this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2025
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LinkedinLunatics

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A place to post ridiculous posts from linkedIn.com

(Full transparency.. a mod for this sub happens to work there.. but that doesn't influence his moderation or laughter at a lot of posts.)

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[–] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 169 points 3 days ago (6 children)

I took a fat, greasy shit today.

Yeah, I admit it.

And I'm sure many of you out there have taken your fair share.

But why am I bringing this up?

For two reasons:

  1. Because no topic is off limits and
  2. Because it's important to be aware of the consequences of eating Chipotle

There are some things that need to be done in moderation.

For some (including myself), questionable food is one of them.

Be very aware of the things that if you do too much cause more harm than good.

Carry on.

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 47 points 3 days ago (3 children)
[–] cdf12345@lemm.ee 42 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Bro, apples don’t poop. WTF

[–] pennomi@lemmy.world 33 points 3 days ago (1 children)

They do, but only when you’re not looking.

[–] mutual_ayed@sh.itjust.works 21 points 3 days ago (1 children)
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[–] wieson@feddit.org 4 points 2 days ago

bookcover

About the little mole who wanted to know, who had made a doodoo on his head

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 19 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Because it’s important to be aware of the consequences of eating Chipotle

South Park joke about Chipotle making you shit your pants

Chipoltaway ad

More useful than the original.

[–] biofaust@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

As a European, the only information I have about Chipotle is that makes you shit greasy and greatly. Sounds like something straight out of Idiocracy from here.

[–] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

It’s not actually bad as long as the chipotle you go to is decent. I’ve never had trouble eating it; was only joking. They use fresh ingredients which is more than a lot of American fast food can say

[–] multiplemigs@sh.itjust.works 16 points 3 days ago (1 children)

might want to look in to getting a little more fiber in that diet if it was greasy. drink more water too.

[–] TrickDacy@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

Ok coca cola corp

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[–] AFC1886VCC@reddthat.com 69 points 3 days ago (4 children)

I do watch porn. But at least I'm on an ANONYMOUS FUCKING INTERNET FORUM so I can say it.

[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 59 points 2 days ago (2 children)

just for shits and giggles I went through the last 7 days of your comments and took notes:

  • UK citizen (uses currency and talks about local chocolate brands)
  • SteamDeck owner
  • soccer/football fan
  • gamer
  • DRM hater
  • frequent videogame pirate (knows the name of a less popular repacker)
  • work at job about shoes
  • doesn't have a foot fetish
  • boycotting the US
  • Porn watcher (probs older bc you referenced a specific one and people don't do that nowadays)

From this I would have to call every shoe stores in the UK to inform them that there is a miniscule chance their employee watches porn in their free time.

I wasted like 20m on this lol

And to be fair I'm not any better, I doxxed my full location on lemmy once accidentally 😂

[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 6 points 2 days ago
  • boycotting the US

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Except for the foot things; that doesn't narrow it down at all!

[–] biofaust@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Given access to the right data, even just the first 2 bits would narrow it down a lot.

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[–] Sandal6823@sh.itjust.works 18 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

Anonymous? I know your E Mail, IP Address and will analyze all your previous posts

[–] chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Is email really visible, I thought that wasn't displayed publicly. I don't see your email

[–] modus@lemmy.world 18 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

It's only visible to you. Everyone else sees it censored. Here's mine in plaintext: xxxxxxx@xxxxx.xxx

You shouldn't see my email address. Only yours.

[–] xthexder@l.sw0.com 9 points 2 days ago

I'm disappointed... It looks like all the x.xxx domains were registered in 2012 and are just parked (or maybe the register reserved them? I can't tell). It would have been fun if this could be a real email.

[–] Sandal6823@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 days ago

It's visible if I pay $500 to the admins

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago

Settle down Francis.

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[–] Delphia@lemmy.world 20 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Theres 2 kinds of men, those who jerk off and fucking liars.

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 19 points 2 days ago

true but... linkedin?

linkedin?

[–] bunitor@lemmy.eco.br 2 points 2 days ago

me when i jack off to sleep in the cafeteria

[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 78 points 3 days ago (2 children)

The “Carry on” at the end - like he’s stopped you in the street to share this nugget of wisdom, and is giving you a firm pat on the shoulder before sending me on your way.

[–] ddash@lemmy.dbzer0.com 41 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I like to think he is saying that to himself because he interrupted his porn binge to post this.

[–] krashmo@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Nothing like a good wank to clear the mind and uncover fundamental truths about the universe

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[–] roserose56@lemmy.ca 24 points 2 days ago

Linkedin is comedy heaven, I always lough with the content.

[–] RobotZap10000@feddit.nl 53 points 3 days ago (2 children)

"No topic is off limits" and "Be aware of indulgences in your life" are, in my opinion, great pieces of advice that you should apply to your close ones. However, LinkedIn is definitely not the place for this.

[–] zeca@lemmy.eco.br 13 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

as someone that never took anything worthwhile out of linkedin, i kind of like that people post this stuff there :P

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago

This is solidly Facebook.

[–] nimble@lemmy.blahaj.zone 41 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I had to look up what "digital real estate" is and best i can tell it's something like real estate in the metaverse, hoarding website domains, or some other bullshit

[–] mutual_ayed@sh.itjust.works 23 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

The future is a dead mall. If you have the time, this is a great documentary on it. Line Only Goes Up is great by him too.

https://archive.org/details/the-future-is-a-dead-mall-decentraland-and-the-metaverse

[–] CurlyWurlies4All@slrpnk.net 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Just about everything Dan Olson does is amazing

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[–] corroded@lemmy.world 45 points 3 days ago (1 children)

It's amazing how someone's job description can say "Scammer" in so many more words.

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[–] FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world 15 points 2 days ago

There are A LOT of things that are off limits in the workplace.

[–] friend_of_satan@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago
[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 4 points 2 days ago

Worked with a guy who was obsessed with Tim Ferris and his 'Opening the Kimono' philosophy on transparency.

Dude took it really far when he pushed for nude events and "Tell All's" at our company retreat.

Later quit to run some crypto scam.

[–] HorreC@lemmy.world 18 points 3 days ago (1 children)

you mean the same porn industry that makes billions a year, you mean you are the single person funding them! I couldnt think that people watch that stuff.

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[–] TabbsTheBat@pawb.social 18 points 3 days ago

Imagine not looking at porn at work, couldn't be me

[–] the_q@lemm.ee 13 points 3 days ago

Capitalism is a helluva drug.

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