Sex

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/cheepcheepimabird on 2023-08-12 02:00:41.

Have any of you managed to break this curse? It's driving me to post-coital tears :(

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/ExpensiveSummer45 on 2023-08-12 00:25:14.

I (F24) met this guy (M22) on bumble about 2 months ago, and the first time we ever met, he came over to my apartment and we had sex, but the type of sex that we had was like pretty rough/kinky and very animalistic (I also was a virgin but I didn't tell him until we had sex the second time...)

Anyways, after the first night, he would be very sexual with me and make very sexual references and stuff and things were fine even up until the third time that we had sex, where I started to match his energy and "roughness" by choking him and biting and stuff. Up until this point, I assumed that we would just be FWB because he was very low effort (we never gone out on a single date).

However, for the fourth time, he asked if I wanted to go out to dinner, which I accepted and he bought my dinner and we had a very cute date by the beach. He kept complimenting me and telling me I'm very smart and pretty. We actually got along really well and was surprised by how much we had in common. That night, we only had oral sex and no penetration. Then for the fifth hangout, he invited me out to the movies, and we watched Barbie together and we didn't have sex that night.

Well, for our 6th meetup, we went out to an outdoor movie and then went over to his place and ended up having sex, but the sex is slowly and progressively becoming less "rough/kinky" and is just vanilla? like that energy is gone now. However, during the 6th date, he brought up kids and marriage and stuff and asked me if I was ready to settle down (which I thought was weird).

So the around the first time we were getting to know each other, he would be extremely sexual and kinky and rough with me, but now it switched over to vanilla. What changed?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/A_Achilles on 2023-08-11 21:09:09.

First and foremost: everything I'm saying here I have already brought to the attention of my wife. I'm not hiding anything from her and we discuss this pretty openly but neither of us know where to go from here.

The details...

We're a married couple in our early 30s with two kids. We've been married now for seven years. Our relationship is still good, I don't have a "wandering eye" and I'm not seeking someone else or anything like that. I'm just not getting anything out of our sex anymore.

We did a 'blind' rating of how we perceived our sex lives and she said 4 maybe 5/5. I was pretty surprised at this because I'm sitting around maybe a 2 or 3 out of 5. We got to talking and I told her my concerns...

I'm tired of doing all the work, tired of initiating, tired of asking (because any time I try to be spontaneous it gets shut down). It's always when she 'schedules it' or brings it up. There's never anything in the moment. It's repetitive.

For clarity, it wasnt always like this. But after I told her this she made some effort to address these things. She tried to initiate but it was actually even worse because she said she was in the mood, but now I need to turn her on to get her ready which is the whole problem to begin with. She didn't understand why this was upsetting when I explained how it's kind of bullshit that when I'm in the mood, I have to initiate and do the foreplay and everything, but when she's in the mood, her role is to just tell me so I can do the same thing?

To put it bluntly our sex - for me - has just gotten boring. I don't get fulfillment or satisfaction out of it anymore and too often I have difficulties finishing or keeping it going because it's just so repetitive and unrewarding. I don't know how I can make it any clearer or what to do to improve it.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/Hetouchi on 2023-08-11 22:23:07.

Basically, my wife told me she doesn't feel attraction or desire for me anymore after I made a cosmetic change to my appearance to more authentically express my identity to the world.

I checked with her before I made the change and she was fine with it. Now she doesn't know if she can adjust and be attracted to me again and its made me realize that, despite no other issues in our relationship, I don't think I can be happy long term in a sexless relationship.

Am I wrong here?

I am comfortable with the idea that I sometimes have to unlearn problematic ways of feeling and thinking that I learned from society as a kid but idk if this is that kinda issue or not.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/anonymouslygr8 on 2023-08-11 22:28:16.

my girl saw this video in YouTube, regarding non ejaculated orgasm for boys. So she wanted me to try and we did everything as per the video and things actually worked so well. I never taught I could have such a powerful orgasm in my life. And I actually started to last longer. Now what I'm worried is that, whether this process is good for a long term or will I have any issues in the future. Because I'm stopping my energy from coming out and it hurts a little bit. Please need your opinion on this. Somebody help Thank you

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/Substantial-Fun4692 on 2023-08-11 21:32:26.

