the end, we run into Kessler syndrome, but for time and concentration rather than space. Everyone is burnt out and so passes along some distraction to the next person and so on until no one can get anything meaningful done as that would require uninterrupted time and concentration. What’s more, people adapt to their environment. If you expect to be interrupted, then you’ll never bother to work in a way conducive to longer periods of work. Instead, to seem productive, you’ll come up with our look for small and easy pieces.
Which gets to productivity culture. How mindful are we all of having to constantly prove our worth and productivity? If so, and given the above, how much are them inclined to do something that signals productivity rather than something that actually is productive? And much distraction is that likely to cause for others, both short term and long term? How much is that then going to encourage others to signal? Seems like Kessler syndrome again to me.
I’d wonder if in the recent past there was more of a sense that you had your job and that was that. It was fine. Don’t fuck it up and everything will be fine. Nothing urgent to do right now, go to the doctor it will be fine.
A bit over 100 years ago people left school at 12 to go work 6 or 7 days a week in a factory until they died.
Things are better for the vast majority.
Well I’m not talking about general conditions or labour rights, which certainly make any historical comparisons in this particular issue difficult or meaningless. But rather how an ordinary office job was managed and conceived. And the nature of work too.
Edit: specifically “knowledge” work, which has always been around. Generally though, I’m probably thinking of mainly boomer knowledge work, probably 60s-90s, as a historical comparison. I’ve just heard a few too many stories of someone totally checking out of their job, due to personal difficulties or whatever, and it being fine on a way that feels difficult to fit into todays “hustle culture” world.
Now do the same comparison 20-40 years ago...
40 years ago you left school and had no job prospect, high unemployment, high interest rates...
30 years ago you left school and had no job prospect...
20 years ago.........
The situation has always been shit in the USA except for a very short post-WW2 window. People need to stop believing that things were sooooo much better back in the day, it was an historical anomaly, accepting that is the first step to realize that something needs to change for good!
Life in US has progressively been turned into shit over last 40 years with a few exceptions.
These boomer talking points are getting old... Owner class and retiring boomers need working people to accept the current unacceptable conditions as wagie.
It's still true that the boomer respite is just an historical anomaly, it doesn't mean people shouldn't wish for better living conditions, it just means that we shouldn't settle for what they got because we were can see, it didn't last!
It did not last because boomers sold out their kids for 401k and mcmansions.
Owner class was able to convince them to do this with out much afford tbh.