gabe

Please be very very very very careful using this as it can and does cause a shit ton of bandwidth and if you aren't careful it can essentially create the equivalent of a mini ddos attack especially to smaller instances.

Yummy leaded gas hit different

Posting from an anonymous DM

"Sometimes I get the feeling that I’m the only woman commenting in certain smaller or more niche communities and instances. A few years ago my suspicions were confirmed on the Fediverse when there was a poll about demographics and the results showed few people from my gender and age group.

Personally on Lemmy, I haven’t noticed anything sexist as yet. Not a tonne of people engage with me, I attribute it to me not be really being witty and being late to conversations, clumsy with words, socially awkward and that kind of thing.

What would help women and other to feel people safer on Lemmy is giving them tools built into the software and apps to help make their timelines more welcoming. By this, I mean introducing keyword filtering, domain blocking, user and thread muting and the ability to block DMs from strangers. I make use of the score hiding feature here for a peace of mind.

There’s also a lack of certain women health communities on here. I don’t see any reproductive health related communties, in other words, I don’t see any communities related to menstruation, periods, PMS and I wish it weren’t so."

The complete shift in tone had cackling earlier

Why is he cringe though very curious 👀

"DM for the thread about making lemmy safer for women: Here’s what i’d hypothetically post on that thread if I felt comfortable making an account lol.

I haven’t spent any time on the broader lemmy space for this exact reason, actually- just being afraid that people will be mean to me or harass me and I won’t have a way to defend myself - or much more importantly, regain my privacy/anonymity/safety afterward. I don’t have much of a take here, but I definitely will say that it is a wider problem and post-2017ish the internet has felt like a much more unsafe place. It’s fucking scary out there. Ending the general widespread acceptance of misogyny online(and racism and transphobia and ableism and harassment and doxxing and stalking) is the only fix, and I don’t have any idea how to accomplish that. The people with the power in those places have to be the ones to make that change. But I really appreciate you sharing this thread here and talking about it."

Well, it's been made very clear to lemmy admins that we've got a lot of work to do. :(

Absolutely. Having people involved in this discussion directly and hearing their experiences on lemmy from a non-cis male perspective may help a lot with moderation tool development to gauge what safety concerns need to be addressed.

Absolutely, but I also feel it reframes it a bit too so those working on those tools can understand a bit better how it affects people in different ways. For some, its an annoyance and legal issue, others, its a matter of safety.

Done, posted it there!

Are you able to renew the SSL certificate? It appears to be expired.

100%, and I think that fact is a clear factor that needs to be considered more as mod/safety tools are developed hence where this thread is mainly coming from in my mind and why I shared this thread with other instance admins in hopes to open the space to factor concern in as safety and mod tools are developed and discussed.

Like, the fact that you need to directly contact an admin instead of using a "report to site staff" is extremely problematic amongst a bunch of others things on its own but not many I think have fully considered how it's not just a community safety issue but a user safety issue as well especially in regards to potential harassment.

I would like to say that this may be an opportunity to reflect as to why exactly you don't feel very welcome here as I feel there is more beyond it than you have come to realized. As stated in the original post:

this question is primarily aimed at generally anyone in the lemmyverse who is NOT a cisgender man no matter what instance they may be in. The purpose of this thread is to present a stage for conversation for those willing to contribute, and although cisgender men are not excluded I kindly ask you to be mindful of the fact what this thread is meant for and try to avoid talking over others here.

That's pretty clearly not excluding cis men imo, rather it's making it clear that this is a conversation you need to take time to sit and listen on others who are not cis men.

I am not trying to be hostile here or argumentative as you seem to be coming from a good place, but I ask you to please stop and take a moment to reflect on why exactly this has evoked this discomfort for you. Often times when women enter male dominated spaces, it feels like an invasion subconsciously due to the ingrained societal bias we have established. Western society at large conditions us in many ways to focus men as the default in many spaces, especially tech as well as specific hobbies. I get it as well, I've felt that discomfort as a man before. It feels like an invasion or being blocked out of your own turf.

As that's not what this posts intentions are, the purpose of this thread is to provide a space explicitly for women and generally non cis men to have their voices focused, and I ask you maybe reflect why that makes you feel so excluded and maybe take a second as well to consider why such a space like this is necessary. To actually commit to being an ally to women and non cis people, you need to take some time to reflect on why that discomfort is happening first.