this post was submitted on 27 Aug 2023
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[–] spauldo@lemmy.ml 79 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I'm struggling to think of any situation where a 2yo would come in contact with a hippopotamus that doesn't involve criminal levels of negligence.

[–] qisope@lemmy.world 41 points 1 year ago

you can't keep track of where every hippopotamus is all the time. sometimes you're just going about your day and there one is, swallowing your kid.

[–] loaExMachina@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

He was just playing by himself near his home. And his home was near a lake in Uganda . https://nypost.com/2022/12/15/hippo-swallows-spits-out-2-year-old-boy-in-uganda/

[–] spauldo@lemmy.ml 0 points 1 year ago

I'm not sure I'd let my kid play outside unsupervised if my yard was occasionally visited by hippos.

[–] Hank@kbin.social 36 points 1 year ago (2 children)

OPs mom swallows billions of -9 months old children.

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

To be fair, your mom does the same

[–] Hank@kbin.social 13 points 1 year ago

I have no idea what my parents are up to in the bedroom but I hope they're having fun.

[–] AbsolutelyNotCats@lemdro.id 10 points 1 year ago (3 children)
[–] Texas_Hangover@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Lmao, she forgot to come up for air.

[–] moody@lemmings.world 4 points 1 year ago

She choked on a 2 year old

[–] AbsolutelyNotCats@lemdro.id 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No, she actually died in a car crash

[–] craftyindividual@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

Damn. Hope it was quick and painless :( Mine got cancer.

[–] OrangeXarot@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 year ago

skill issue

[–] Hank@kbin.social -1 points 1 year ago

That sucked.

[–] Gormadt@lemmy.blahaj.zone 24 points 1 year ago

Talk about a high constitution and charisma score

Gets eaten

Rolls con save

Critical success

"It would appear as if you ate me, spit me out or I'll unleash my true power"

Rolls bluff

Critical success

"So sorry for the inconvenience, you have a wonderful day."

[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

shouldn't name your kid Jonah

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 year ago

What did the kid do to look so delicious?

[–] rustyricotta@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 year ago

Oh no, did they kill the hippo? If they did, this Harambe 2 would completely seal the fate of humanity.