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The original was posted on /r/sex by /u/funnyhopeless on 2023-08-11 19:27:01.
I’m really at a loss here.
I would very much like to communicate with my spouse about our sex life, but I have no idea how to go about it. She’s generally very uncomfortable talking about it so nothing ever really goes anywhere.
I can’t really ask her what she likes or enjoys because it gets viewed as something she has to spell out for me which is a huge turn off for her. She says if I have to ask then I am doing it wrong.
Our sex life is very dysfunctional. It always has been but has gotten worse over time. I can’t make her communicate her needs to me effectively, and I can’t communicate my needs to her because I don’t want her to feel like she has to do all these things that she isn’t comfortable with or isn’t interested in doing.
I know people will likely say counseling, which is a no go. I’m sure others will tell me to leave. I mainly just want to find a way to work on fixing the problem, if it’s possible.