Get a bidet attachment for your toilet. It will change your life.
this post was submitted on 18 Mar 2024
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Lemmy has a serious fiber deficiency. Y'all keep relating to bowel trouble, at first I'd make jokes about it but the actual shitposting keeps coming, now I'm just concerned.
It all goes back to that guy that didn't poop for three days. Lemmy took it as a challenge.
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It was back on reddit too. For some reason taking off all your clothes before taking a shit is relatable to a large part of of the interent. It's bizzare.
Also when poop knocks at the door, ANSWER! Don't keep putting it off if at all humanly possible. The longer poop sits in your colon, the drier it gets and the harder it will be to move later.
And the bidet? With the right pressure it can help knock loose those last little nuggies that you weren't able to get enough oomph behind to dislodge.
Playing asteroids! Pew pew!
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I used a bidet in Thailand and water blew up my ass so hard that it brushed my teeth.
Absolutely never again.
That's called that flossing, duh. What did you think water picks were?
The same thing happened to me in Spain. It wasn't until I used a friends bidet attachment that I was convinced. It was much easier to control.
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And if people can't or don't want to immediately install such an attachment, because they have no way of trying out a bidet, you can also buy a travel bidet online, which basically looks like a bottle, and they're representative of the real thing, albeit not as comfortable, of course.
Took me a few days to figure out how to best sploosh myself with that bottle, but I've preferred it since then, even though I still don't have an attachment.
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Eat more fiber, do more cardio, and buy a bidet.
Started taking fiber supplements (psyllium husk from Costco). The change was revelatory. Went from trying to clean peanut butter out of carpet to perfectly clean single wipes, every time. REVELATORY.
I take them because of IBS. Life-changer.
But also it could be wheat intolerance... It took me over 30 years to discover it.
The gen Z version of delete wife, hit Facebook, divorce lawyer.
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whats troubling is that this is POV
I think my cat would have the same face if he was watching me wipe for half an hour straight without giving him attention. But yeah, not a POV.
Their significant other has broke into the bathroom teary-eyed wondering how much longer they have to sit waiting with the movie paused
You're supposed to finish pooping before you wipe.
DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO
Do-Do*
Since switching to bidet, I can eat spicy food again without fear of rectalbution.
Is that a thing? I've been theorizing so, but kind of hard to know when your backend would normally be on fire.
Is it because the bidet just splooshes the spicy poop away? Or are there like miniscule wounds there from all the dry-rubbing? I know, when you've got an irritable bum, doctors will prescribe bidets for that...
Imma answer this sorta seriously:
When you wipe like you're attempting to scrub away a particularly peculiar protruding posterior particulate you are often actually just causing damage to the rather soft and sensitive rectal tissue. This typically results in irritation. This irritation can lead to itching. Itching leads to the need to scratch, which can take the form of wiping.
Thankfully (usually) the body tends to focus a bit more on areas where bacteria frequent. So abrasions or tears in the rectum won't normally cause further complications. However, it is recommended to seek relief from symptoms by obtaining a safe anti-itch cream, being gentler, and generally just coping. I suspect that a bidet is also recommended because it causes less/no trauma to an area already sensitive, especially when healing.
For burning, such as from spicy foods, I'd guess a bidet acts in a similar fashion to running a minor burn under water until the pain subsides. Just don't go shoving any sterile gauze up in there unless you want to be featured on one of the Fire Department Chronicles' shorts.
It's infuriating that it's both people being so dumb they can't understand basic grammar and people doing it because it gets more comments. Both of those things are just so shitty and disappointing.
I’ve seen it being used wrong so many times now my brain just picks the correct interpretation most of the time.
I predict the “you’re”/“your” distinction will be gone in 100 years. Maybe it’s all “you” in another 100.
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There is life before the bidet, and then life after the bidet.
My what is on the 368th wipe?
Eat more vegetables ffs
2 capsules of psyllium fiber with every meal will change this cat's life.
The shit accelerates
I think this means you're not done pooping.
Time for a shower.
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