this post was submitted on 23 Feb 2024
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Alabama Chief Justice Tom Parker indicated on the show he was a proponent of the “Seven Mountains Mandate,” an explicitly theocratic doctrine at the heart of Christian nationalism.

Alabama Chief Justice Tom Parker, who wrote the concurring opinion in last week’s explosive Alabama Supreme Court ruling that frozen embryos have the same rights as living children, recently appeared on a show hosted by self-anointed “prophet” and QAnon conspiracy theorist.

Parker was the featured guest on “Someone You Should Know,” hosted by Johnny Enlow, a Christian nationalist influencer and devoted supporter of former President Donald Trump. Over the course of an 11-minute interview, Parker articulated a theocratic worldview at odds with a functioning, pluralistic society.

“God created government,” he told Enlow, adding that it’s “heartbreaking” that “we have let it go into the possession of others.”

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[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 97 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Hear me out.

  1. Buy a massive freezer.

  2. Adopt every single frozen embryo you can. There should be a bunch available in Alabama.

  3. Move to Alabama.

  4. Claim every single one for tax credit.

  5. Bankrupt the state government.

If that doesn't work, keep going.

  1. Register every fetus that's been frozen for at least 18 years to vote. They can't speak for themselves, so someone has to.

  2. Elect sane people to office.

[–] RunningInRVA@lemmy.world 30 points 8 months ago (4 children)

When your freezer conks out and all of your “children” are dead, then you are now liable.

This is why people doing IVF are so terrified. They could be held liable if their embryos become non-viable.

[–] TurtleJoe@lemmy.world 20 points 8 months ago (2 children)

You can also draw a straight line between "embryos are children" and "all embryos must be implanted."

[–] AutistoMephisto@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago

Exactly. They would probably force implant embryos into women, and then arrest them for murder if the embryo fails to take hold.

[–] SupraMario@lemmy.world 19 points 8 months ago (2 children)

It's an act of God that the power went out.

[–] tacosplease@lemmy.world 10 points 8 months ago

Except in TX

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago

Ar wants your [frozen] children!

[–] Zink@programming.dev 7 points 8 months ago

I’d definitely get redundant generators and batteries to protect my income-I MEAN, my family.

[–] olympicyes@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Can embryos inherit property? Could they be an end around on inheritance tax? The mobile children of the donors could be guardians of the inheriting embryo?

[–] RunningInRVA@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Why are you asking me? Ask the judge in Alabama who figured this all out before making his shortsighted and dickhole decision.

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[–] theUnlikely@sopuli.xyz 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

How much is a frozen fetus going for these days?

[–] ikidd@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

Ima need about tree-fitty.

[–] Jaysyn@kbin.social 88 points 8 months ago (6 children)

Partisan judges are automatically unqualified.

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[–] Pistcow@lemm.ee 54 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I'd be claiming a shitload of dependants on my state taxes.

[–] Zron@lemmy.world 9 points 8 months ago (1 children)

1 ovulation a month.

12 months a year.

Some basic math shows that my wife and I have well over 100 children according to Alabama, a good chunk from before I even met her.

Most couples with at least one female in it will have similar or higher numbers.

And all this just in time for tax season. It’s gonna be like Christmas for women, and hell for state tax officials.

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago (2 children)

They’d have to be fertilized embryos, not just eggs, so not quite. But pretty damn close.

[–] Zron@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Maybe I’m ignorant of how IVF works, but I thought as soon as the embryo was made it had to be implanted. The freezer is just for the eggs.

I could be wrong, I’ve been fortunate enough not to have to deal with IVF.

[–] plantedworld@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

IVF has a lot of frozen embryos that don't get used. Fertilized. They get extra because it can be tricky for it to take, so it often takes several tries

[–] Zron@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago

Fascinating.

I thought it would be quite risky to freeze an embryo, as they start dividing extremely rapidly once fertilization takes place.

Man, science is so cool.

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago

God's stepchildren.

[–] MonsiuerPatEBrown@reddthat.com 44 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

If they are children in Alabama then why aren't they working in a coal mine or slaughter house ?

Q.E.D.

and get jobs you lazy hippy fetuses

[–] Telorand@reddthat.com 11 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Because there's no coal in Alabama. You're thinking West Virginia. It's cotton fields in AL!

/s

[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 3 points 8 months ago

The embryos yearn for the cotton fields.

