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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/heathcoffee on 2023-08-11 11:22:20.
My grandma’s health has taken a turn for the worse & she’s been given 1-2 weeks to live. I immediately bought a plane ticket and am now sitting in a hotel room, wide awake and anxiously waiting for 8a so I can go see her.
I’m scared to see her in such health. She has always been so active, an absolute saint, the most patient and loving person I’ve ever met. I’m scared because I don’t know what to say to her. I have so many questions. I never asked about her life enough and now I want to know it all but due to her being incoherent most of time, I’m afraid that’s not possible now.
My grandmother came out as lesbian 35 years ago and has been with the same woman for all of those years. However, 10 years ago my immediate family (dad, mom, siblings) passed away in a tragic and fatal car wreck. Our local piece of shit newspaper (in our heavily religious town) wrote an article on the front page the following morning saying my grandmother was to blame because she was lesbian and god was punishing her.
Since then, she stopped sharing a bed with her girlfriend. She no longer claims to be lesbian. The romance fizzled and died and they have since been just roommates. She’s clung to god and attends church, reads the Bible regularly, and gives every last penny to the church, even though it has made her broke and poor.
It’s heartbreaking. I want to tell her the accident wasn’t her fault. I should have told her long ago but didn’t know how to approach it. I’m ashamed of how cowardly I’ve been.
But now she is on her death bed. And I want to tell her. But is now even the time? I don’t want to upset her but I also think she needs to feel at peace with that.
Besides that question, I also wanted to ask what should I talk about with her? Im so lost right now. Any words of advice would mean so much to me.