Title pretty much sums it up. This is a new problem for me. I don't take any medicine or birth control. We've been married almost 2 years, have no kids. I don't have a particularly stressful time. I'm a nursing student and he works. I'm currently out of school for the summer and running my own (low stress) small business from from. My husband works 7am-6pm. I get crazy horny and it peaks in the later afternoon. The problem is, when my husband gets home it's gone. At some point before he gets home my desire totally disappears and the idea of having sex is completely unappealing. I don't know what's going on and it's so frustrating.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/Future_Rate9906 on 2023-08-11 19:40:46.

Me (f33) and my boyfriend have a great relationship. We have been together for three years now. love and trust him deeply. We have a good sex life. He’s really good at deeply intimate, making love type of sex. And even though I enjoy that very much. I would like something else/something more. I would like him to dominate me in bed. Tie me up, give me orders. Spank me, choke me that kind of thing.

We have talked about this several times, and he says he’s open to trying. But nothing has happened yet. I’ve told him to spank me and choke me and he obliges. But that kind of defeats the whole purpose with me having to tell him what to do . Any advice? I think maybe he likes the confidence. Even though I give him lots of compliments and reassurance.

His ex before me really did a number on him. She belittled him and cheated on him several times. I don’t know how to fix the damage.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/Chance-Flounder741 on 2023-08-11 20:30:18.

I was seeing this guy for over a year. (I thought) We had developed trust, intimacy, and comfort over the time we saw each other. I'm 22 and he just turned 30 a couple months ago. We also had really similar sexual drives and interests and kinks. I'd see him pretty often, usually at least once or twice a weekend, but sometimes only twice a month. We went on dates too, usually a pool bar or arcade bar, sometimes movies, sometimes just walked around talking. But the main thing we did was have sex. We usually went for at least 1 hour, sometimes up to 6. We went to a shibari class to learn how to tie eachother up. I healed some of my sexual issues with him since he was so caring, passionate, and kind to me. He always tried hard to make me orgasm which was nice and obviously very pleasurable but also new to me, I haven't experienced that with my previous partners. He'd tell me that I was probably the best he's ever had (as in the most compatible) and that it was crazy how good it felt every time we saw eachother.

All of that feels like its come crashing down since things ended. A couple weeks ago I found out he was married the entire time. The entire year I saw him, whenever he left my place, he went back home to sleep beside his wife. That's so repulsive to think about. His wife contacted me recently calling me a bunch of names, told me that I probably actually knew he was married before she told me (I didn't, I had NO idea until we spoke), and that I'm a hoe and no better than a prostitute. I was honestly shocked by the call since the first time we spoke a couple weeks ago, when she asked me how I knew him and I asked her the same, we had a very civil and normal conversation. So I'm guessing that he told her those things about me. Which is very very hurtful since I really trusted that man. But also not surprising since he's apparently the type to hide his wife and lie about her existence. If he'd do that to her, of course he'd do it to me.

I don't get how he could do all those things with me and then talk about me like that? It's making me feel super insecure. I don't know how I'm supposed to enjoy sex again, it might be ruined for me. Like I totally and completely trusted him, in the entire year he never hurt me or pushed my boundaries or made me feel violated. He gave me reassurance and we tried new things together. Meanwhile the whole time I'm just the young freaky hoe to him? The whore who never says no? The reason I enjoyed sex with him so much is because I trusted him and felt real intimacy with him. And that was all fake this whole time? How do you know when it is real? Honestly I can't imagine enjoying sex in the same way again which is devastating to me since I am a pretty sexual person. Even masturbating doesn't feel as good lately.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/bingpotbengt on 2023-08-11 18:54:06.

Kind of a weird situation. Im a 21F and Im in a weird fwb but exclusive kind of situation with someone. Hes 20M. We have been friends for 2 years and began this relationship thing like 6 months ago. Recently, our sexting has gotten kind of nonexistent which was a huge concern for me because I think that an active sex life means a healthy relationship. I've brought up my concerns with him and he always gets kind of defensive saying that hes busy or hes not really that horny which I found really sus in the beginning. I thought that he wasnt interested in me anymore or that he was texting some other girl.

We've had a million conversations about this to the point where we're both sick of it but there hasnt really been a change? I think its because of stress and also the lack of being physically close(were in our final year at college - a very strict no PDA allowed college). I've also asked him multiple times if he still wants to be in this weird relationship thing we have going on and he says he does. Hes also kind of shy when it comes to sex and im a little more open, which could be a factor.

