Whats_your_reasoning

Unfortunately, the fact that they don’t take many pictures of themselves can be really obvious. I try not to turn a guy down because of a bad profile picture, because I know there’s a technique to it and that requires practice.

At the same time, we’re in a digital era - you can take 100 pictures and only upload your favorite one. There’s no reason for an average guy’s profile picture to resemble a mugshot.

Friendly reminder that "Employees of the Month" (and "Students of the Month" in schools) are rarely exceptional at their jobs. Rather, they are chosen by management as examples for what they want from their other employees (or students.) Suck-ups and people who quietly obey orders are frequently awarded such titles.

You could be the most supportive coworker, the most productive worker in your field, and have a genuine passion for the work you do - but if management sees (or even senses) any sort of disagreement with you, you'll never find yourself on that poster.

Which is all for the best anyway, since in all the places I've worked, there's rarely an actual prize. If there is, it's usually a cheap gift certificate to some dying chain restaurant.

As a non-right wing, non-psychopath, I’m uncomfortable with the idea of owning a gun at all.

I don’t want one in my home and I don’t want one on my person. Even if I did purchase one and ended up using it to protect myself, the knowledge that I took a human’s life would be too much for me to live with.

Didn't you know? Everything liberals do is activism. Just like every black character is a political statement, or how every vegan is an extremist.

I say that in jest, but some people legit can't fathom their "out" group being normal, every day people. The scary truth is that for some folks, daring to exist at all is seen as a form of protest.

It's not just cognitive. We lose taste buds with age, and the ones that remain shrink and lose sensitivity.

It makes sense if you think about it. Bitterness is associated with a lot of poisons. Sourness is associated with spoiled foods. Having a strong aversion to these tastes during childhood compelled our ancestors to avoid dangerous foods during their most fragile stages of life.

Then of course, sugar is a quick source of energy. It should be a given why a quick source of energy benefitted our ancient ancestors (for whom food was much more scarce.)

In short, that increased childhood sensitivity allowed our ancestors to survive until adulthood.

So parents - next time a kid complains about their dinner being too bitter, take comfort in knowing that if they were ever exposed to actual poison, they'd avoid it with the same urgency.

I can’t just listen to conversations people I don’t know are having, and randomly interject when I feel I have something relevant to say.

Damn, I feel that to my core. One of the few benefits people like us would've had in the pre-internet days, was that striking up casual conversations with strangers was considered more acceptable. Thankfully, my (also neurodivergent) father set an example for that when I was growing up - he chatted up everyone, and as a consequence seemed to know people no matter where he went. Yeah, some people probably thought he talked too much, but so what? He wasn't bothered, and he occasionally made actual connections through it. At the very least, I imagine most people would recognize my father as a friendly guy.

I try to let that empower me, even though it's much easier said than done. The thing is, if you go into a conversation expecting to be viewed negatively, it's going to impact how the interaction goes. Also, something that took me a painfully long time to learn, is that internet strangers can't substitute for therapy. Just because neurotypicals know how to do something, doesn't mean they can explain how they do it. I held that same expectation through my youth, but since NTs never had to go through the socialization process step-by-step in order to learn it, expecting them to break it down the way you want them to simply isn't going to happen.

That is, unless they've studied it and know how to give constructive advice that makes sense from your perspective. And at that point, you're actually seeking a therapist anyway.

That definitely depends on the context. Women's voices are often characterized as too whiny, too emotional, too bossy, too [insert sexist insult.] The content of what we say doesn't matter. Some people just hear a woman's voice and automatically tune out. Sadly, when you live it, it's hard to avoid; I didn't hate my voice for so many years for no reason.

Considering that virtual assistants like Siri only exist to follow user's commands, it might be worth considering that people aren't preferring female voices because they like them more. It's possible that people feel more comfortable giving demands to a female voice than a male one.

Just some food for thought.

My family had a healthy idea of limits, closer to the "free range" philosophy, before such a term was required.

Our neighbors across the street, however, were the prototype for helicopter parents.

While my sibling and I gained confidence and navigational skills by biking around our confusing neighborhood before the days of GPS, the neighbor's kids weren't allowed to go down the street unsupervised. My siblings and I stood alone on the corner bus stop, but the neighbor's mom sat in her car and only released her kids when the bus had arrived.

At the time, my parents made fun of theirs for holding such a tight leash. We also pitied the kids because they panicked about being "lost" when my siblings brought them on a walk around the block.

But now I see kids sitting in cars at bus stops as the norm. And of course, stories like the above article go to show that the helicopter style has won (for the time being.) The people who were raised to fear everything outside their front yard are now parents themselves.

I imagine that 10-20 years from now, there will be a lot more young adults bonding over vague memories of videos that they loved when little, but that they can't find a shred of anymore. Creators will have risen and fallen through the years. Some will shut down their channels and retire, others will be demonetized, and yet more will simply disappear without a trace. There won't be a backlog of every kids' video on YouTube; it's not like PBS or Nickelodeon, where popular shows might get officially archived. Instead, people will be left vaguely describing plots they can't fully remember, all the while getting a weird look from those who don't know what they're talking about. They may even come to think, "Maybe I just dreamed it all up?" and give up on their search for nostalgic connection.

Until the day one person finds an old screenshot from whatever the show was and shares it. That's when everyone will flip out because, Holy shit, that's it! That's the show! At which point, they will collectively and slowly realize just how messed up the show actually was.

Actual feminist and liberal guys should be understanding and supportive of women's sexual/dating choices anyway. If they aren't, then what kind of ally are they?

Elon Musk is a once in a generation business leader

That's not a compliment, that's a prerequisite to becoming everything Musk currently is. If "a generation" of people had been afforded even one percent of the privilege he's received, Musk would've been outshined by more competent people long ago.

Goddamn, way to make me flashback.

There was a point in my life where I was facing homelessness, was constantly job searching but hearing nothing back, and had to count coins to make sure I could afford to eat each day. Not only that, but the closest family member, who had invited me to stay with them if things went tits up, had just died two days before in a sudden and tragic way.

And my then-bf dragged me to a bar, where he and all his friends told me to “just let it go” and “loosen up” as if the basement rock of my world hadn’t just eroded out from under me. I sure as shit couldn’t afford bar prices, and not a single one of the group offered to get me anything, leaving me stone sober while they all got shitfaced. I ended up crying alone in the bathroom for an hour, and when I came back out, “bf” was getting a fucking lap dance from his friend’s fiancee.

That wasn’t even the worst part of the night. It definitely got darker before the light returned.

I’m okay now, over a decade later, in an infinitely-better place with supportive friends and partners. But man, what a journey.