this post was submitted on 02 Jul 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 35 comments
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[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 5 points 20 hours ago

The Monty Hall Bathroom Problem:

If you open one door, and the bathroom security guard shows you another, do you switch or not?

Can you find the One Unisex ~~Toilet~~ Throne to Rule Them All?

[–] joella@lemmy.blahaj.zone 22 points 1 day ago (1 children)

gasp there's a transformer in the electrical bathroom!

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 7 points 1 day ago

"My name is Optimus Prime..."

[–] cRazi_man@europe.pub 68 points 1 day ago (4 children)

I identify as electrical (pronouns: zip/zap).

[–] grrgyle@slrpnk.net 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I was actually raised by a single umpire and everyone just assumed I would turn out umpire too but I'm actually electrical

[–] bampop@lemmy.world 3 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

Nobody is born an umpire, you become an umpire if you get bitten by one but umpire parents always have electrical babies

[–] A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Same, literally 😅 its my job

[–] SippyCup@feddit.nl 2 points 1 day ago

Username checks out.

[–] lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 day ago

Happy for you that you finally get your recognition!

[–] abfarid@startrek.website 33 points 1 day ago (7 children)

What are they implying with that wide-ass door for women?

[–] FenrirIII@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

I thought this was America!

I don’t like yo mama jokes. I just think about them.

But seriously, strollers and wheelchairs.

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago (2 children)

It’s probably for ADA compliance

[–] Hux@lemmy.ml 19 points 1 day ago

If it were for ADA compliance, the “Umpires” door would need a Braille sign.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Compliance with their wide asses!

[–] abbadon420@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago

I like wide asses and I cannot lie

[–] jewbacca117@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

ADA compliance most likely. If you look closely, everything on the Umpire door is also in Braille.

[–] VonReposti@feddit.dk 9 points 1 day ago

wide-ass

They're probably implying exactly this.

[–] Sadbutdru@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Also the only one with a key pad!?

[–] abfarid@startrek.website 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I can't extract a yo momma joke from that though

[–] Iapetus@slrpnk.net 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

If yo mama has wheels, she needs wheelchair access toilets.

[–] abfarid@startrek.website 1 points 1 day ago

Nah, she would've been a bike.

Maybe for strollers?

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 24 points 1 day ago (2 children)

That 'Women' door be thicc tho

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Probably USA.

[–] doingthestuff@lemy.lol 4 points 1 day ago

Electricians and umpires don't require accessible doors.

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 5 points 1 day ago

Are umpires electric?

[–] baggachipz@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I’m tired of umpires being discriminated against! They are not “separate but equal”. I say we treat them like the humans they pretend to be.

[–] wise_pancake@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 day ago

I’ll stop discriminating against umpires when they learn to see.

[–] myster0n@feddit.nl 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

How do you become an umpire? Do you become one when you're bitten by another umpire?

[–] theneverfox@pawb.social 1 points 1 day ago

You get hit by a baseball. Then you're cursed with an overwhelming fear of getting hit by baseballs

This compels you to get protective equipment and hide behind a guy (who's entire job is to catch the ball if it makes it past the batter)

They should have the umpires sign in braille

[–] random_character_a@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

There is a Finnish hick t-shirt text "Don't touch electrician when you are wet".

This is because electrician in Finnish is "sähkömies" and is literally translated "electric man"

[–] griff@lemmings.world 4 points 1 day ago

welcome to the multiverse