this post was submitted on 08 Jun 2025
633 points (98.6% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

32147 readers
4873 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] mazzilius_marsti@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

just remember which side is the opening, or you'll accidentally tear the wrong side

[–] dumbass@leminal.space 3 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

Put the top in between your hands held flat like you're praying, then move them back and forth in opposite directions like you've just came up with an evil plan, if that doesn't work, then you're holding the bottom, so just do it to the other end.

[–] PangurBan@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

Theres no reason to put most produce in bags. I don't know why people are obsessed with plastic. People even put bananas in bags... Theyre already bagged!

[–] theedqueen@lemmy.world 3 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

I have zero issue opening these bags but for some reason my mom and siblings really struggle.

[–] Madison420@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago

Woah look at hr.reasonablymoisthands over here!

[–] Happyblonde@lemmy.zip 3 points 5 hours ago

I'm embarrassed to admit that I spent almost 10 mins trying to open one and finally gave up and just put my veggies right into the basket 😂

[–] fireweed@lemmy.world 15 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

FYI, reusable produce bags exist!

[–] Sprocketfree@sh.itjust.works 4 points 8 hours ago

I just don't put them in bags until checkout... Not sure if the cashier hates me or not.

[–] iRobot@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago

Just stretch the bag carefully a bit on opening. Works every time! Simple.

[–] axEl7fB5@lemmy.cafe 5 points 9 hours ago

Same with trying to peel double-sided tape

[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 7 points 10 hours ago

Most of the produce bags here have handles. I found that the meeting place where the "handle" meets the "bag" to be the easiest spot to separate. I just rub the bag between my fingers in that area and usually it only takes a single rub for it to separate.

[–] thatradomguy@lemmy.world 3 points 8 hours ago

I was at my local walmart today...

[–] SabinStargem@lemmy.today 9 points 11 hours ago (5 children)

The struggle is real.

...the easiest way to open these IME, is to lightly lick your thumb and the neighboring finger. This makes the respective sides of the bag stick to them for easier opening.

[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago

This is the correct answer. The sides of the bag are held together by a static charge. Wetting your fingers allows you to dissipate the charge, so the sides come apart.

[–] wetbeardhairs@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

The produce is all wet. Just touch the thing youre going to buy to get your fingers wet - not lick it you foul fuck

[–] SabinStargem@lemmy.today -1 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

You are a jerk.

Also, I don't touch produce. When I deal with these plastic bags, I am using them to line my thermal bag, to carry home my hot meal of fried or glazed chicken. This is because the carrying pouch the store puts the chicken into has air holes - which means that my thermal bag would get dirty.

[–] wetbeardhairs@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 hours ago

OK that was a bit much. I thought you were saying you went and licked your fingers each time you opened the bag just before squeezing the store tomatoes to find the right one.

[–] potoo22@programming.dev 3 points 8 hours ago

When masks were mandatory, I couldn't do this and tried for over a minute to open the damn bag.

I found that if I start with the cold vegetable, I could use their moisture to wet my fingers.

[–] trum_pam_pam@lemmy.world 2 points 10 hours ago

Finger licking good

[–] krawutzikaputzi@lemm.ee 1 points 8 hours ago

I just red that as in lick your neighbors finger and thought yeah that sounds about right ;-)

[–] ryan213@lemmy.ca 10 points 11 hours ago

That's easy. Just flip it, then flip it over again, just like a USB plug.

[–] AGuyAcrossTheInternet@fedia.io 36 points 15 hours ago (4 children)

I'd proudly and, like a snob, tell you that I've ascended beyond plastic bags by using reusable nets.

But I also keep forgetting the nets at home, so I use the plastic bags and promise myself not to forget. Only to forget again. FUCK.

[–] 1rre@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 11 hours ago

You remember while walking out of the front door, but tell yourself it's too much effort to go back and get them, only to regret forgetting them and not going back for them while it was easy right?

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 9 points 15 hours ago

Actually we mostly use paper bags in our stores now, because they're in a well integrated system where they can get recycled into something else.

That said, nets are a good idea which works every time you bring them. Which isn't often.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] graycube@lemmy.world 14 points 14 hours ago (4 children)

I put the bag between my palms and rub back and forth a bunch of times. It works as long as you have both hands free (and you have two hands).

[–] SPRUNT@lemmy.world 13 points 11 hours ago (1 children)
[–] graycube@lemmy.world 2 points 9 hours ago
[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 4 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

I usually wet the tip and rub it over and over until it comes.

Usually get some looks at the store but it works 100% of the time.

[–] Nastybutler@lemmy.world 1 points 8 hours ago
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] supernicepojo@lemmy.world 48 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

Dont lick your finger, the veggies get sprayed with water. Wet your finger with the clean water and the bag will open for you. Just like everything else in this life: Its better when its wetter.

[–] kurikai@lemmy.world 30 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Except paper bags and toilet paper before you wipe

[–] AlecSadler@sh.itjust.works 29 points 19 hours ago (2 children)
[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 8 points 14 hours ago

And toilet seats.

[–] blackluster117@sh.itjust.works 17 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

A duvet that hasn't been fully dried is miserable to sleep in.

[–] AlecSadler@sh.itjust.works 10 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

Dear god. I'm going to have a nightmare about that tonight I think. Just the weird awkward weight...the odd humidity nearby...the impending thought of mildew...

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] IsThisAnAI@lemmy.world 7 points 15 hours ago

Bring your own reusable bag.

[–] acidbattery@sopuli.xyz 10 points 18 hours ago

Hold the middle of the side that is supposed to open between your pointer finger and thumb and slide them in opposite directions. It almost always works for me :D

[–] tias@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

The plastic bag is folded on the sides. I have much more success if I start by pulling there, than attacking the opening directly. Hard to explain but you'll figure it out.

[–] spooky2092@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (1 children)

I just find the non sealed end and make the pspspspsp (cat call) finger motion and it opens up well enough when I have to use the bags

[–] AquaTofana@lemmy.world 2 points 4 hours ago

I love that you described it as the "cat call finger motion". I knew what you meant immediately

[–] brap@lemmy.world 8 points 18 hours ago (3 children)

You guys put all the fresh stuff in plastic bags? Why not just straight into the shopping bag?

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Simulation6@sopuli.xyz 5 points 16 hours ago

Gently blowing on the opening sometimes works

[–] RisingSwell@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

I aggressively rub the side that's meant to open between my fingers and typically that opens it a bit, and from there you just try to separate that while doing the bag open wave.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›