saltnotsugar

Zuck, I want you to explain to this irrationally angry woman that this coupon from four years ago has expired.

Could have stopped at 8008, but calculated too close to the sun.

Okay guys, how do we pass our restaurant’s health inspection?

Crest beef jerky! Experience the minty flavors of the…fuckin Southwest. Yeehaw!

Whatcha doin with that landmine?
“Uhhhh…cartoon mischief?”
Well okay then. Welcome to Disneyland.

I’m hoping for a ten movie series focused solely on Gandalf smoking the finest weed in the Southfarthing.

Have you been given jewelry that had some wackadoodle magical properties? Call the law offices of Gandalf and Gandalf and don’t settle for less than you deserve!

Ladybug DOOM music intensifies

I pictured a seal opening a beer and in a deep voice says, “Damn. Nice place cat. Mind if I stretch out on your couch!?”

Ey this’ll get ya arrested in Boston.

Yup! You can make custom camos, custom decals, place crew members (in beta version), and fight in custom battles or missions. Some communities even have fun competitions.

“It exploded. The hot pocket exploded.”

He’s delusional. Hot pockets don’t explode.