Ask Lemmy

Not sure if it'd help, but you could stick a buuunch of camping, hiking, outdoors, etc. stickers on your van. Try to turn its image from a "ghetto" van to a "hippy / outdoor enthusiast" van. I imagine you can order large sticker packs online for very cheap.

Pigs is pigs, buddy.

You gotta play along unless you wanna start shit. And pigs being pigs means you can't really start telling them what they're doing is inappropriate or unnecessary, that puts em in fight or flight mode and pigs don't fly.

I'd guess your best bet would be that they get used to you and become nonchalant with their check-ins. Just be stupid friendly about the whole thing and maybe try to remember a few of their names. If it's a small town, can't be too many of em. Eventually maybe you can shift it from "Good afternoon, Officer, what seems to be the problem?" to "Ah hey Steve, Mrs. Granger worried about me again? Aint that sweet, how's the kids?"

Edit: I see elsewhere in the thread you mentioned you're living in the van. That makes things harder. Even if you're complying with the law, pigs hate that shit. When I was living in a car, I had a sob story ready for any cop that interrogated me and if I got caught and had to use it, I wasn't sleeping in that county again for another month. The campground bit is especially fucking frustrating, you PAID to be there, that's all on the up and up. They're monsters, buddy, not sure how to help, but I find being some caricature outta some 50's PSA film to em pads their egos and smooths interactions in general. Tho the shoddy van won't help.

Keep Pokemon Go on your phone, when they approach, open the app and then nerd the fuck out on them about whatever Pokemon are nearby and try to recruit them, they'll leave you alone real quick.

If you're not doing anything illegal then I highly recommend keeping your hands out in the open where they can see both of them, and politely answering their questions.

They have a gun, so its not about right/wrong, it's about your own safety. You don't know if that's a decent one or a shitty one.

Assuming this is USA, the phrase you're looking for is "Am I being detained, or am I free to go?"

For a more detailed answer, this is what the ACLU has to say.

“What seems to be the problem officer?” Is how you should start every conversation with the police. Be polite, respectful, and firm in your rights. And most importantly don’t say more than the answer to legal questions.

When cops don't know the laws they are enforcing and thus telling your rights is not only seen as demeaning since it's their job to know, but makes them actively hostile and more likely to violate those rights out of embarrassment, it's a no win scenario. Better to just go along with their security theater and say as little as possible outside of answering direct questions.

You only have rights if you survive the encounter first.

The cop mentality is all about feeling superior, so the last thing you want is to challenge him. Probably gets angry real quick and maybe even violent.

You have to treat them as if they are criminals. Don't upset them, stay quiet, try to act submissive.

How you want the world to treat you or the car only exists in your head. In reality, people gets treated after how they are perceived by others.

1. Always record the police.
2. STFU.

But sometimes you can tell that the police will get violent if you don't lick their boots, so if you have to change your game plan, do what you need to do to.

Say "hi".

Damn being white guy is the best shit ever.

What color are you? Pigs basically use as training material, so the darker shade you are the more careful you gotta be with slow hand movements and clear communication.

The answer is “am I being detained or am I free to go?” The answer to every question after is “lawyer” or shut the fuck up. Every day is Shut The Fuck Up Friday.

Are you living out of said van? That complicates things quite a bit. If you really are just chillin' just show them your ID and get on with it. None of these dudes are trained and are already aggressive towards you.

You shut the fuck up is what you do and film them if possible. Are you under arrest? No. Then police may not detain you without cause. See ya!

All inexperienced young people who get into issues with cops or landlords seem to want to be as deferential as possible, thinking that will mitigate any trouble that's coming their way. But in essence, these people always ask for ways to make the cops/landlord's job easier. Don't tell them what words they need to say to you, don't ask for specific paperwork. It's their job to remove your personal freedoms and liberties, why would you make it easier for them to do that?

If you're in a vehicle, they do have the right to check if you're the registered owner, are licensed and insured, tags up to date, etc.

Best advice:

https://youtu.be/6EI_RYIEtrg

https://youtu.be/RkN4duV4ia0

Longer, but the most important 45 minutes you can spend today:

https://youtu.be/d-7o9xYp7eE

tl;dw - The Miranda warning tells you everything you need to know: "Anything you say can and will be used AGAINST YOU." Not for you, AGAINST YOU.

Nothing you say to the cops will be used to help you, so do not talk to them.

Best bet? Get some local PD/Sherrif or PBA (or equivalent) stickers and place near the rear license plate and on the glass by the driver side A pillar.