I really like him, enough that the no physicality thing really isnt reason enough for me to not be with him. But i do still need a little bit of attention in that way. Ive been trying to give him space but i really really want to have that part of the relationship back.

He did say that i can text him regarding this if im ever horny but i dont really know how to even begin that conversation because he gets really awkward. Again this a fairly newer development like in the last three months. Its not like it was very frequent before but it has legit all but stopped now.

Not sure what to do would really love some help.

Also if this is not the right question for this forum do let me know. Its my first time asking a question on reddit.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/hmmsaidWho on 2023-08-11 18:16:50.

I (23F) have a boyfriend (25M) of 8 months. Me being a really conservative individual I told him that i’m not willing to be engaged in any kind of sexual activity further than kissing and making out (aka little bit of touching). He has been almost too considering that I sometimes feel sorry to him.

Yesterday night, i got a bit drunk and he drove me home. I offered him to come in and stay over (this was his first time coming into my apartment). We started kissing, one thing led to other and I remember humping on his thigh and having an orgasm. I don’t really remember what he did or say but I remember complaining about him being fully dress while i had my shorts off ( i woke up with a skirt i was wearing yesterday and with panties on so I assume i took off my shorts off ) so i don’t think we had sex.

He was gone to work when i woke up so i haven’t seen him yet but he left me few messages asking me how i feel and i don’t know what to say. I personally have a bad memory about engaging in sexual activity like this so i feel anxious and worried. I also feel like I betrayed my own words and took advantage of him by using him to make myself feel good. ( this is the last thing i wanna do, making him feel like he was taken to granted for or taken advantage of)

I feel so sorry and anxious. I am starting think bad about self and i don’t know what to do. Should I apologize to him via text right now ?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/Right-Ad8261 on 2023-08-11 19:40:26.

I have the higher sex drove in my marriage (of ten years) we usually have sex once a month or so. Due to a variety of circumstances we hadnt done it for a bit more than that, which I know isn't that long but it's enough where I definitely miss it (at times we whave gone many months without doing it).

Anyways, the other day it was my infants first birthday and in the middle of the day my wife asked me if I can go get things to make a small family party for him and I said that it's hard because I was busy working (remotely) and was running behind on making dinner.

So she says "if you go I'll give you a handjob". Now, she never really does this, or bjs, outside of piv we don't really do anything sexual (as part of foreplay I do give her oral often) because she isn't interested. So I went ahead and did it.

Fast forward to today, we are both off from work and had the house to ourselves. I asked if she wanted to have sex and she said not really, she was going out soon and didn't want to get undressed and all that. So I said, in a light, playful tone "what about that thing you owe me". She asked what I was talking about so I recapped our "deal" and she said "oh, I didn't actually mean that I just wanted you to get the stuff". Um, ok.

I firmly don't believe in guilting her into sex or sexual activities but I was really excited about it so I couldn't help being dissapointed. She then starts talking about other things and I guess picking up on my lack of enthusiasm she asks, in almost an accusatory tone "what's wrong". I say "nothing", because, I mean, if she doesn't know I'm sure as fuck not going to explain it. Like, fine, you don't want to do it. You're entitled to that. I'm entitled to be a little bummed, that's how I see it. She seems to disagree.

Am I an asshole here??

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/lbs1515 on 2023-08-11 19:27:57.

I’m in my late 20’s and still a virgin. This is embarrassing for me to talk about but I just want to know if anyone else experiences this. Occasionally I would touch myself but the last couple of months I have been so horny. I almost have this ache like I need a penis inside me. I can’t even get a finger in so it’s been hard to “scratch the itch” and it feels weird to crave something you have never had. I think about sex way more than I did when I was younger. Has this happened to anyone else? Any solutions?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/funnyhopeless on 2023-08-11 19:27:01.

I’m really at a loss here.

I would very much like to communicate with my spouse about our sex life, but I have no idea how to go about it. She’s generally very uncomfortable talking about it so nothing ever really goes anywhere.

I can’t really ask her what she likes or enjoys because it gets viewed as something she has to spell out for me which is a huge turn off for her. She says if I have to ask then I am doing it wrong.

Our sex life is very dysfunctional. It always has been but has gotten worse over time. I can’t make her communicate her needs to me effectively, and I can’t communicate my needs to her because I don’t want her to feel like she has to do all these things that she isn’t comfortable with or isn’t interested in doing.

