this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2023
182 points (97.9% liked)

Not The Onion

12392 readers
1087 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

In the first day they sent out flyers, the After School Satan Club already has three students signed up for the new year.

all 20 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 74 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Bless the After School Satan (ASS) club 🤣 👹

Edit: such a sweet piece of naming it brings a tear to my eye 🍑🫏💦

[–] kescusay@lemmy.world 29 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Motto: "Come to school for a piece of ASS!"

... I feel bad about writing that.

[–] CmdrShepard@lemmy.one 17 points 11 months ago

"We have room in our ASS for everyone!"

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 11 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Why? Its fun(ny)

Get your fill at/in the ASS club is funnier

[–] harry_balzac@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

I'm pretty sure that's the recruiting theme for Christian school teachers.

[–] Fiivemacs@lemmy.ca 51 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Satanic church probably does more good for humanity then those bible thumpers ever have or will...

[–] SinningStromgald@lemmy.world 15 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Not gonna bother looking for sources and just agree that what you said is a fact.

[–] ButtDrugs@lemm.ee 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Church of Satan is weird, Temple of Satan is 👌

[–] Fiivemacs@lemmy.ca 0 points 11 months ago

Didn't even know there was a difference

[–] ieightpi@lemmy.world 43 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I think all religion is absolutely dumb and superstitious, but I give satanism a pass for the sake of essentially trolling what is considered normal religious standards.

[–] Khanzarate@lemmy.world 51 points 11 months ago

satanic temple doesn't believe in satan anyway, they're solid.

[–] w2tpmf@lemmy.world 12 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

They don't troll. They have a believe system they honestly try to teach that is based on human morals instead of radicalized fiction. It's a genuine attempt to replace theistic religion with a religion of the real human existence.

Pastafarianism on the other hand is designed to troll normal religions.

[–] ieightpi@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

Very interesting

[–] penguinsAreRapists@lemmy.world 32 points 11 months ago
[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] kescusay@lemmy.world 26 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I mean, "after school Satan club" definitely sounds like something the Onion would come up with to make fun of the satanic panic Christian types.

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 11 points 11 months ago

That's fair. I've been following them for a while, so it doesn't seem strange to me, but I can see what you mean.

[–] thanks_shakey_snake@lemmy.ca 5 points 11 months ago

This is correct.