this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2025
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[–] MossyFeathers@pawb.social 204 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Honestly, based genie. Instead of fucking you over by twisting your wish into something negative, he fucks you over by spending time on small details. At least the latter will likely result in something you actually want, whereas the former will probably suck.

[–] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 65 points 2 months ago (1 children)

After all that I still get brittle bone disease!?!

What? You said you wanted your Bones less dense, do you know how much bone I had to remove to let you fly with hummingbird wings?

[–] OrderedChaos@lemmy.world 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Can't be worse than boneitis.

[–] MycelialMass@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

Ah boneitis, my only regret

[–] samus12345@lemm.ee 13 points 2 months ago

Probably an autistic genie. It's important to get the details right!

[–] BackgrndNoize@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

These aren't small details, they are crucial details.

[–] blazeknave@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What's the opposite of a monkey's paw?

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[–] x00z@lemmy.world 89 points 2 months ago (2 children)

He's a smart one. Upselling body-shrinking or reduced bone density and increased metabolism.

That's 3 wishes.

[–] skulblaka@sh.itjust.works 22 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The original terms of the wish requested the ability to fly, not just wings. These are part and parcel to being able to fly with wings. Ergo, only one wish.

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Well now, mortal. I understand your point but rules are rules.

[–] samus12345@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago

He could have claimed so, but he's not a jackass genie.

[–] Snowclone@lemmy.world 81 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Not picking telepathic will is the dumbest shit I've ever seen.

[–] baguettefish@discuss.tchncs.de 18 points 2 months ago (2 children)

given this genie's thoroughness your brain would have to be 100x as heavy

[–] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Look, the 800lb brain man is flying!

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[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago

I wish it didn't have to be

[–] Thavron@lemmy.ca 6 points 2 months ago

Different folks, different strokes.

[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Welcome to 2025. Now that you've exited the rock and had a mild warm up, let's get you up to speed

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 69 points 2 months ago (10 children)

I would have just taken telepathic will so that it just ends there.

[–] Chronographs@lemmy.zip 54 points 2 months ago (5 children)

Yeah why would you take wings over telekinetics that’s wild

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 14 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Aesthetics? 🤷🏻‍♂️

[–] FreeAZ@sopuli.xyz 9 points 2 months ago

Have fun putting on any sort of shirt.

[–] jmcs@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 2 months ago

You don't need a genie to get prop wings on your back.

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[–] NONE_dc@lemmy.world 28 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Sure, but what if telepathic powers somehow affect your brain chemistry or morphology? Aside, Would flying be like manipulating gravity or lifting yourself up with an "invisible hand"?

[–] mosiacmango@lemm.ee 21 points 2 months ago (10 children)

The gravity manipulation is much better if they are handing out options.

[–] chaogomu@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

What's the Roche limit of the ground you're standing on?

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[–] Nelots@lemm.ee 15 points 2 months ago (3 children)

In order to use telepathy, we'll need to add a new section to your brain. Would you like to shrink the other sections of your brain to make room, or would you like a bigger brain? Oh, you want a bigger brain? Well, now we need to expand your head. Would you prefer an egghead or do you want the whole thing to grow? It will also come at the cost of requiring more energy.

[–] slacktoid@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 months ago

So.. You're saying I can eat more? Say no more!!

[–] GraniteM@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Can we put a small brain annex in my abdominal cavity to handle the additional workload? It seems like the autonomic functions could safely be relocated there.

[–] Snowclone@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Dude ''magic'' doesn't require anything.

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[–] blind3rdeye@lemm.ee 9 points 2 months ago

Is that a deliberate conscience telepathic effort, or automatic unconscious reflex? (eg. Perhaps you don't want to accidentally hover or float in public.)

[–] CidVicious@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 months ago

How much energy does telepathy use though?

[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

ok well moving an object still requires energy, so you're gonna need the increased metabolism perk. We'll have to increase blood flow to the brain, oh and it'll need to be increased in mass a lot...how do you feel about a tall head?

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[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 33 points 2 months ago

That's my kind of genie. I wonder if he'd be cool discussing the pros and cons of some of those choices.

[–] frog@feddit.uk 32 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Guys I got it.

I want a Green Lantern ring.

ring flys away looking for a worthy holder

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[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 28 points 2 months ago (5 children)

Wings? Nah, if I can't fly like Goku I don't want to fly at all.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (2 children)

dunno. inflating like a pufferfish and becoming a dirigible is cool too. i could go for that.

[–] eodur@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Thank you for that visual. I never realized the world needed Zeppelin Man.

[–] Rubanski@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

As long as you don't become Hindenburg Man

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[–] WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The genie grants your wish. You inflate via your own flatus. When you land, you have to release a fart big enough to buoyantly lift an entire human body.

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[–] villainy@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

I'm sure you mean grown up DBZ Goku, but I would 100% take a flying nimbus and putter around the skies on my little cloud buddy. Just remember to pack a parachute!

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[–] subtleorbit@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago (1 children)

As an engineer of sorts, this is every conversation that I have with clients, but comic lady answers waaaaaaaaaay better than most people lol.

[–] MBech@feddit.dk 18 points 2 months ago

Genie: What kind of bird?

Clients: I saw a very pretty bird once, I think it was in Europe. It had feathers and part of it was black.

Genie:.... Right.

[–] BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Would it be possible to have telekinesis, and use the telekinesis to fly, like Mewtwo?

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[–] Alpha71@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago

The laws of physics are a bitch.

[–] palordrolap@fedia.io 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

To steal an idea I had on something similar once, perhaps on an entirely different site, there's also where the wings come from in the first place, literally and figuratively.

The equivalent structure to a bird's wing in humans is the arm and hand. Does this new wing take the place of the forelimb as it does in birds or does the wisher necessarily become a six-limbed creature?

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[–] BenLeMan@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

This is why we can't have nice things

[–] spacemanspiffy@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)
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[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I would have just gone with the obvious answer: telepathic will

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