this post was submitted on 28 May 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

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4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

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-Do not Brigade other Communities

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-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


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top 24 comments
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[–] treeko@lemmy.world 71 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Only ten times?? You need to keep rereading until you achieve ego death and the words blend into an alphabet soup.. I would have accidentally sent hundreds of videos of me masturbating by now if I were so reckless as to only reread 10 times…..

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

The trick is to keep all your masturbation videos in the "homework" folder.

[–] Sorse@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 2 weeks ago

The actual trick is to keep all your videos on an old device that you keep offline

[–] Cort@lemmy.world 57 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

And remember to rename the resume file from draft-final-final-final-final to something reasonable

[–] SexualPolytope@lemmy.sdf.org 28 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

This is why I just use git to track changes to my CV. I also have branches for different application types.

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 16 points 2 weeks ago

Wait thats actually fucking genius

[–] laurelraven@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

This is why you should just put the date in the file name in ISO 8601 format, no indication how many times you've been over this

[–] Godric@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah, like I'm going to show them how desperate I am like that

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 2 points 2 weeks ago

And I guess time if you do many revisions on the same day?

[–] fakeman_pretendname@feddit.uk 6 points 2 weeks ago

Yes, a good reasonable name like draft-final-final-final-final_v2_to_print_THIS_ONE_b

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Yeah, i have a relative like that.

...anyone knows something like Paperwork (a CMS i guess?) but with support for Open Document too?

[–] valkyre09@lemmy.world 29 points 2 weeks ago

Worked with a guy once who instead of uploading his doctors note to the HR website, uploaded a recipe for chicken soup

[–] rustydrd@sh.itjust.works 25 points 2 weeks ago

Using the power of AI, you too could send your boss emails that read like the following, completely hassle-free:

"Certainly, here is a version of your email without slurs or aggressive phrasing.

Dear Fred,

..."

[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 24 points 2 weeks ago

"Dear Egracious Cunt..."

Ah goddamn it every time

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 23 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

What is this, amateur hour? Resume goes in documents and naked dancing videos go in homework/project/new project 2/data collection/november.

[–] shneancy@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

my porn folder is called "not porn" and also hidden (with the hidden folder feature you can toggle on an off)

[–] TheProtagonist@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Which OS are you referring to?

[–] Sorse@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 2 weeks ago

Most desktop OSes have support for hidden files

[–] shneancy@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)
[–] tauren@lemm.ee 8 points 2 weeks ago

I once got a notification from jira because somebody uploaded their wedding photos to a ticket I was following.

[–] Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

The struggle is real.

[–] Xanthrax@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

I thought that was my resume?

[–] kameecoding@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

https://youtube.com/shorts/AvjDJf1wS0Y

This is a much better version of this joke

[–] Zenoctate@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago