this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2023
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[–] demonquark@lemmy.ml 157 points 1 year ago (17 children)

A horse? Seriously? No way can this guy win against a horse. Have you seen horses? They’re huge.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 75 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Fast too! And have you counted the legs?? DOUBLE the number, I shit you not!

[–] phorq@lemmy.ml 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thank you for not shitting me, that sounds more unpleasant than fighting a horse...

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Idunno, some people pay good money for that sort of thing 🤷

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[–] nossaquesapao@lemmy.eco.br 52 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

When people say stuff like this, I assume they never lived much outside of cities, and never had much contact with animals, besides pets. Seriously, a horse? Even smaller animals can be a challenge. Most animals are stronger and/or faster than us, and have fangs, claws, etc.

[–] TheGreenGolem@lemm.ee 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I mean I or you certainly couldn't get it in PvP. But if you can scare it enough so it starts to run, a human (of old times) would win.

If you have trail finding/following skills, you can literally chase it to exhaustion. Humans have one of the best stamina in the animal kingdom. We used to chase animals until they just couldn't move further. Apart from hunting in groups, that was our thing.

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[–] not_that_guy05@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Wogi@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

But it has 3 more! You've just made a temporary tripod angry and it kicks with one whole horsepower.

[–] middleman35@lemmy.nz 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Just to further unbalance things, the Internet tells me that the maximum output of a horse is actually 15 horsepower! So by my math that means there are 59 legs still standing?

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[–] Scubus@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 year ago

Prep time. I choose to use that prep time to install a cattlegrate. I am now basically guaranteed the win.

Or, i bring along poisoned grain and something to hide in/out of the horses reach.

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[–] CheeseNoodle@lemmy.world 84 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I feel like prep time gives the human the advantage, prep is basically our whole thing and you can make a lot of sharpened sticks in an hour.

[–] Jerkface@lemmy.world 36 points 1 year ago (9 children)

I've been around a few horses. If the horse knows you're coming for it, it can and will make you regret it.

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[–] Starkstruck@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Like fr what's a horse gonna do with prep time?

[–] SheDiceToday@eslemmy.es 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Eat alfalfa. Jump the fence and be 10 miles away from where you expect it to be. You'll never find it before you have to sleep, and that's when it'll get ya.

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[–] Tankton@lemm.ee 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] JohnDClay@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Prep time isn't an advantage if you procrastinate!

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[–] PM_ME_FEET_PICS@sh.itjust.works 80 points 1 year ago (3 children)

What the fuck is a horse going to do with prep time? That being said, I am not confident in a 1v1 against an animal with more muscles than myself, even if incrediblely fragile.

Pink fairy armadillo, on the other hand, would be absolutely obliterated by me in unarmed combat.

[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 66 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It will spy on your preparation. Make a plan. Make at least 7 alternative plans, each with contingencies for all your preparation. That's the horses advantage - bigger head means more space to store plans.

Of course it might get spooked by a leaf and fucking die for no reason. You never know. You can't know. That's what makes them so dangerous. To you, and to themselves.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I wish to subscribe to your zoology podcast 😂

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[–] 30p87@feddit.de 40 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Note, they are actually much larger than the average silicon version of it. The largest I could find was 43 cm long, which is OK to take. But normally, they're ~1 m when e... oh wait, you mean "take" as in "win against", nvm.

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[–] Shurf116@lemmy.ml 37 points 1 year ago (4 children)
[–] Grumpy@sh.itjust.works 32 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Not sure who these foolishly brave Americans are who think they can beat an elephant and a grizzly bear bare handed.

[–] azurekevin@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Or even a kangaroo, those things can be scary af. Forget about anything bigger.

[–] Fashim@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

I think your best bet fighting a Kangaroo would be to work it from the sides, Kangaroos can't jump backwards and usually punch or grapple and kick forwards. If you consider it like a southpaw fighting an orthodox boxer, they would have their lead foot on the outside of the orthodox fighters, making the orthodox constantly having to turn towards them while they work from the side and continue pivoting keeping an advantage on their opponent.

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[–] EddoWagt@feddit.nl 26 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The amount of people who don't think they can beat a rat is concerning

[–] FrankTheHealer@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Rats are fast though. Would depend, do I get time to set traps? Bait? Do I get a net or other weapons.

You drop a normal guy in an area with a rat, , with no tools, weapons etc. you'd see him chase the fucker around for an hour before he gives up.

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[–] MargotRobbie@lemm.ee 37 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Let me try, let me try:

Lemmings, would you rather fight 100 duck sized horses or 1 horse sized duck?

[–] VicksVaporBBQrub@sh.itjust.works 21 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

The tiny 1ft -ish extinct Dawn-Horse was a real thing. PBS documentary modeled it as skittish, jumpy, fast, tough enough to drag and push logs. Catch a couple of those and you got youself a pair of 30mph roller skates.
~🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎~

1 horse-sized duck, male, that's in the mood... Ever witness firemen tackle a charged firehose that broke loose and is whipping around... amorously. Now put a Clydesdale at the end of that. You may be chance lucky enough to distract it with bread, but can really only fight it from space.

🦆

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[–] Hadriscus@lemm.ee 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

Obviously the duck-sized horses, that's not even a fight. What amounts to pretty much a t-rex, on the other hand...

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[–] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Do I get tools? If so, the horse sized duck. If not, 100 duck sized horses.

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[–] Siethron@lemmy.world 34 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Ignoring venom and poison, the most dangerous animal a human could realistically win against would be a wolf. That doesn't mean I could win against a wolf, but some humans can and have.

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[–] elbucho@lemmy.world 30 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I could probably take my cat in a fight. There would be significant casualties on my side, to be sure, but I believe I could emerge victorious in the end.

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[–] lowleveldata@programming.dev 16 points 1 year ago (3 children)
[–] PM_ME_FEET_PICS@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 year ago

So do the animals

[–] gkd@lemmy.ml 13 points 1 year ago

Yea, but the horse gets it too.

https://lemmy.ml/pictrs/image/73e593c6-ef7b-4f44-9bcf-d7803eb6ec56.jpeg

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[–] Sharklaser@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 year ago

Yeah punch a horse in the face, see how many broken bones you have if you live lol

That being said, the post is accurate, although took me less than an hour to reply

[–] xantoxis@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

That killed 35 minutes

[–] djsoren19@yiffit.net 9 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Are horse legs actually fragile, or does it take a lot of effort to break one?

If fragile, I think people are overcomplicating this. You'll probably get fucked up in the process, but once the horse is crippled your grim deed is done. If they're not fragile and you'll need to seriously wrassle them down to exert enough force, you're almost certainly dead.

[–] PersnickityPenguin@lemm.ee 34 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Uh, no. And one kick can kill you

Horses can kick forwards, backwards and sideways. They can rear up to about 12 ft tall and stomp your head.

Plus they weigh about 1200-1600 lbs, although percherons weigh much more.

[–] Afghaniscran@feddit.uk 10 points 1 year ago (10 children)

Does my prep time involve sourcing weapons? I think a sledgehammer would do the trick if I can hide out at the fight zone prior to the horse arriving then sneak attack.

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[–] Wogi@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You mean like, fighting a horse by punching it? No that fucker gonna kill you. You might win if you have a spear and you know how to use it. But if it gets to you with it's hooves you've lost.

Now if you can convince the horse you're a lot scarier than you are, it might do what you want it to.

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[–] corrupts_absolutely@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

dont wanna appear braggadocios but just saying u throw me into a cage with a lion and the brother will tap the tatami in a whisper

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I have no idea what "tap the tatami in a whisper" means, but it sounds uncomfortably sexual 😬

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