[–] CharlesDarwin@lemmy.world 44 points 8 months ago (1 children)

WTAF is a theocrat like this even doing in our government in the first place? He apparently cannot separate his little book club's narratives from his role in a secular government and now we learn he is a conspiracy theorist?

[–] Uglyhead@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

What book club?

I don’t think he,…reads

[–] CharlesDarwin@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago

A lot of members of that little book club don't even read the book they claim is sacred to them. One doesn't have to be a reader to be a member of that book club.

[–] Hylactor@sopuli.xyz 37 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Just being extremely generous and assuming for the sake of argument that every crime that Trump has been proven to have committed was somehow a conspiratorial hit job perpetrated by some massive shadowy leftist cabal. I'll never understand how the "grab em by the pussy" guy is the Christian choice. How the guy who cultivated the image of ruthless businessman, and who fired people for the sake of entertainment is the Christian choice. The man who famously cited second Corinthians as "two Corinthians" to a room full of evangelical Christians is the Christian choice. How the guy who insults people so regularly and often that there is a whole wikipedia article dedicated to it is the Christian choice. And finally, how the Wharton grad, billionaire New York real estate tycoon somehow doesn't represent the "coastal elite" which is supposedly the enemy he is fighting against to restore "true Christian values".

[–] thisisnotgoingwell@programming.dev 15 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Honestly, I'll never understand how Christianity has become ingrained with right wing politics. Modern day conservative churches are at odds with everything that Christ taught and stood for.

[–] Got_Bent@lemmy.world 14 points 8 months ago

Christianity as a governing body has pretty much always been oppressive and against anything progressive.

Then you take your puritans, who were so far off the horizon of extremities that even established Christian governments in Europe were all like, "dude, you guys are cray-cray," dump them on the shores of an entirely new continent populated by brown people who don't speak Jesus, sprinkle in a bunch of beer and guns, add some African slaves, and you've got the foundation of the land of the free

[–] OldWoodFrame@lemm.ee 8 points 8 months ago

They're just showing what wins when their politics conflict with their religion.

[–] LocoOhNo@lemmus.org 23 points 8 months ago (2 children)

One need only look at the state to realize it's a shit show. Nothing in the Bible belt is worth saving.

[–] ElleChaise@kbin.social 7 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Lotta good people you're throwing out with the bathwater there, but fuck 'em, I guess. You're stoking the flames whose destruction you condemn.

[–] RGB3x3@lemmy.world 20 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Super-liberal here who moved to Alabama because the jobs were too good and the cost of living is great; I'm going to do my best to vote these fuckers out and try to get more liberals moving into the state. The conservatives are doing their fucking best to disincentivize liberals to move here, but GA is a good example that liberals can flip a state.

[–] CharlesDarwin@lemmy.world 7 points 8 months ago

I've said this before, but if I was a billionaire like Soros, I'd spend some time on trying to get people to relocate with direct financial incentives. Form some kind of foundation/not for profit that sets up places in red states for people most likely to vote Democratic to move there, have jobs, and have a decent quality of life. Often it's going to be cheaper, too.

It's only due to the way we are dispersed in this country that we keep getting too many cons in office. Someone with the money could hire people to make this happen...

It would not even take that many people moving to the right states and the Republican Party would be nearly powerless.

[–] LocoOhNo@lemmus.org 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I don't know where you're seeing "good people" in the South. I live in Tennessee and I have to endure hearing people every goddamn day talking about destroying the country just to get back at the "left."

It's the only place I've ever seen "Trump Stores." And these people are ravenous about a second civil war. I just refuse to engage in trying to save people who don't want to be saved. Fuck the lot of them.

[–] assassin_aragorn@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Well, I presume you're one of the good people, aren't you? I don't want to burn you to the ground along with the rest of Tennessee, even if you're a willing sacrifice. Any scorched earth tactic has to be preceded by getting people like you out of harm's way first.

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[–] Kaput@lemmy.world 14 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Is that a Y'all-Quaeda branch?

[–] OldWoodFrame@lemm.ee 15 points 8 months ago (3 children)

7 Mountains Dominionism is literally Sharia law but Christianity instead of Islam.

[–] RedditReject@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago

It is funny how similar they are. Only the name is different

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[–] rottingleaf@lemmy.zip 9 points 8 months ago

Christian nationalism

You really have these things upside down in the New World.

[–] Flumpkin@slrpnk.net 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago

He looks like the guy that gets bitten but tries to hide it in zombie movies.

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