I know people will likely say counseling, which is a no go. I’m sure others will tell me to leave. I mainly just want to find a way to work on fixing the problem, if it’s possible.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/hairaccount0 on 2023-08-11 14:34:39.

I recently heard someone mention that they routinely go for 3 hours with their bf. I am having trouble figuring out what sex for that amount of time would even be like. What do you do to keep it enjoyable for that long?

Most discussions of prolonging sex that I've been able to find have been about prolonging penetration. But that can't be the answer to my question. I already last 15 minutes, well above average, and I don't think most women want that to last 12 times longer anyway.

When I last had a partner, we incorporated a lot of things into sex: lots of kissing and foreplay, I went down on her until she came (sometimes more than once), I used toys on her, we'd switch between a variety of positions. All of those things take time and I'm more than happy to spend lots of time on each of them, but I don't think it ever lasted for more than an hour all told.

Some men go for multiple rounds I suppose, but I've never been able to do that, even when I was a teenager or in my 20s. My refractory period hits really hard (one of the top things I'd change about myself if I could). Is that what's missing?

Of course I wouldn't want every sexual encounter to last for 3 hours. But when I have a partner again, I don't want to be completely clueless about how to give her a good long session. What, exactly, does hours-long sex involve?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/Ok-Stick-2567 on 2023-08-11 17:09:34.

I’ve recently been with this guy who really enjoys dirty talk. There have been a few times where I’ve tried but it just feels a bit forced and awkward (almost embarrassing?) I’m not sure whether it’s just not my thing? Or is there a way to make it feel more natural?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/WilliamDantes on 2023-08-11 15:55:21.

I’m trying to stop watching porn to avoid influencing my relationship. I’ve been with my partner for almost 3 years and sex is great but we can only be togetger once or twice a week. I’ve been considering masturbating only with our sex tapes instead of porn and just a couple of times a week. Is there really a difference between masturbating with porn or our sex tapes? Is that difference good? If its good, why? If there's no difference it could be ok keep using porn?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/rubbishfairy on 2023-08-11 16:14:44.

We are a long time het couple. We have a good sex life but my girlfriend is very much NOT the stereotypical woman in bed. She doesn't have very much patience. If I come on to her things go as you would expect, but she has a high sex drive and more often than not she comes on to me during the evening. She mostly goes straight for my cock with her hands and as soon as I'm aroused typically rides me till she comes a couple of times. After that she goes straight to sleep. It probably sounds better than it is. The reality is that it's all very predictable.

Quite often she comes onto me in this way and I don't get hard. She somehow then makes it feel like it's my fault. I've tried telling her that I need more than that, I need a bit of seduction and creativity, but she just doesn't seem to get it. We live in a society where men are generally supposed to be ready to go at any moment ... how can I convince her that she needs to put in a bit more effort?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/Madvillain014 on 2023-08-11 15:19:00.

The love of my life and I are both in our 30s. We have an amazing life. Communication, Fun times, trips, good sex and just love all around..

There’s only 1 problem, she refuses to give blowjobs… it’s not like she never has, it’s just like 1 every 6mo to a year type thing…I know she works a lot so maybe she’s tired. But sometimes I think it’s me… maybe I don’t put her in that mood, I honestly don’t know… everytime I mention a blowjob she gets not offended but annoyed I’m asking…

I could see if I’m a bad guy but I’m not I’m loyal, work hard, try to keep myself in shape and take care of the house pretty well..

I was just wondering outside of direct verbal cues, is there anyway to sway a woman into a blowjob maybe charismatically?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/OxijenThief on 2023-08-11 14:12:24.

It hasn't happened to me yet. But I'm worried that, if it does happen, I'll say or do the wrong thing and make them feel worse. I know it can be incredibly hard to open up to someone about something that personal and so the last thing I want to do is make someone feel like they made a mistake saying anything at all.

I don't want to say things like "It wasn't your fault" because I feel like that's a bit cliche, and perhaps missing the point too because a lot of surviviors already know that, and I don't want to say "I don't think any differently of you" for the same reasons, as well as it not really being about me and my feelings about them at that moment. "I'm sorry that happened" feels like it's only one cut above "that's rough, buddy" so I don't want to say that either.

