it's what believers crave! it's got electrolytes!
this post was submitted on 12 Apr 2025
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Holy shit! This appears to be real and as funny as it seems.
Bot started offering absolution and such.
Yeah they don't put him in the uniform anymore lol
Idiocracy 2, where the dumbest priest ever is sent into the future to save Catholicism.
Someone get Mike Judge on the phone
I mean, I'm not a theologist or anything, but based on other precedents, if someone was dying and wanted to be baptized at the last second, and no source of water could be arranged on time, the Gatorade baptism would probably be accepted by the Catholic church.
Transubstantiation of Gatorade into Holy Water doesn't even sound that outrageous when priests claim to transubstantiate wine to blood on a daily basis.
This seems to mean that priests can theoretically make any liquid holy, thereby making holy Gatorade.
Uh, skeet skeet "enjoy salvation"
They've got holy water and holy wine. Why not holy beer.
"This is my piss, drink of it and be holy"
I just checked and it seems that unfortunately not. At least catholic Priests are only allowed to bless "true water", which is usually understood to mean that nothing was purposely added to it (with the exception of certain salts for rituals like exorcism).
So is tap water okay, or only where it isn't fluoridated? What about sea water ? Heavy water ? Rain water ?
It needs to be demineralized and deionized to be able to accept god and become holy. God is quite picky
Bartender: "Sorry, dude, you've had quite a few drinks, I have to cut you off, only water for you from now on."
Jesus: "Dammit... "
More consequences than if it had raped some kids.
To be fair if you make an AI and ask it to be an authentic catholic priest you'd essentially have to reward it for such actions because it understood the assignment. Now why you'd make such an abomination in the first place that I don't know. The ways of the lord and all that...
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I legit thought it was going to say it found some way to molest a kid
That usually results in promotion
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I have been in IT for 20 years, have both a BS and MS in Information Technology, and I will never understand why EVERYONE has such a hard-on for AI; especially given its track record of “hallucinations”.
Aren't a lot of religions based on hallucinations that specific people have had?
Goddamnit. Take my effing upvote.
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You have been in IT for 20 years and don’t understand this? Has your career not made it abundantly clear that the average person is completely computer illiterate and has no idea what AI even is? How many people have you had to assist in 20 years who insist that they have tried every possible solution, only to find out that something isn’t even plugged in or turned on?
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You can literally do it with spit.... And that's not a hypothetical. You can do it with any fluid if necessary... How is this controversial?
Because not all dogma can be easily explained or defended so it is easier to hunt the messenger. Compare to evangelicals and how much they roar against some things in the old covenant as sins while still using cloth made of mixed materials, eat bacon or refuse to kill their kids if they are not respectful enough.
“It’s what plants crave.”
I mean, water has to be blessed by a priest first before it becomes holy. So, what if the only thing available is a bottle of Gatorade but you have a priest? Couldn't he bless the Gatorade so that the person could be baptized?
Semen is like 85% water
Seems your method of baptising children has already been discovered and is in heavy usage amongst all the christian sects.
Yes, but, every sperm is sacred, so God might get irate.
Thank God we are protestant!
He's not the mesiah, he's a very naughty boy.
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its not?
Sippin on the haterade as usual.
That image makes me think he's going to get mad at me for pursuing a culture victory.
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Well obviously that's wrong, everyone who took catholic theology studies in college knows it should either be monster or white claw /j
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wow they weren't kidding about civ7
Better move him to a new Parish before they figure what type of AI pornography he's into.
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As an actual, honest-to-God (Episcopal) priest myself, the idea of an “AI priest” is very troubling.
The church will make an AI priest before making a woman a "priest"
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It's got what babies crave.
You got me to laugh, updoot
It has what heathens crave.
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