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JB Pritzker Warns Illinois to Hide Their Pets as Kristi Noem Comes to Town - Jezebel
(www.jezebel.com)
This is 100% an Onion headline.
this post was submitted on 08 May 2025
236 points (100.0% liked)
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I saw this headline and was like, "She's the puppy murderer, isn't she?" A quick glance at the comments confirms that she is, indeed, the one who murdered her own puppy.
They're shooting the dogs!
The Republicans coming in, they're shooting the cats!
They are shooting the pets of the people that live there.
🎵🎵🎵
They're climbing in your windows
Shooting your puppies up
Tryina kill 'em so ya need to
Hide your kids, hide your pets
Hide your kids, hide your pets
Hide your kids, hide your pets
And hide your spouses,
'cause they're shootin' everybody up here!
🎵🎵🎵
Someone needs to take her out to the gravel pit.
She's old, and she's faithful... but the rabies got her. It's time.
I heard she bites