this post was submitted on 11 Sep 2023
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[–] Elderos@lemmings.world 19 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

We're all so bad at communicating and it is the bottleneck in most relationships, workplaces, and in politics.

We talk past each others when we argue. We're bad at definining the stuff we argue and talk about. We're bad at ignoring the pedantic stuff and focusing on the "spirit" of the argument.

At the workplace I feel the ability to share information to all the relevant parties without it being noisy has never been solved in big corporations. It is either a free-for-all situation where you're expected to read hundred of emails, answer anyone anytime, go in tons of meeting, OR to work in complete silos where you only talk to a supervisor once in a blue moon.

In friendships you have people who talk but don't listen and people who listen and don't talk. Oversharers, bullshiters, people who can't get to the point, people who gives 5 minutes of context and disordered information for every little things. Friends who mumble, or who don't finish half their sentences.

In relationships we let unresolved issues become taboos, and we let petty stuff buildup because we can't addresss it without anyone feeling attacked.

Communication is important, as you've already been told by a poster or an HR person, but I rarely see people actively try to better themselves in that area, nor the corporations I worked at. You won't have anything durable without it, or anything capable of scaling efficiently.

I am probably very bad at it too, for the simple reason that virtually all the people I know are ever good at best at a few aspects of it. I am self-conscious about communicating properly but I too probably suck at it and I have my blind spots just like everyone else. For this reason, this is the thing I hate about everyone, we can't communicate for shit and we don't even realize it most of the time.

[–] utg@mander.xyz 4 points 2 years ago

What's most frustrating about it is that even when I try to help others see that this is the real cause of friction between us - that poor communication or misunderstanding is the real cause of our arguments, many if not most would still fight me that I'm wrong and they're right and it's like nobody wants to reach a solution, they'd rather forever spin in the accusations

[–] MarkHughes4096@lemmy.world 18 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I hate that many people idolise other people.

It's possible to like some of the work of somebody without idolising them and blindly listening to or following absolutely everything they do.

[–] FleetingTit@feddit.de 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Elon Musk is the best example: SpaceX has some really cool ideas (Falcon 9, Starship, Starlink) and Tesla made EVs palatable to car enthusiasts, which is an important step.

But on the whole he is an absolute piece of shit with a fragile ego.

[–] MarkHughes4096@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

That's a great example, I was prompted by the Fluke Skywalker stuff going on, But there are plenty of times when people who are famous for something are found to fall short. Then you get this outpouring of grief and disappointment, It happens enough that people should know better really.

[–] Manifish_Destiny@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago (2 children)

The inefficiency. Why the fuck are we walking so goddamn slow? Why can't you eat faster? Oh god, don't make me watch you not use keyboard shortcuts. Why is everyone living like they want to be here in this goddamned line more than anything else in life?

[–] meekah@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Why the fuck are we walking so goddamn slow?

I also walk fast all the time but I am trying to be a little slower so I don't get sweaty while going places. Maybe it's like that for other people as well. What I don't understand is why so many people seem to be completely oblivious to their surroundings and the way they block the path for other people.

Why can’t you eat faster?

Some people like to enjoy their food.

Oh god, don’t make me watch you not use keyboard shortcuts.

I can actually get behind this one.

Why is everyone living like they want to be here in this goddamned line more than anything else in life?

I'm unable to decypher what exactly you are complaining about here. What line are you talking about?

[–] Delusional@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago (2 children)

People slowly going about their lives in every manner instead of doing everything as quick as possible so you can get back home and be alone for longer.

[–] Manifish_Destiny@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago
[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

for some folks that's full power / max speed.

other folks are just happy to be out and about.

not my preferred way but I get that for some people it's their reality.

[–] Nemo@midwest.social 6 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Dualistic thinking. The idea that things must be either good or bad, true or false, normal or perverse.

[–] htrayl@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

False dichotomy is humanity's favorite logical fallacy.

[–] ohlaph@lemmy.world 0 points 2 years ago

It is the fuel of religion.

[–] Dvixen@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The hypocrisy of caring and Hallmark holidays.

Some calendar days were created by companies out to make money, others by organizations trying desperately to raise awareness for their worthwhile cause.

The end result is often the same, jump on the bandwagon for one day to be seen as doing good or being good, then hop off and return to business as usual.

There's a calendar day coming up that every year makes my life worse. For one day a year, acquaintances ask me a question, don't care about or listen to my answer, and then go back to ignoring me for another year. Oh but hurrah for them, they did the thing they normally wouldn't because social media gives them warm fuzzies for announcing they did the thing. They don't even remember the questions or answers, for them, it was a thing to do, instead of being a better caring person for the other 364 days.

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Saturday, September 16th is Batman Day. And everyone asks "wouldn't a billionaire help more by using his wealth than his fists?" right before they get the smack.

[–] GrayBackgroundMusic@lemm.ee 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

That we all think we're far more in control of ourselves than we are. Yes, including me. A person isn't in charge of the self, even a majority. Not by a long shot. We're the smartest monkeys in the room, but we're still monkeys. None of us are fully rational robots, but a lot of us pretend we are.

[–] angstylittlecatboy@reddthat.com 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I think irrationality is evidence of our control if anything. Animals are generally more rational than us (I say this as someone who hates people who worship rationality.)

I don't think animals are completely emotionless, but a lot more of what other animals do can be explained by survival instinct than humans.

[–] mycatiskai@lemmy.one 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Can't they just fucking read AND comprehend.

If people would not just read things but also use some brain power to comprehend the words they just read, then the world would be a few percentage points smarter overall.

Also while they are at it, observe the world you are living in. People ask stupid questions all the time because they don't open their eyes and take in the world for a few seconds. "where is the bathroom?" As they ignore the sign. "What time does the bus come?" As they ignore the printed schedule. "How do you open this hatch?" As the arrows point to the handle.

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

I've honestly been astounded at how much of the population appears to be functionally illiterate. You tell them how to spell a url and they're more likely to just hand you the phone because that's hard.

I sometimes wonder if that'll be what's left - illiterate masses cared for by a few not-quite-dumb bastards that can work a can opener or read the instructions on the pump.

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Damn humans, they ruined humanity!

[–] CmdrShepard@lemmy.one 1 points 2 years ago

Mass hysteria/idiocy, like how easy it is for a crowd to drop logic and reason and be worked up into a frenzy because some populist/talking head/anonymous online account is telling them what to think or manipulating them with a bunch of half truths.

This is why we can't have nice things.

[–] danileonis@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Culture is generally very low, look how people use their fucking smartphones.

[–] FleetingTit@feddit.de 2 points 2 years ago

I witnessed people watching tok tok shorts with their speakers blasting low quality audio on repeat in the following situations:

  • when hanging out with a group of friends

  • in the bus/tram/commuter train

  • THE FUCKING CINEMA

Why can't people just use headphones?

[–] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 1 points 2 years ago

That in times of conflict, human nature, the default mindset of humans, is often used as a crutch like a medical condition would be, and that we simultaneously still consider ourselves persons as we define persons as members of the moral community, the same one we use human nature to excuse ourselves for violating.

[–] MonsiuerPatEBrown@reddthat.com 1 points 2 years ago

We do not keep planets very well.