this post was submitted on 02 May 2024
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politics

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[–] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 104 points 6 months ago (3 children)

“When there are sidebars, an attorney doesn’t leave his side anymore because leaving him alone means leaving him to potentially sleep,” Rubin said. “He has a stack of papers with him at all times now to go through.”

"We tried everything! Jangling keys above his head, coloring books and crayons featuring his favorite MAGA hero (himself), its just too difficult to try to keep him focused." -Rubin probably

[–] dhork@lemmy.world 36 points 6 months ago (3 children)

I'd like to know what is in those papers. I wonder if they are just complementary news stories about him. I bet the only subject that can hold his attention is himself.

[–] halcyoncmdr@lemmy.world 22 points 6 months ago

Probably just blank papers. It's still debatable whether he can actually read.

[–] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 15 points 6 months ago (1 children)

My guess? Stolen classified files missed during the Mar-a-lago file seizure. Would it surprise anyone if he brought incriminating evidence into court?

[–] teft@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago

Like a guy with a suspended license who drives to his DUI trial.

[–] BruceTwarzen@kbin.social 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Someone prints out a twitter feed

[–] OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] nilloc@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 6 months ago

Not much of a twist.

[–] baru@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago

its just too difficult to try to keep him focused

Put a McDonald's meal in front of him. That'll get his attention.

[–] Bakkoda@sh.itjust.works 1 points 6 months ago

I saw this episode of It's Always Sunny where they used a Bluetooth vibrator to help Frank cheat at chess.

[–] Wytch@lemmy.zip 62 points 6 months ago (1 children)

You would think that this trial would hold his interest

  • it's about himself
  • his name is mentioned repeatedly
  • gives him an excuse to play victim
[–] metallic_substance@lemmy.world 40 points 6 months ago

I actually don't blame him on the falling asleep stuff. Look at the facts: he's old as shit, he's overweight, he's going senile, and he probably has a myriad of health problems which are undisclosed and is probably on a complex cocktail of drugs to ease them. He's a fucking walking corpse and should have never held the office that he did

[–] athos77@kbin.social 34 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Maybe they could fit him with a shock collar.

[–] Riccosuave@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

You beat me to the punch 😂

[–] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 10 points 6 months ago

punch

That'd probably do the trick, too.

[–] metallic_substance@lemmy.world 34 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

This article won't be read by any of his supporters and if they do happen to see it, it will be dismissed as fake news

[–] PsychedSy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 26 points 6 months ago (1 children)

No. They'll see it as a power move.

[–] FenrirIII@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

Fox News is already framing it that way.

[–] Teon@kbin.social 20 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Use one of those butt plugs that the chess guy used to cheat. It has an app. BUZZ BUZZ wake up you traitor!

[–] Dkarma@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

Holy shit you read my mind.

Literally the first thing I thought. 🤣

[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 16 points 6 months ago

Awh, is Dozin' Don finding that age effects everyone? Even diaper-wearing dictators?

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 13 points 6 months ago (1 children)

have they considered installing electrodes up his ass? I bet that'd wake him up.

[–] sudo42@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

Put a UV light up there too. Would cure his Covid.

/s

[–] MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 10 points 6 months ago

Just wish he'd fall asleep...forever.

[–] kmartburrito@lemmy.world 9 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Maybe he needs to revive with vivarin. Would be nice if he didn't wake up one of these times

[–] PrincessLeiasCat@sh.itjust.works 9 points 6 months ago (2 children)

There is an Adderall shortage, so it makes sense.

[–] BreadstickNinja@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago

Yeah that combined with him checking every single risk factor for obstructive sleep apnea.

[–] CharlesDarwin@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Why isn't this being recorded? The world needs to see the magoos' golden emperor-god farting as he falls asleep in court.

[–] jeffw@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago (1 children)

No cameras in federal courts

[–] FenrirIII@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago

Isn't this state Court? So many trials, so many crimes, hard to keep track.

[–] ettyblatant@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago

Are we 100% sure he isn't staying awake past bedtime on purpose? I don't know if there is an argument to be made that because he didn't hear the trial, they clearly need to hold another one ... ?

[–] leadore@kbin.social 3 points 6 months ago

Who cares if he falls asleep anyway? Unless ... that's when the smells arise.