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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/FalleNtsu on 2023-08-11 21:21:31.
For some context I 30M live with my GF 28F about 10 min away from my Mother 60F. M was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer early this year about 3 weeks after my grandmother my mother's mother passed away. This has been a rough time for all of us and it seems like we never get a break. After my mother was first diagnosed she went into the hospital to have fluid drained from her chest as she was struggling to breathe and that's how we found out she had lung cancer. She was in the hospital for 3 weeks and I went to visit her every day at first then every second day till she came out. once she was out of the hospital I continued to visit my mother every 2nd day to help her with things around the house, bring her food move things around, and just do general things that she couldn't do. It was also at this time that she started Chemotherapy and immunotherapy. These put her under a lot of strain and she lost a lot of weight and became very lethargic. it was around this time that I would still visit her every 2 days but also bring food, help with shopping, and again anything else she needed. During this time it has been very taxing on me as everything has now had to revolve around my mother. She expects me to always reply to any messages within 10 min when she calls me I should be at her house within 10 min and just always be available. In the beginning, this was not too bad as like I said I live 10 min from her and I work from home with flexible hours. However, over the last few months, this constant need has put a major strain on me personally and I am just tired of always having to drop everything and come running. My GF has confronted me recently in tears saying she feels horrible for this but that it feels like my mother is abusing me and taking advantage of me. She says this because my mother has used emotional blackmail on me before to get her way and generally whenever my mother feels like I'm not doing enough will convince me that I need to do more. Then yesterday I had to take my mother to the hospital again as she has developed flu-like symptoms which can be very bad with her current constitution as it can be fatal. The problem is that after I took her to the hospital and checked her in I then told her I would be visiting on the weekend. and she started to cry saying that I need to think about her and that it wasn't good enough. We also had a call earlier today where she cried on the phone telling me I need to think about her and sit in her shoes to understand how she feels. I understand that she is very lonely as she never dated after my parents divorced when I was 7 and she raised me by herself since then. But over time it's getting harder and harder to keep caring and to keep doing the things to make her happy and it's putting strain on my relationship. So I wanted to ask the fair people of Reddit WIBTA if I told my mother to just leave me alone and that I'm tired of her and her neediness
Info: Sorry, I should have added this originaly but after her last few rounds of chemo, the tumors in her lungs have reduced by almost 50%. Unfortunately, there is no way to completely get rid of the cancer however if the treatment continues to go well then she will be able to have many more years ahead of her