"No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.
Matthew 6:24
this post was submitted on 27 Oct 2023
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Thank you. The best way to fight this is quoting scripture. Half these chuckles haven’t even seen a bible, let alone know what the words inside say.
If any of the chucklefucks actually gave a shit about what the bible says, they'd all be as socialist as Jesus and would've burned Trump at a stake for being the antichrist.
You can't deprogram religious extremists with religion.
I'm Jewish, and thus not an expert on Jesus by any means. Still, even I know that Biblical Jesus would be a socialist today, not a Republican.
He gave out free healthcare.
He fed the hungry without charging them.
He hung around people who were on the fringes of society.
He worked against the wealthy.
If Biblical Jesus were to magically appear in modern society, the only reason he would enter a MAGA church would be to flip a few tables.
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It doesn't matter, they pick and choose what they want to believe. If you try throwing scripture at them they just contort themselves into a pretzel trying to explain why that particular scripture is not to be taken literally.
Just because they will be 100% unwilling to admit to you that they are actually physically experiencing the feeling of doubt, does not mean it isn't actually happening.
Don't expect them to be honest about what's going on inside them though. They value fighting, never giving up, persistence, dedication, loyalty, strength, power, confidence and security. None of these things makes it more likely for them to admit to you when something they disagree with might sound reasonable.
It's a defense mechanism. Can't just give it permission to function though.
You do have to back off before you actually infuriate them though, as the emotion of anger will strengthen the defense mechanisms dramatically. Better to walk away having peacefully left some food for thought. You can't convince them though, being so readily convinced would itself be unacceptable to them, just on principle.
I find it fun backing them into corners and them becoming enraged. I then point out that they are not being very Christ like, and that usually ends my conversation with the charlatan.
Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
Matthew 19:21
Motherfucker better not mix fabrics.
Also better not eat shellfish or pork. And he absolutely better not go back on his word. (The tale of Onan is sometimes misinterpreted as being about masturbation, but it's really about God killing a guy for going back on his word.)
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He's wearing a good quality suit, he's mixing materials as that liner is almost certainly silk and the shirt linen or cotton.
That's such a classic answer because the bible doesn't say shit other than what we decide it says. Our interpretation of it follows cultural norms, not the other way around. One thing it damn sure doesn't say is abortion is wrong or that life begins at conception - it explicitly says the opposite and that hasn't somehow changed anyone's opinions.
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There are some seriously juicy bits in the bible I'd read to him and ask him: Is this really your world view?
His response: "The Bible says a lot of things." (Then ignores what it means)
"The important thing to keep in mind is that there are cherry picked verses in the Bible that justify my bigoted views."
So has he sold all of his possessions and given the proceeds to the poor?
No no no, he worships supply side Jesus, not Hebrew Jesus. I mean fuck Jesus was brown...
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If only we could have this conversation happen then:
Chapter and verse! I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I had you here. I’m interested in selling my youngest daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. She’s a Georgetown sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, and always cleared the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be? While thinking about that, can I ask another? My Chief of Staff, Leo McGarry, insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or is it okay to call the police? Here’s one that’s really important, ‘cause we’ve got a lot of sports fans in this town. Touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean: Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point? Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother, John, for planting different crops side by side? Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads? Think about those questions, would you? One last thing, while you may be mistaking this for your monthly meeting of the Ignorant Tight-Ass Club, in this building, when the President stands, nobody sits.
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Dude claims to be a Christian, but he’s the one who needs to read his Bible. Half the stuff he espouses doesn’t come from the New Testament.
A lot of the stuff wingnuts espouse doesn't come from the new testament. They love the fire-and-brimstone, it shall be an abomination unto whatever horseshit from the old testament -- but only the bits and pieces of it that fit their preconceived notions and particular brand of hate.
They also love to blather about the "ten commandments." They can never tell you which set of ten, though. (Because they haven't read the damn book; The list in Exodus is different from the one in Deuteronomy.) None of them seem to be prepared to cite what Big J said about the commandments, either.
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I wonder what his two daughters think about him being fully on board with this: 
"ExCUSE ME? You cannot rape these men, I believe they are angels, and they're my guests! The AUDACITY of your request! How DARE you! But please, rape my daughters on your way out. I insist." -Lot
Don't worry. Those daughters got their revenge. After Sodom and Gemorah were destroyed, they got their father drunk, slept with him, and had his babies.
But the Bible is totally fine for kids to read, everyone!
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How does someone this deranged get elected to any position of power more influential than a homeowner's association?
Leaded Gasoline and disinformation.
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Bet you anything this asshole ignores most, if not all, of the teachings of Jesus whenever it's convenient or profitable.
Sooo... that means he is qualified to hold a position in ancient Judea - not modern-day USA.
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So I take it that he has no opinions about his civil rights, or anyone else’s. Because the Bible does not talk about our rights, only our responsibilities. You will not find a single verse referencing freedom of religion, surely. But also nothing about freedom of speech, the right to bear arms, freedom from unreasonable search and seizure, the right to privacy; or the right to a speedy trial by a jury of your peers, in which you have the right to face your accusers, and to see the evidence against you. And on and on, all the way down. Nothing at all.
These rights were so important to the colonists that they laid down their lives for them, against one the the most powerful empires in the history of the world. Why doesn’t Mike Johnson respect the founders of his own country? Or perhaps he doesn’t actually understand anything about it?
Contradictory, ridiculously outdated, and easy to twist to your narrative?
Great worldview.
Implying that everyone not only has a Bible on their shelf, but multiple.
Isn’t that the book that talks about horse semen and beastiality? Probably shouldn’t be in schools.
The hypocrisy of the modern Republican Party I guess, but what would such an apparently devout Christian man see in Donald Trump of all people?!
I've read the Bible, multiple times. And only once when I still considered myself a Christian.
I call BULLSHIT.
Except don't actually do that because he hasn't read it either, just just does whatever the fuck he wants and ignores everything that doesn't agree with what he wanted it to say.
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Bears eating children, preachers cursing fig trees, women being turned to salt.
Illegal pop-up restaurant serving fish of dubious origin and wine without a liquor license
All that says to me is he has shit for brains.
No it's not. It's what HE thinks is in the bible (spoiler, a lot of what he thinks is in there isn't).
Jesus and John Wayne is an excellent book that recounts, in considerable detail, how the evangelical movement became based on manliness instead of scripture.
Specifically how it got to the point where Der Gropenfurher is EXACTLY what America’s “evangelical religious” want. He is the symptom, not the cause.
Blessed are the cheese makers
I encourage everyone to read at least the first half of the Bible so you can see how fucking ape shit wacky that crap is
What a bold-faced lie. Nobody follows the Bible directly, especially not him.
In my youth I once did what this man is telling folks to do now, you know what it did? It made me want to stop people like him.
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