YOU'VE GONE...YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR THIS TIME, YOU CAMEL-MANNERED, TUNIC-WETTING MOLLYCODDLE! AN ARROW IN THE THROAT OUGHT TO SHUT YOU UP!
this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2023
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THIS, RECRUITS, IS A 20-KILO FERROUS SLUG. FEEL THE WEIGHT. EVERY FIVE SECONDS, THE MAIN GUN OF AN EVEREST-CLASS DREADNOUGHT ACCELERATES ONE TO 1.3 PERCENT OF LIGHT SPEED. IT IMPACTS WITH THE FORCE OF A 38-KILOTOMB BOMB. THAT IS THREE TIMES THE YIELD OF THE CITY BUSTER DROPPED ON HIROSHIMA BACK ON EARTH.THAT MEANS SIR ISAAC NEWTON IS THE DEADLIEST SON-OF-A-BITCH IN SPACE.
I'M HERE TO KICK ASS AND CHEW BUBBLEGUM, AND I'M ALL OUTTA GUM!
I'M COMMANDER SHEPARD, AND THIS IS MY FAVORITE STORE ON THE CITADEL.
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, DON’T MAKE LEMONADE. MAKE LIFE TAKE THE LEMONS BACK! GET MAD! I DON’T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS, WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE? DEMAND TO SEE LIFE’S MANAGER! MAKE LIFE RUE THE DAY IT THOUGHT IT COULD GIVE CAVE JOHNSON LEMONS! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I’M THE MAN WHO’S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! WITH THE LEMONS! I’M GONNA GET MY ENGINEERS TO INVENT A COMBUSTIBLE LEMON THAT BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!
"WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, DON'T MAKE LEMONADE. MAKE LIFE TAKE THE LEMONS BACK! GET MAD! I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE?! DEMAND TO SEE LIFE'S MANAGER! MAKE LIFE RUE THE DAY IT THOUGHT IT COULD GIVE CAVE JOHNSON LEMONS! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! I'M THE MAN WHO'S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! WITH THE LEMONS! I'M GONNA GET MY ENGINEERS TO INVENT A COMBUSTIBLE LEMON THAT BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!"
MEDIC!
YOU EUTHANIZED YOUR FAITHFUL COMPANION CUBE FASTER THAN ANY TEST SUBJECT ON RECORD. CONGRATULATIONS.
FINISH HIM!
SHAKE IT, BABY!
PAULA'S CALL IS ABSORBED BY THE DARKNESS