I want to be able to make someone feel safe and listened to and unjudged when they tell me these things but I don't know how to do it. Does anyone know how to do this or have any experience with this kind of thing?

Any and all advice will be appreciated.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/EternalBlaze18 on 2023-08-11 11:19:53.

All I’ve ever heard is that fingering can feel amazing and some even orgasm from it. I have my first sexual partner ever, and it’s falling extremely short of my expectations. It literally feels like sliding a tampon in then out. Why do I feel no pleasure at all? Like none? This is making me really worried for PIV because that’s basically the preliminary round for it.

It anyone is wondering what his technique is, he pushes like 2 fingers in really deeply, and then slowly pulls out. (??) once he tried just going fast in and out and it just felt like a lot of painful friction. Is this a me or him problem? Any tips I can give?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/Odd_Mood_7259 on 2023-08-11 10:44:04.

I get really shy when we're making out or he gets me pinned and we make eye contact. I usually cover my eyes and apologize and he's totally fine with it cause he knows I'm still new to this stuff. Everything is great but I feel so shy and embarrassed. I even told him to put a blanket over his head when I gave him a blow job cause I was too self conscious 😭😭. I don't want him seeing the face I'm making. How can I get over this? Cause I want to be able to look at him when we have these intimate times.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/Sp1cy_Chicken_Tender on 2023-08-11 12:52:55.

My spouse and I have been married for 9 years. We have two young kids. He used to pretty much always go to bed before me. Some time ago I noticed that he was starting to stay up later. One night I came out to get some water after heading to bed and came across him masturbating. No big deal, who doesn’t like a little sexy me time? However he was super embarrassed about it. The next time it happened (we have a small house with little privacy) I tried to join in and he got mad. When I talked to him about it when some time had passed, he told me that’s just the way he is and I have to accept it. I have a very active libido. I enjoy sex and everything to do with intimacy. I don’t really ever have to be convinced and I rarely get headaches. Now that being said, I am 95% of the time the one initiating. If I stay up with him at night, he doesn’t have any interest in initiating. If I go to bed, within 20 minutes, he’s watching porn and masturbating. I have talked to him about it and asked why that is. He says it’s just a biological function he does to get to sleep, but he doesn’t have any sleep issues. He’s one of those lie down anywhere and be out in minutes people. I have told him that my needs aren’t being met and that I would like to feel more desired by him. It hasn’t changed anything nor did he even ask what those needs are. If we weren’t married, I would think he isn’t into me.

Am I overthinking it? How would you feel and what would you do in this situation?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/Old_Orange2334 on 2023-08-11 10:41:45.

I have been seeing someone for the past few weeks(fwb type of relationship) he is nice and fun but he is quite demanding about certain things, most I don't mind since I understand people have preferences. However, he tells me he won't eat me out unless I am shaved/waxed. Personally I feel like it's quite unfair as I never say/do that to him and it's almost impossible to be completely hairless down there at all times(I see him 2-4 times a week). We got into an argument cause I expressed myself to him and he said almost all guys expect a clean shaven vagina, otherwise they won't put their face it in. Do all men care about these kind of thing and was I overreacting? I do lowkey feel weird about his obsession with baldness.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/Strict_Debate7902 on 2023-08-11 09:05:42.

Idk what to do.. I NEED sex at least 5x a week (7 days if it was uo to me). My BFF cannot keep up with my sexual appetite and gets offended when I wanna masturbate!!?? All bc he feel inadequate and falling short. And I don't even see It that way, being sexually in times with my body is exciting to me, and I have a great time alone. I Dom understand what the big deal is about me playing with myself!! What can I do?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/Subject_Ad_6311 on 2023-08-11 10:21:01.

I met this girl on tinder we started talking and started talking about hooking up. I am an virgin i never went ahead of making out ever in my life . The online girl is my age and says next week let's have threesome with one of his friend at his place and that place is very far like at panvel and far from station . She said that she has done FFM before but wanna try MFM now and she's inviting me for it. The guy said he will pick me up from station but while going you have to go alone. What should i do . Should i go there the place is like 3 4 hrs from where i live. Should i trust them. They guys do dugs, sx and stuff at that place but i said them don't do it if i come there. Won't they kidnap or kill me or remove my organs. Or should i trust there and have a threesome with them. Plz help me I can't this thing to anyone irl. Hope to see a reply soon from experienced and matured people. Please guide me in the best way.