this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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I'm a financial advisor and you should take this seriously

top 28 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] MrPoopyButthole@lemmy.world 67 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah but sucking that much dick is difficult when you don't have the heroin to forget...

[–] WereCat@lemmy.world 57 points 1 year ago (1 children)
  • Find a $500k house for sale
  • Don't buy it
  • You just saved $500k
  • Repeat
[–] redballooon@lemm.ee 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

woah, just last week I didn't buy a $3m villa. I gotta check my balances.

[–] Lexam@lemmy.ca 25 points 1 year ago (2 children)

That's $109,500 a year before taxes. Not bad but not rich.

[–] takeda@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

That's the money you save by not using heroin, not income, you should not need to pay taxes on it.

It’s definitely not, at least by my math. 300/8 (for an 8 hour day) is 37.5 an hour. 40 hours a week makes this 1,500. 52 weeks in a year is 78,000. A much lower number.

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 24 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Tried this but I now have debt with people that want to hurt me. Help.

[–] takeda@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

Fight hate with love. You need more dick sucking to pay your debt. Remember, don't do it for free.

[–] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Just sell your kneecaps. Win-win since they can no longer break them.

[–] TheRealLinga@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Funny thing is I actually lived that life. I was a heroin addict, I got to the point of needing $200-$300 daily to get me by. Part of my motivation for quitting was the thought that I would have so much money for whatever once I kicked the habit... and once I got off the shit, I no longer had that kind of money. I guess I wasn't desperate enough to figure out schemes to make that much every day. So this meme is bullshit! I thank the gods I didn't end up a prostitute at least... but I would probably have more money if I did. Damn it.

[–] bitsplease@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Out of curiosity - what schemes were you cooking up for that kind of money? Given that you said you didnt end up a prostitute the obvious answer is out lol

[–] TheRealLinga@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was a functioning addict, and had a job where I was able to tweak the records here and there to make more every day than I should have... by a couple hundred. It was amazing how incompetent the boss man was.

[–] bitsplease@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago

That's wild, can't believe they didn't notice thousands missing every month..

Glad you got clean before things caught up

[–] pipe01@lemmy.pipe01.net 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Damn, $300 daily is a crazy amount of money

[–] meliaesc@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

$50/hr at a standard 9-5, ignoring the need for basic necessities like shelter or food.

[–] DrQuint@lemm.ee 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I've told this to smokers all my life. By quitting cigars they could have 2 extra ice creams plus some cheetos every day. Yeah those were my metrics when I started, I refuse to change them.

[–] Darkhoof@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

But then they would eventually become obese.

[–] remotelove@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think the real benefit is discovering what it is like to be in a pure and absolute state of desperation trying to find enough money to get the next fix.

You could become a heroin addict, or a CEO that is about to report during earnings season. There is little to distinguish the two when you look at it.

[–] BottleOfAlkahest@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

One could end up in prison in the process of making the needed money and the other is a CEO

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

How to get rich:

  1. Get lots of money
  2. ??????????
  3. Profit
[–] jcdenton@lemy.lol 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You forgot the 20,000 in rehab therapy

[–] PieMePlenty@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

You pay it off in 2 months though.