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I've been on the internet long enough to know that any argument that goes on for long enough is going to get uncivil. You're also very unlikely to convince someone who feel threatened by your point.

So I've got a soft 'respond once' policy. if someone replies to one of my comments, I respond once to clarify my position and address anything important. If I have failed to make my point by then, then my writing ability will continue to be insufficient in n > 2 comments, and I am adult enough to let them have the last word.

I've noticed this everywhere on Lemmy - I don't think this is a Beehaw exclusive. My guess is that as Lemmy grows, more and more people are lurking and reading every post/comment you make. Most people will pass by without a debate, but if 1000 people read your post all it takes is one person to decide they want to start an argument.

Yes. Lemmy/kbin/etc as well. I was just thinking to myself idk why I’m even on here. It feels like every comment I make, I end up having to defend myself, no matter how innocuous the comment.

Yes, I think some of it is Beehaw-specific because everyone flocked to Beehaw with the idea of building a better community and being better then slowly reverted back to their Reddit-arguing selves.

Lemmy/kbin/Fediverse was also very bubbled to Linux and privacy-focused people, now it's grown and keeps growing and that original bubble is very closed-minded. I've found a few times where I've mentioned some generally obvious things like "deleting Facebook means that a lot of people can't talk to the elder folk in their family." a common thought that is generally agreed upon but yet I got a bunch of people saying that was bullshit. A phrase I've started to like is "terminally online" which Lemmy seemed to be filled with. People who refuse to see there is another opinion out there and that even their opinion isn't common. Even when their opinion is refuted by statistics. They seem to just press on.

So I see more arguing on two levels. 1) Beehaws NRE has worn off. 2) Fediverse got an influx of more people bringing in a more common mindset that the old Fediverse crowd was generally against because they lived in a bubble. (which I know I'll get a lot of hate and arguments of "no, we didn't", "Linux is clearly the best OS", "Microsoft is literally Nazis!", "Privacy isn't dead yet!"

Just in my experience a lot of people on the Fediverse seem to have the attitude of "my opinion is the facts" or "the one thing I read on the corner of the internet with no cites is the definitive fact!". They are more closed off than Redditors. It's been surprising how many posts I see saying "We don't need to be like Reddit!" To then discover they aren't like Reddit, they are far worse.

Frankly, this whole thing has made me second-guess trying to leave Reddit behind. The only thing stopping me is a decent phone app to it. I could see myself somehow trying to set up a PWA with RES built into it if that's even possible. I see far more decent conversations (and open-minded people) on Reddit than here at this point and it's a huge shame.

No, it hasn't.

I've done a lot of reading since I joined here, and not much replying or posting. What I have noticed is that there does seem to be a certain number of people replying in different threads with similar arguments which end up getting people riled up. I am starting to recognize some of the user names, and I confess that when I see one now I tend to just drop the thread and stop reading.

I am not suggesting that what you are noticing in only due to that, since obviously there are a ton of people coming and going, but there are definitely "regular players" who seem to not know how to engage in a positive way - no matter what the topic. In some ways, I also think it's likely to always be an inevitable issue here specifically since Beehaw has made its goals as a site quite clear. I think it just urks some people coming here that this site strives to be a positive, welcoming space and so the idea of compromising that is likely part of the appeal for the behaviour.

Not on beehaw specifically but across the federated spaces in general. Lemmy being the worst.

Even now someone is trying to accuse me of being transphobic because I said I lean left politically but have no political affiliations and don’t want any because the current stat of US politics is a shit show on both sides.

It’s awful and I’m abrasive as fuck once you pick a fight with me so I’m eventually going to get banned from some of these places. However I know that part of it will be on me 😅

I think the honey moon period is over for all instances and communities when people were motivated to comment with the goal of trying to encourage user growth by being nicer than they usually are.

Now that people are settling in they are more comfortable using the fediverse like they've done on social media. Which does change the type of posts and comments that now come out.

So arguments are expected for even trivial topics like games. It's good or bad thing depending on the viewpoint, but was expected outcome since motivations for posting was much different in the earlier days.

That's one of the reasons I block every community/magazine focused on politics, no matter the country they're related on. Although European politics tend to be more civil than US politics. But I'm tired of too much polarization and lack of civil discourse. Tankies don't help either, and luckily for us, exploding-heads is leaving Lemmy.

It happens when you get more users, always. There are people who just wants to argue as some form of entertainment.

I've felt that lemmy.world has. It feels much more like vintage Reddit.

Beehaw I haven't experienced quite as much of the arguing for arguing's sake. If someone's arguing with me, they're usually doing so in good faith.

Unfortunately most places have "reply guys" in some capacity. I may have my own qualms with lemmy as a platform, but a lot of it is algorithmic and the lemmy devs are being mindful of making sure not to add the most toxic aspects of social media algorithms to lemmy. There's always those people seeking out toxicity and crave an argument on every platform. With platforms like this it's important to recognize that you curate your experience. Mute and block often. You aren't missing out on clout, or anything really. If there's anything that's hindering you from having a good time here then get rid of it. There's a lot of FOMO people have especially with browsing /all but the fediverse thrives when you curate what you want to see carefully.

It should also be noted that there's quite a few people on reddit determined to come here and try and start shit for no reason other than they find it to be fun. There's a pretty big post on reddit that I saw about lemmy being "too civil" and how the fact that there isn't a controversial sorting option, it's too boring for them to use. Some people crave conflict. Don't satisfy their craving.

Yes, and I've been using beehaw less and less because of it.

Argument Clinic https://youtu.be/uLlv_aZjHXc?si=TPn9cjOH1UUOmIvC

I can't comment on beehaw specifically, but I do know I've seen it rise in popularity on Lemmy / The Fediverse, just as its generally prevalent on the internet itself (that's the core of the problem, its not really a Reddit thing as much as it is an "internet" thing from what I've found).

Like you, I don't mind debating something with someone when they attempt to do so in good faith - or if I post something incorrect then I'm happy to be corrected if someone isn't rude about it. I do also try to make sure that if I post something, that I'm either sure its correct, or I provide some sort of hint that I'm not 100% sure about it.